Celibacy and the City-Renee`

As I rad7even girl it is my duty to be completely honest about my journey. There are two things that make up a big part of who I am well, three. 1) I am a Christian 2) I am a mother and 3) I am celibate. Today, Nov 23, marks my one year anniversary of celibacy. A huge milestone for me because sex is such a huge deal. It’s all over television,songs, movies and after a certain age some guys no longer think chasity is “cute” LOL so dating has been quite an interesting trek since I’ve been on my journey.

Why I chose Celibacy

As a little girl I always dreamed of getting married and having a big family. My virginity was something that I valued at the utmost. In fact, I think I used my purity as another way for me to be legalistic and judge those who I knew were engaged in sexual activity. How could they possibly give of themselves that freely to someone that they didn’t love? I didn’t understand and actually was appalled by how most people seemed to take the act of sex so lightly. This was my thought all through high school and most of college. Then I got into a relationship that I just “knew” was right, we loved each other and were planning a future together so having sex with this person couldn’t be wrong because we were in love..and love conquerors all things. Well truth is, I wasn’t even in the right mindset to even understand the true responsibility of love and sex..and please believe it is a responsibility. I had an immature view of relationships..and that mixed with sex is never a good thing. there’s no real security when you’re dating someone, it’s a lot easier to leave someone that you’re just “dating”. without a commitment of marriage it can lead to some pretty unstable feelings,thoughts and situations. That being said that relationship ended.With it so did my view of myself. I was supposed to be the virginal bride, and if I wasn’t then I was at least supposed to marry the person I lost my virginity too..right?
Not long after the break up I decided to just date around. Not get serious with anyone just hang out. Then I met my son’s father and became pregnant, I’ve told this story a million times so I will spare the details. LOL. But that’s when everything got super serious for me. I mean I was having a baby…and with someone I didn’t actually want to marry LOL….
Aw the complexities of sex.

Complexities/complications

I always find it odd when people say they are surprised they are pregnant.. it’s even funnier because I was “surprised” when I found out I was pregnant.The only woman who should have ever been surprised that she was pregnant is Mary, the Mother of Jesus LOL. Sex has consequences that are deeper than having a baby, or possibly contracting an STI but there are emotional ramifications as well. Truth is people always think that something will never happen to them.

I have heard too many stories of a guy who just wanted to be friends with a girl..but ended up sleeping with her and she got attached (sex was meant to attach people it’s the whole purpose, it’s why God sanctioned it for marriage) and then the guy couldn’t get “rid of her” she thought they were now in a relationship. Or…the guy cheats and the girl has a Jazmyn Sullivan moment and busts the windows out his car. I have seen a few cars in a parking lot with some pretty profane words on it and/or cheater keyed in the side…lust which people confuse for love can make people act in some wild ways.

Truth is I am at a point in my life where I want something more than a physical, emotional and spiritual connection. I want that connection to be strengthened by the commitment of marriage. A relationship that God not only honors BUT will also bless. My story is that mine . I can only talk about my experiences and what truth is and looks like to me. Love can be a beautiful thing if and when you are ready for it. Not rushing it, trying to control it, or stressing over it..all those phases and feelings equate to an immature view of what love and relationships are really all about. The reaction I get from being celibate are quite hilarious. I get the “Girl, it couldn’t be me” or the “are you serious” statements all the time. But truth is sex costs..and it’s a recession so I am not trying to pay LOL but in all seriousness, love,sex and relationships are serious business and should not be taken or entered into lightly. And right now, as I approach my 25th bday, I am just now realizing the true seriousness of it all. It all seems like fun and games until you actually see some of the consequences and for everything we do in life there are consequences.

Song of Solomon 2:7 NIV Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Be diligent about who you allow to be a part in your world,it can literally change the destination for your life.

Peace,Love & Celibacy LOL
Renee`

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  1. #1 by radical7even on November 23, 2011 - 8:29 pm

    I am always so proud of your honesty and stregth when I read your post. In today’s world, ideals are often lost. YOu are so strong!
    ~Audrey

  2. #2 by Renee N. Chaffin on November 23, 2011 - 8:34 pm

    Aw thanks hun!!!! that’s super sweet thanks for all the support

  3. #3 by Venus on November 23, 2011 - 8:49 pm

    I totally can relate to this post..I celebrated my 1 yr of celibacy on Nov. 6th. YAY ME and YAY to you for your 1 yr of celibacy!!! =) I’m so proud of you! I learned the hard way about sex and its consequences! I’m glad that God delivered me from that!! =) I too receive, the smart remarks when I tell people that I’m celibate…Its whatever!! lol!! My relationship w/ God is more important than hurting his heart w/ sin. His relationship is what matters the most to me outside of my relationship w/ my boyfriend, family, and friends. Love you!! ~Venus~

    • #4 by radical7even on November 28, 2011 - 2:35 pm

      Congrads Hun!!! YAY for us!! we should always put God first but sometimes when we are in relationships that can get a little tricky to say the least. That’s why it’s always good to encourage one another. So i am so proud of you hun! stay strong.

  4. #5 by radical7even on November 24, 2011 - 4:49 am

    Well, well, well… you can never really be ready for pregnancy. At least I was not. I knew how it worked in general, but they really need sex education programs in public school–mine didn’t have one. What people really need to know is that you can get pregnant INSTANTANEOUSLY. It does not matter what you do in the moments following, you are already knocked up if you are knocked up. It’s like a lightening bolt that shoots straight into your… future! Lol, remember this. If you are too lazy to go to the grocery store–you are in NO shape to have sex. -Kelly 😉

    • #6 by radical7even on November 28, 2011 - 2:43 pm

      I had several sex education classes starting at some and then some more in jr. high and I took human sexuality in College. Didn’t change the fact that I somehow that I was immune to pregnancy LOL But all in all things worked out realy well for me. I would much rather have a beautiful baby than anything else that could have happened

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