Confessions from a future cat lady-Renee

I have worked extremely hard on my rad7even goals..but  I don’t think I’ve been intentional enough with my goals. I’ve gotten them done..or met some requirements but I am not following through as much as I would like. Anywho this rad7even entry is more about revelation than reaching my goals (which ironically will help me reach my goals).

I was on the phone with a family member and they were recounting an argument that they had with someone. The whole time I am listening I am thinking: “wow, this seems like it’s a bit much, a bit over the top… fact it sounds a lot like ME!”. I was horrified by that statement. I don’t want to be someone who always has to be right. Someone who even though my opponent is down I feel the need to kick them..that’s just not how I want to be..but I realize that right now..that’s exactly how I am.

I am currently dating again..this is my try new things purposely goal. How is dating new to me…well it’s how I date.  I have a two week rule. If within two weeks I’m not feeling him..*looks towards door* I send the guy packing. Now this might seem so extreme (to all my friends) they think I am crazy and often say: “Alright Renee` you’re gonna be old and living with cats if you don’t chill out with your list”. I don’t think I am being too hard on most guys, but I had to realize that I just might be a bit over-the-top… some things that have gotten guys kicked before:

  • Using the word conversate instead of converse (it just irks me)
  • The way he smiled/dressed
  • being way too loud in public
  • being too introverted
  • Unsure of where he’s going (no life plan)
  • His genes.. (I mean I would like to have another child so I gotta see what I am getting into) example of genes…easily getting sick, having a history of obesity in the family, alcholoism
  • The guy wears pink

I realize that my over all problem is not so much with what they have/don’t have as much as it is…..I am absolutely terrified of picking the wrong guy. I haven ‘t always picked wisely in the past and now I think I am just in overkill mode..wait did he just wipe his spaghetti hands on his PANTS (i digress).

I want someone I can trust, laugh with and build a home with…I just don’t know WHAT that all looks like. None of those things have a job title, education level tied to I don’t know what this man could possibly look like. And I don’t like that. I don’t like change. I don’t like not already knowing if this guy is the right one or not. I mean if he’s not..did I just waste my time talking to him? I don’t wanna waste time….

So instead I just kick ’em to the curb and keep it stepping. But  now I actually met someone and I just don’t know if I can change my quick draw McGraw lifestyle. SO…radically changing my life will equally me radically changing how I deal with the opposite sex. My issue reminds me of:

Romans 5:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

No one is perfect..and sometimes people need to be told how to deal with you. You are different than the last person they dated and there is always that adjustment period. We have to learn to be patient with others like Christ is patient with us. Not saying ALL things need to be worked out (like verbal or physical abuse) but if they dude wears bowties (another thing i just hate) maybe that’s something you just have to learn to live with.

Welp, I am slowly learning to let people be themselves and stop trying to control them OR letting them go. There’s not two options..sometimes you just have to accept that person for who and what they are..and maybe in return that person will do the same for you.


from a reformed Catlady-


  1. #1 by Beyondai on October 19, 2011 - 4:42 am

    Alright Alright Alright… I am proud that you are FINALLY learning how to take it step by step. U learned today! You were jumping to step 5 (wanting to get married) before even reading the instruction for step one (learning how to spot and date the right guys). Life is definitely a learning process and we all struggle with not wanting to mess up, but that is just life. Just don’t rush into anything OR RUSH OUT OF IT…lol! God will reveal a person’s true character to you in time… IN TIME. He will also reveal to you the guy you are meant to be with. Just take it day-by-day, step-by-step! Love ya girlie!

  2. #2 by Renee` N. Chaffin on October 19, 2011 - 1:51 pm

    Thanks hun…yes it only took 25 years LOL but still I am learning! that’s the important part. it’s also easier when people are keeping you accountable *cough* *cough* LOL love you too. we all know how impatient I can be. but God is working on me… I still hate pink shirts and bow ties LOL

  3. #3 by radical7even on October 23, 2011 - 1:46 pm

    I see you are speaking from a very logical standpoint, but I also want to mention the importance of your intuition. Sometimes women stick with a guy because he has all the qualifications and SHOULD be the right guy. However, it could be that you never feel fulfilled with that person because of chemistry issues. If it’s really just the one mention of the word conversate, yea that’s too picky. If it’s a gut feeling that this isn’t the one, follow it. I don’t care if it’s been 1 week lol.

    That being said I didn’t know Nathan was someone that would be my whole world when I first met him. We were both at work and too serious to be ourselves. The first time we really hung out and just joked around together, I could feel this is the one. It was so crazy that I didn’t believe it at first. So it was about 3 months (?) or so before Nathan and I really hit it off. Not saying this is how it happens for everyone, but I do think your intuition is important. Best of luck girly!


  4. #4 by renee on October 24, 2011 - 10:52 am

    Thanks kels! I love the u and nathan story its too cute. I admit when it first started I was hesitant simply because I love you and want the absolute best for you. But to the outside world it seemed like it happened seamlessly. Yall fit SO well together. Im trying to take it one day at a time see how things could be..trying not to rush but its so hard. Im weird even when I study a chapter I will flip towards the back and read forward..i know thats weird but idk it helps somehow..i always wanna know the end. Before I had daniel iwas able to very clearly and distinctly able to compartmentalize my feelings..but daniel has made me a big pile of mush lol so now im even more cautious because u see me.i cry way more now than I ever did (do hormones ever regulate after a baby? Lol). So im learning I cant be completely shut off nor can I be totally open..such a weird dynamic. But I am trustng gut…it seems to always know

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