Pain- This is the only thing on my mind at the moment so I figured I’d talk about it.
Chronic pain sucks. It does- there isn’t a nicer way to put it. It’s challenging on multiple levels because you now have to plan (or not plan) your entire life around it. Having a chronic migraine comes with a host of other challenges that are unique to the “migraineurs”. The sensitivity to light, sound and smell. The neverending nausea, dizziness and “foggy” feeling. The sometimes social isolation because you don’t want to be the party pooper or feel like you are inconveniencing anyone because they have to make special accommodations. Even people that love you dearly can become exhausted and annoyed by the rearranging of their routine that chronic pain seems to oftentimes cause.Even tougher is having to pretend as though you feel fine when really you don’t. The only time I am not in pain is when I am asleep. And I thank God for the nights when I sleep well. It’s so great!
Most of the time I push through and with God’s grace I have been able to do alot of things despite how I feel. But sometimes and I can’t lie. I get upset. I feel like it’s not fair. Waking up every morning feeling like I have a concussion and going to bed feeling like someone punched me in the skull was definitely not how I envisioned myself in my 20’s….and my 20’s are almost over. I get upset. I get really really mad, frustrated and sad. Sometimes I pout. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I facebook stalk people who seem happy and hate on them just because. (Hey, judge free zone ) But then I get over it and I get over myself.
We all have things that we have to go through that we may feel like we don’t deserve. But you know what we really don’t deserve: God’s amazing grace. It is God’s gift to us, we can’t EARN it, because we already have it and it’s readily available 24/7. So it’s always there for you in any situation. The next time you are throwing a pity party- I challenge you to put some good thoughts on your guest list.Think of what you DO have that could so easily have not been yours. Look around-Thank God for your bed, the side table, a place to live. Thank God for having food to eat. Look at yourself in the mirror- Thank him for your eyes, ears , nose and mouth. And if you just can’t seem to think of anything at all. Just say: Thank you Jesus. Thank You.
One day at a time