I am extremely late with this blog..why might you ask,because I was unsure what I should write about. I have done something radical I quit my job..started a new one, started dating, opened up to new experiences…but I wasn’t sure if that was jazzy enough..ya know it’s not earth shattering to leave one position to go to the next. Dating is not marrying someone LOL
SO I wasn’t sure what the heck I should share ..so I am just gonna talk about LOVE. One theme God keeps surrounding me with is LOVE.
I don’t think the average person reading this blog understands the love that I have experienced and received since founding HIS (Heavenly Inspired Sisters). I never had true friends until I stepped out of my comfort zone and opened my life and experiences up to these ladies. I was a girl when I met them..they have seen my ups and downs and I have literally grown up with them. Love means loving someone even when they are acting or being “unlovable” that’s when someone needs it the most..and these lovely ladies have definitely done that,.
Now that I am a mommy…everyday I have an opportunity to love on someone and really experience what that means in entirety. When I see my son run to my mother’s room screaming NANA….I am just overwhelmed. I didn’t grow up around family..I never experienced what it’s like to be close to any of my aunts,uncles, or grandparents. My family has always consisted of my immediate family…and when my parents divorced..it really made the definition of family change for me. My parents and siblings were all I had..and now they were in different areas..Christmas, Birthdays it’s all celebrated separately. And now I am a single mom..who for the first time will have to celebrate a holiday without my little man..and the thought KILLS me..I absolutely hate “sharing” a child. It is the cruelest concept I think I have ever had to experience. To love someone SO much and have to split time with someone else..whose not a part of your life is weird and just unfair…which is why I am definitely an advocate for marriage THEN babies..but I digress…
The reason I choose to split holidays…it’s all out of LOVE. I love my son. I want him to know his family..even if that family is not one that I am directly associated with. I made a choice to do what was in his best interest..even if it wasn’t in the best interest of my heart (and that’s real). It hurts me deeply to have my son leave me and spend time with his father..because I grew up with my dad in the house. When we spent time together we spent time together. There were no events that both parents didn’t feel welcomed to come. Graduation,weddings etc will always be separate for my son’s father and I..and that’s weird BUT out of love I know that my son should have both his parents there and involved.
For me co-parenting is radical..as a mother it goes against every fiber of your being..to let your bundle of joy leave you and have experiences that you can’t be apart of..but it’s the reality of the situation.
It is only through the love and support of my mom and friends that I am able to do co-parenting. They let me whine to them, cry to them..and take me out to distract me (LOL).
I have decided that no matter what happens to me in my life..i KNOW Love exists. Love found me through my friends, my son..and hopefully one day through my husband. I am no longer rushing to check events and dates off my check list. Instead I will let LOVE find me, Guide me and Motivate me when things get tough..in the end all you will be remembered for is who and what you love. I Love God, because He first Loved me. He loved me enough to send me a baby that helped me to grow and allowed me to share my testimony with so many people. Radical for me..is letting God’s Word be final in my life. And his final Word is Love.