I am truly having a hard dealing with perceptions lately. Mainly that the perceptions that other have about me and the perception I have bout myself are not the same. This cognitive dissonance has caused me great anxiety. It all relates to me taking on my new position.
Many people are cheering me on. But many people, though not against me, make statements about how I’m not good at dealing with people during conflict. I know I am somewhat socially awkward, especially if I am not with my friends. But I have been in several leadership roles and have dealt with people many times. While I don’t like confrontation, I can handle it when need be. I have never believed I have shrunk away from things that needed to be done. But that is what they are implying.
I think what throws people off about me is that I am a good servant. I do the jobs, and do them well. I keep my mouth shut, but can stand up for myself when being run over. I will take the leadership role but prefer not have to handle that stress. This, in part with some of the conflict weaknesses that they do have a point about, I believe is what confuses people.
While I need to work on my leadership and people skills, I believe that given time to grow and adjust to my situation and station, this will come naturally. Since I was little, I have worked 100 percent on everything you. It’s why I love that new song; it goes along with my philosophy. “You can go hard or you can go home.” Home is never the option.
After time in my new job and many prayers, this is anxiety slowly subsiding. Instead of worrying about people’s perception, I am going to change it by my actions, but only in a way that is good for me and my job. I know how things need to be handled; it’s why I was given the job. So thank you for the good advice and don’t be insulted when I ignore the bad.