Once again, for reasons beyond my control (home computer in the shop, left work early Friday to see a doctor about my ankle), my blog is late and because of that has changed in nature once again. The focus has shifted, but before I reach that point I want to high light what the original blog was going to say.
I stepped out of my comfort zone and strived to reach my “less than perfect goal” by finally saying, “I can’t do it,” and “you’re going to have to ask someone else.” I felt like I was stuck in a Lady Gaga song, “don’t call my name.” This was not directed at my girls, but to the multitude of people who suck the life from me with out giving it back. They had to be cut from my stress before I lost my mind.
The second goal I that I am working on to accomplish is my health. I left work early Friday to get my ankle looked at. The doctor didn’t see anything bad but requested bed rest for the weekend. Anyone who knows me knew that this drove me up a wall. If it doesn’t feel better soon he said he would refer me to an ortho doctor or PT. I’m I’ll be better before my ant-inflammatory runs out. But I do feel better after my weekend off, and know that all the stress in my life is not making it feel any better.
Now to my real post; my real struggle. Life continues to change for me. I have a couple of paths unfolding before me. I am on what I am calling the “swirl patterned floor.” Envision that dual colored swirl tile in the main room of a haunted house. Its terrifying .I don’t know where I am going and what I am going to do. There is one option I don’t necessarily want but will step up to the plate on. This is what I have always been, a “reluctant leader” but a leader never the less.
I have been praying for one path and one path only. The path I want. It was yesterday that I finally realized I needed to pray for the direction that God wanted me to go. One of those swirled paths leads to where I need to be, I just need to be free to be directed there. Both paths will change my life in exactly the same way but with different results. This “hands off the steering wheel” is scaring me, and I am having trouble with some of the behind the scenes things that happened and hopefully can soon express.
I know this all kind of vague. I can’t really get into details just yet. But know I am trying to strive towards one of my Radical 7even goals, and am praying that my plan and God’s match up, so at the end of the swirl patterned floor we are next to each other and not facing off.