So, first of all I wanted to apologized that I have not blogged in a while. I actually did it on purpose, because there has been some major changes in my life and I wanted everything to settle down before I blogged about it. After being called out on my lack of blogging, I realized that it was time break my silence.
Mentally and spiritually, I have gone through a lot of changes. I realized that it is time for me to settle down in life. I am not talking about marriage and starting a family, but settling down in making decisions in my life and sticking with them. Decision making is one of my flaws. I was horrible at making personal decisions for my life. I would always second guess myself, which meant that I did not have a lot of confidence in what I decided. After many years of straddling the fence, God said was finally time to make some decisions in my life. And after the type of year I had last year, I understood why. When you are not confident in your decisions, you tend to make other rash one to compensate for what you thought may not work out. That has gotten me into a lot of trouble in financially, emotionally, and all the other -ly too! This showed my lack of faith in God and in myself. Well, I decided that I wanted to trust God. Here are some of the things I entrusted to God.
1. Paying my bills. I don’t know how I am able to pay my bills, put gas in my car, buy groceries, eat out, go to movies, and still be able to shop with the pay I recieve. I have to give all the credit to God, because I know there were times I did not know where my help was going to come from. Though I could go to my mom for money, I hate asking for money from my mom. I feel that now that I am in my 20s, I should be fiscally responsible for myself. Though I have been able to make ends meet, I know that I need to make more of an effort to save money. Which brings me to Claries…
2. Since I have been working at Claires, I have spent a lot on accessories. I guess it is the 50% off that is so very tempting. I am working on denying the flesh when I see a new item I want to add to me collection. Which should not be hard because my last day at Claires is tomorrow. I am super excited! Though I am going to miss the people I work with, I wont miss the physcial pain I experienced after a long day. Plus, I want to get more experience in my field. Which leads to the next major decision in my life.
3. I decided that I want to pursue a creative career. After volunteering in the technology department doing photography and sound and video production, I realized that I could do this all day everyday. It feeds my creative spirit on so many levels. Something I have not experience since I was a kid. It comes so naturally, and I love every minute of it. I am not giving up in my culinary dream, I am just taking a detour. I don’t know where this decision will take me, but I will trust God and let Him lead the way.
I have to go on the record and give my testimony on faith. I names this blog “Don’t Worry, Be happy” because that is what I decided to do this year. Everyone who knows me knows that I put a lot into this career pursuing thing. I have sacrificed a lot for it, but it has caused me a lot of stress, heartache, and relationships. To be honest, I treat my career like a boyfriend. lol. It is horrible, I know! Though this is very hard for me, I had to let go. I was in such a frenzy about deciding on a career, that I start putting my career before God. A BIG NO NO!!! After realizing that God was not going to move in my life unless I start putting Him first, I knew I had to change. Sometimes, I wish I could be like Paul, not worrying about anything but taking my cares to God and letting Him work out all the details. I finally got my wish, because I realized that I am living that wish. Currently, I don’t know what is next, will I be able to cover all my bills, will I be able to by those cute jeans I saw online, or will I get my dream job. All I can do is take my cares to God, and let Him do the work. That is exactly what I did with Claire’s. On December 31, 2011, I told God that I needed a new job in my field by January 15, 2012, but I would not leave Claires until they found another manager. Both things happened before January 15. I did not stress it, I just believed. I applied to every job I could, while also passing out applications to candidates who may be qualified to be a manager. It use to be that I would stress when I left a decision in God’s hands… Constantly, reminding Him of what I needed or even wanted. I was stressing the magnitude of the mountain and not the power of God. Now, I know that faith is hoping in what I do not see, but taking whatever steps I can to accomplish the goal. No, I had no control over who hires me, but God does. I just had to fill out the applications. I have a new understanding of faith and about my heavenly Father. Life is good, and God is worthy to be praise!
Living it up like Paul,