So the devil has been trying to get me all week. I’ve been in a lot of pain so I spent alot more time in bed than I wanted to. I ended up angry with myself and feeling as though I wasn’t trying hard enough.The self doubt and questions about my abilities have been on my mind all week.
I keep thinking what “radical” thing can I do this week? Am I radical enough? What can I do that will make a difference? What will I say? Needless to say this definitely kept my anxiety level high because once you start asking yourself questions what follows are more questions. What struck me today was it doesn’t matter what questions I have- GOD is always the answer.
Doubting yourself is a slippery slope. Our abilities are limited, our capacity to dream is also limited. The thing is what God can do for us will always exceed what we can imagine. God knows what is best each and everytime. So this tug of game of “Am I…Am I not?”…is a colossal waste of energy that could be directed elsewhere (like helping someone else) We can do ALL things with God , not some…ALL things. I have to constantly remind myself of this when I get discouraged and things do not go as planned. God is not going to leave me and is always there to do what I cannot do.
So the task at hand is to focus on what good has happened. Any accomplishment , big or small,matters. It matters because it is a step in the right direction. It is a step closer to achieving your goals. Updates as far as my goals go are: I have written in my journal at least three times! I also looked into a herbal rememdy for migraines (feverfew) and ordered it and it arrived in the mail today! Also I volunteered one day this week at a Women and Children’s homeless shelter! I wanted to do like 500 radical things, lol….but baby steps my dear…super baby steps. Thank you for taking the baby steps with me 🙂
Until next time remember : Trying to figure things out and answer questions that only God knows the answer to, will confuse you. God is not the author of confusion. Sometimes we have to be ok with not knowing. Let’s take comfort in the fact that we KNOW the one who knows.
One day at a time