“I’m not judging but…”

I had no idea what I wanted to write for my blog and this is why it is late but I became convicted about judging and this is what God has put on my heart to talk about today.

How many times have we uttered the phrase “I’m not judging but” and then of course we proceed to pass judgment on a person or situation that we believe we could have handled differently but more importantly better. I know I have, in fact I think sometimes I have used the phrase to make myself feel better about my opinion.

And now with all the social media outlets it’s very easy to get a snapshot of someone’s life and make assumptions. I am guilty of this- perusing facebook and then thinking that I somehow “know” what’s really going on and then begin to form a judgment in my mind. For a couple of months now I have been extremely aware of this and remind myself that you never know what is really going on with other people. Even if you have a pretty good idea, when they lay down at night with their thoughts, you are not privy to that intimate process that they are going through. The process of them dealing with that situation and the conversation that they may or may not have with God.Everyone has a cross to bear and a battle that they are fighting. Everyone.

I am very opinionated. I have a thought about pretty much everything and most of the time can have a long never-ending intellectual debate about it if I wanted to. There was a time when I wanted to. Every.single.minute. I would take every opportunity to give my opinion “solicited” or not. You know what happened? I began to think my opinion was the only one that mattered and it was up to me to “prove a point” and drive it home whether or not it hurt someone or left them really disliking me. I alienated people who loved me dearly. I am so happy to report that I have changed tremendously. I still have my opinions but I choose wisely what should be voiced and what should be “choiced” And by choiced I mean the opinions that could really hurt someone or ones that are not coming from a place of love but rather a place of “here is what I think just because it’s what I think”…. I keep those opinions in my head. There is a place between your thoughts and your mouth….it’s where judgment churns. As Christians it is increasingly important to consistently keep this place in check.

 The bible tells us :Be honest in your judgment and do not decide at a glance; but judge fairly and righteously (John 7:24)

Being in the counseling field had a great deal to do with that. I have worked with individuals that have done things, witnessed things, have had things done to them that are mind-boggling! I have had clients that have views that totally contradict my way of viewing things. As a counselor I learned tolerance. Tolerance goes a long way. It opens the door to compassion, empathy and love.

I am challenging you and joining with you in prayer to be able to “choice” or “voice” all thoughts wisely!

One day at a time,


  1. #1 by Kelly Diane Cromer on November 7, 2011 - 1:22 am

    LOL, I think Renee went through a similar process because as I was reading this I assumed she had written in it. You are both lovely, opinionated ladies and I love it. I hope you can both find good outlets for your… discussions. I enjoy them immensely.

  2. #2 by radical7even on November 7, 2011 - 1:44 am

    Thanks Kelly. I can safely say this was the Algem from like 3 years ago (pre grad school and pre sharpening my counseling skills). Nowadays I’m still the great debator… but mostly in my head lol 🙂

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