The old adage about not seeing the forest for the trees? It seems I’ve been living it.
I am having trouble seeing the big picture. Lately, I have been seeing each small, sucky moment and focusing on each one. It’s easy to see the big pictures when I’m happy. I can see it clearly when I am with my friends. With them it is never hard to see the joy. Life is good for me. I have friends I trust, a family I love, coworkers that support me, a job that keeps me busy and challenged, and a variety of interest and hobbies that entertain me.
Despite all the stress at work and conflicts with people, I come home happier each day that I was just months ago. I’m not afraid every time I get a text message and have an anxiety attack about something at work. But it’s those daily stressful moments and conflicts away from the weekends that are clouding my judgment.
Each test calls from something different. Some times its patience, sometimes strength, sometimes understanding, sometimes forgiveness. I get too bottled up in each emotion (especially the anxiety). I get bogged down in each days little issues instead of the overall value of the day.
Maybe the test right now is just that-to see life for what it really is: a forest of days and that the forest means more than each tree.