Decisions, decisions… and so far all for the best. -*Kelly*-

I had to make a hard decision not to go forward with trying to get my thesis published. I just have too much going on already. I don’t want to live my life in a state of high anxiety anymore. I’ve done that for almost 8 years. I want to do a good job now with my families at FFN and come home to relax with my family. I’m hanging up my overachiever hat for now. Time to live the life I’ve always wanted. I want to be a better family member and friend; no more taking on too much to do this. It’s a bitter-sweet feeling… mostly sweet.

Also, I’m going to be really ‘Radical’ here and be honest about a decision that’s been greatly inspiring/comforting to me lately, even though I like to be private. That’s the point of this blog right? I’ve hired a wonderful certified midwife to assist me with prenatal care and through the birthing process. She has birthing attendants (doulas) that are helpful as well in encouragement and positioning during labor. Vicky herself has 38 years of experience with helping women through all types of labors.

I’m not any kind of superwoman or that different from most other women I know. Natural childbirth has been happening for centuries. It’s only now and in some countries that having your baby without medical intervention (unless necessary) is somehow considered ABNORMAL. I know it will hurt. However, many women I’ve spoken with since I made this decision have told me stories of how their births were natural and highly rewarding. One lucky woman told me her birth pains at worst were no worse than menstrual pains. I’m not counting on having an especially easy labor. I’m just more comfortable in the privacy of my own home with the freedom to move about and eat/drink as I please.

I understand people may be surprised or concerned if they haven’t done this themselves or if they had difficult labors. The thing that some people don’t get is that this is my birth experience and these are my options. I educated myself and made this decision. If you are supportive, then I appreciate your comments/thoughts on the subject. However, I don’t owe anyone an explanation to justify my decision. Support me or keep your thoughts to yourself. In the end I’ll either give birth at home or finish at a hospital should I have any complications.

I never would have thought being pregnant would be such a personal experience and that people would talk about me and my decisions as if they’re up for public debate. However, I let the frustrations go and remember that everyone who talks to me about this does so because they care. Likewise, anyone who steps across that line will have to get over it when I tell them how this isn’t their business.

We’ll all survive. In the end, I’ve prayed about all my decisions and am finally voicing my thoughts in an assertive way. Being complacent to be ‘nice’ gets you nowhere. God gave me an inquisitive mind for a reason. I can figure out my own way. At this point my goal is to be positive and loving towards others. In the process, I’m also letting go of any responsibility to put up with disrespect or inconsideration. I don’t hold grudges, but I don’t take crap either.

This is my journey at the moment. Thanks for accompanying me! Much love until next time. 🙂

  1. #1 by Venus on January 15, 2012 - 4:00 am

    Hey Kels!! I’m glad you made the decision to DO YOU! I know how hard it is to try to please everyone around you (which is IMPOSSIBLE)! lol! You deserve to enjoy your life! I’m supportive of your decision to have natural child birth and to have a midwife! I think its a great idea! Who cares what everyone else thinks (ok well your husband’s opinion matters lol)? You’re the one who is going to have the baby! lol! At the end of the day, you and your husband will have to live w/ the decision. I can’t wait to find out the sex of ya’ll baby and when you have him or her!! Anyway love ya! ~Venus

  2. #2 by Meggykate on January 15, 2012 - 4:54 am

    im proud of you’re a brilliantly genius woman, always have been.. .and avoiding drugs at all costs is always a great decision…and there’s a lot to be learned from a midwife..things to help you not only this go around but perhaps next time as well…if there so be one..i know i always learn more from another’s tried wisdom than any book..and all i gotta say about your thesis is so what? yknow? you can always make it better for later..enjoy your blessings, you’ve earned so happy you have them, be as giving, humble and hardworking, it warms my heart to see you happy =) love you girl!

  3. #3 by radical7even on January 16, 2012 - 4:23 pm

    You choices are your choices and while people have a right to share their opinions and choices, they don’t have a right to force them on you or try to make their choices yours. You have to do what’s best for you and yoru baby with yoru birthing plan. Every woman and pregnancy are different so every choice and option is valid. I proud of you for sticking to what you want to do and pray for you and the baby everyday. Good luck to you both!

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