When you do not have a job, you find yourself with a lot of times on your hands. You can spend that time fighting inner demons or moping. Or you can do those things in a healthy manner as well as choose to be optimist about your future.
Two weeks ago, I looked out at the beautiful day and wished I could go outside and read. It’s a wish I ways have on beautiful Spring and Fall days, but have always been too busy with work to ever even attempt it. But that day I grabbed a blanket, my Emily Giffin book and laid out shade to read. The breeze was nice and the dogs ran around happy to be basking in the sun with me. Then last week I curled up in bed as it rained those beautiful summer rains where there was still light. Another great weather moment to enjoy reading and yet another thing I haven’t gotten to do in some time.
I have enjoy mid-day Starbuck gabbing sessions, lunches with my mother and grandmother, and just hanging out at my favorite store. (We all know which one that is, don’t we?). The best things is that I have gotten to stay in bed and sleep when I’ve been even the slightest bit sick. It has been wonderful, and, while it doesn’t keep me from getting sick, it has kept me from being even sicker. I often wonder how in the good Lord’s name I worked full time.
The truth is, it is because of God. He has given me mission to work with disadvantaged children and he keeps me going because that is the work he has ignited with in me. So this break is just a break. I’m not done and my illness hasn’t taken full control of me yet. It’s time to keep moving. Bring me that horizon!
The Bible tells us that we will be persecuted for our belief in Christ. Christians have been and continue to be, but it seems lately I have heard that phrase a lot. As the country goes through another civil rights movement, certain groups of Christians are using their beliefs to control other people’s lives and crying persecution when they don’t get their way.
I will admit, I have been guilty of being intolerant of the intolerant. I believe whole heartedly that marriage equality should exist. Any one, no matter what religious or political beliefs they hold, are free to feel differently. I believe we have a right to our opinion as long as it doesn’t step on other’s civil rights. Allowing gay to marry has sparked many a debate and name calling. But now it is costing people church membership.
There have always been churches that don’t allow homosexuals or transvestites to attend services or become members. This isn’t news to me, but what is new is that there are churches who don’t want those that support marriage equality in their church.
This is where it gets personal. I found out that I was not welcome in a local church where I had spent some time in as a child. I am not gay. I have never questioned my heterosexuality. But I believe in equality for all. I live by “love thy neighbor as yourself.” I want to get married and have a family and am free to do so. My neighbor should be too.
But that isn’t the point of this post. What I want to convey is that we as Christians should quit persecuting each other. If we band together is Jesus’ love, then we can change the world and show the world what Christ is all about. We could make people understand and, with understanding, we will face less persecution. When we fight one another, we weaken our cause. We become less like Christ.
I had a friend asked me how I could continue to believe when people act like they do in the paragraphs above. I paused. Then I told her it was because of people like me. Love for all does exists; I just have to find those people who practice what they preach.
I was blessed last week to meet another one of those people. Someone who believe that loves is all that matters and we should treat everyone with Christ-like respect. This person has renewed my strength in this search and I may just have found another group of people who love like my Radical sisters do. I am praying for them and for those whose lives they touch.
I have let go of the anger and hurt from the above church because I know Christ’s love still lives on this planet. Let’s not squabble among ourselves; let’s unite in love and show the world what the followers of Christ are really like.
So……I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon. I’ve fallen off the praying wagon…simply put I’ve fallen off.
I have been SOOOO busy which is code for I’ve failed at prioritizing and just got overwhelmed by life. But I realize that this blog has meant so much to me (and hopefully) others that I think I should attempt to step back out there.
What have I done radical? Well I’ve been really focusing on my health. I wanted to of course lose the baby weight, but more importantly I wanted to support my husband in his new business venture. See while I’ve been on hiatus from my blogging I have been very active in helping him start his dream. Which has been such an inspiring and sobering experience. I am so proud of him for moving forward on a dream he’s wanted his whole life..but then I got to thinking.
Renee (this is my convo to myself) Renee, didn’t YOU have a dream of empowering women? Me:yes.. Self: so what happened. Me: see, ive been really busy.
And that’s the truth, but you know what. the other side of that truth is.. you have to MAKE time. You can’t say I’ll pray more or read more or start that business when I have more time.. Because truth is..your time is limited. If it’s limited now what makes you think it wont’ be limited tomorrow or the next day, or the next week….. and so on. The devil likes for us to put off our calling, because if he can defer us just a little bit, that’s one opportunity we’ve missed. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe God gives us chances, but I also believe:
Mattherw 25- 41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
We only get one life. We get one shot at this. My TEN year high school reunion is coming up. A decade of my life has passed and it went by like the blink of an eye. If I don’t make TODAY the priority to “get it done” it will be left undone when I leave this world.. I can’t have that happen.
Tying up loose Ends
Hello everyone! The title of this post is pretty much my life right now. I’ll be moving soon within my apartment complex. The building I currently live in, will be renovated soon. I’ll be moving to another building living w/ new roommates. I really don’t want to move but I have no choice. =( In September of last year, I moved within my apartment complex to another building (the building I live in now) because of renovations. I hate that I have to move again.
In the fall, I plan on moving again but to a different apartment complex. The rent is going up (in the fall) to $420 in the apartments I currently live in & I can’t afford to pay that amount. That’s the main reason why I’m moving. I don’t believe in living beyond my means. I plan on visiting apartments in my area soon. I saw a few apartments in Apartment Finder that are within my budget for rent.
My primary job is ending in May. The dining hall I work in will be closed for the summer. So I have to find a job for the summer. I was thinking about working at my second job (I’m a housekeeper at a hotel) full time as an option. I’m not sure if I can rely on that job by itself just for the summer. I really would like to find a job that pays more so I can leave my primary job. I’m ready for a change of scenery.
The way that my circumstances are right now, I feel like I’m being pushed out of my comfort zone (in a way). It wasn’t my intention to move in the fall but I think it’s the best thing for me to do. I’m trying to save money for a car & to pay for an apartment for the fall. I have quite a bit of things that I have to figure out. :-/
P.S. I enjoyed Spring Break last week. I was off from my primary job but I worked at my second job on last Saturday & Sunday. It felt good to rest. I work during the week so I was happy to have some time off. I pretty much stayed at home w/ the exception of working my second job. I volunteered last Friday. It’s been a while since I volunteered so I was happy that I was able to that for a few hours.
Written Tuesday 3/31/15
It has been a minute since I posted but it’s no time like the present to give you all an update on my goals
1. Send 100 pieces of mail. It started off really well but I slacked off after the new year but I do try to send my friends things monthly. I did do Christmas Cards this year which I haven’t done in years.
2. Take my health more seriously. I would have to say, of all of my goals, this would have to be the one that I’m focusing on the most. I have decided this year to take a slow approach to weight loss and healthy living. I am learning the benefits of eating healthy. I am also learning how to be emotionally healthy.I try to be more active on a daily basis. I have set a monthly goal for my pedometer and I limit my soda intake and fast food outings. My focus is making small steps for long lasting results.
3. Gain experience in photography. I have been taking pictures and I have been scouting places in my local community that I think would be awesome locations but I am in need of some models. I also need to join in some beginner photography challenge.
4. On a daily basis, do something that will benefit my dream job. This goal all depends on my feeling for the day. I need to focus more on my future dreams and ambitions and less on feeling sorry for myself for current situations.
5. Make old things new again. Flip 12 items. This has been a slow goal. I am currently working on a project now. I hope to be able to put it on my personal blog page soon.
6. Learn how to sew. I have tutorial pins on my board, Does that count?
7. Grow my business. This is also a slow going goal but I have some new pieces that I’m working on. I hope to add them to the site soon.
This is my canvas Ima paint it how I want it. -JCole
I am sorry for my part in our schism in college. Nothing is a one way street. Neither one of us acted with the other’s best interest at heart. One of the biggest things is that we were both lied to by an outside force. I forgive you for your part in it and I am sorry for mine. I have a million reasons and excuses but I won’t bother with them. This isn’t about making me feel better, but letting you know that I see what I did. I truly hope your life is going well and that you and your child are as happy as can be.
For all the men that I wronged, I am sorry for when I was stupid, when I was hurting, when I wasn’t in my right mind. I won’t lob bullets but say I am sorry for my inappropriate reactions to things you did.
I am sorry to my current friends who I stand up or need help from. I know you love me anyway. I do really wish that I didn’t have to ask so much of you.
I am sorry that I haven’t accepted any apology that I felt wasn’t for me but that I thought that was just to make people feel better. I am also sorry that these apologies don’t mean that this is time to walk back into my life. God led me to cut you off for a reason but I am sorry when I did not handle it correctly.
I am sorry for a lot. But here I write my words and let them fly away. God asks for confession of my sins and then he forgives me. Here is my confession even if some of you will never read them.
Hey everyone! Have you ever been in a place in your life where you didn’t know what to do regarding important decisions in your life? That’s me right about now. I have a couple of decisions that I have to make soon.
One of the decisions I have to make is where I’m going to live in the fall. The apartments that I currently live in is increasing the rent the fall. I’m not sure of if I’ll have the funds to cover the rent, power bill, & water if I decide to stay where I am. If I decide to move, I have to enough money to cover rent, a security deposit, & an application fee. So I feel torn right now because I don’t know what to do. I have an Apartment Finder book so that’s a start in the right direction.
I’m also trying to figure out whether or not I should buy a car right now. A part of me wants to buy one but I don’t think it’s the right move at the moment. The final decision I have to make is how to jump start my career. That is ongoing. It seems like everything at the moment is about money. Money to move, money to have a car, & having a career that provide good income. Ugh I hate important decisions! I just want to make the right ones! Pray for me! God bless!
Written on Saturday, Feb. 28, 2015