Sitting in a theater for 11 hours really gives you time to figure out what you want to say. However, in this time, I was unable to figure out how to say what I wanted to say. I even let the draft of this blog simmer over the weekend hoping I could make my feelings clearer. But I still haven’t come up with the best way to put feelings into words. So bear with me as I try.
My best friend got me into Twilight three years ago. She recommended the books to me based on my love of Buffy and all things vampire. She lent me all the books which I quickly read. We even went to the midnight movie opening. After that I was hooked.
What I love about Twilight is not just that it’s another world, but it’s another world that I can share with those who I care about most. From my mom, to my best friend, to my volunteers, we can all have conversation about Twilight. These conversations are something we bond over. My best friend and I would discuss the philosophical arguments about the books, the casting decisions for the movies, and crazy fans. We went to every midnight opening catching the Saga marathon before each show.
This became half the fun of the movies and events. Just being with people who mattered. This was something we as friends shared. It was the ultimate Girls Night.
Then she up and moved toTampa. Though I was excited for her and her life’s adventure, I was sad to see her go and wondered who would talk her place at might night. Because in any other instance, she was irreplaceable.
The answer is no one. A volunteer and I wanted to go together, and then she couldn’t get off work. Then my co-worked wanted to go but couldn’t. It seemed that I wasn’t suppose to share this night with one else. I even thought about not going to the show. But then I realized; that wasn’t radical. That was scared of branching out and making my life my own. I realized that for it to be a beloved tradition, the best way to honor it would to be to do it.
I was surprised how sad I was that morning. I really felt the separation between me and my friend more intensely. Instead of waking up excited about Girl’s Night, I was taken over by the trepidation of being alone for so long. I pushed on not letting that fear bother me, and tried to remember all the fun we had has before.
So I went to the marathon and midnight show. I gave blood in honor of my best friend because we had done it the year before. I even wrote her a letter while I was waiting for Breaking Dawn, and it made me feel connected to her again. At the end of the night, I was happy I had gone. I had enjoyed the movie, and had not let fear take over something that been so fun before. Though it was different not having her there, it was still pleasant. Last week’s radical event was more than pop culture. It was about overcoming fear, and being able to be on your own. It’s about the love we have for our friends. It was about accepting change and loss. It was about being happy even when you’ve been separated from the ones you love.
So to all my girl friends, please know that I love you. I miss you each day, even if you are still in my city. The bonds we have are so powerful. You ladies mean the world to me.