Emotionally I have been more upbeat this week vs. where I was last week. I have started a new devotion and it’s been helpful in getting me to focus on the bigger picture and not getting so bogged down in the details. Overall, my main rad7even goal (if I had to break it down) is to learn to cultivate and maintain a closer relationship with God. That being said a relationship without trust isn’t a relationship at all. So, I have been working on not letting outside factors determine my peace level. I have no control over really anything, and every day I am here with my loved ones is a true gift. The day might not end how I think it should, but I trust that God has a much bigger reason.
Just like with my testimony. I’ve spent the last few months encouraging women; especially single mothers, I was ask to speak to a group of women, many of whom are single mothers as well because I am a “success story”. That sounds so wild to me, because I never imagined that I would talk to anyone about anything that I went through, because the journey here was not easy, but I thank God for it. I also recently wrote on a friend’s blog about the importance of valuing yourself and owning your sexuality. But after all this talk about my past I realized that 1) God has brought me so far and 2) maybe it’s time for me to stop looking back so much. I think my testimony is wonderful, I have a loving caring son and things between his father and I are what I would consider a testament to a working and functional co-parenting relationship. BUT I am so much more than a “single mother who has overcome” and God has so much more He is trying to do in my life, but I am so focused on warning other women or empowering other women that I sometimes neglect myself. So I have started back focusing on the dreams God has placed in my heart. Dreams of home and business ownership, dreams of just having more than what I currently see. I haven’t done so well on my budgeting (instead of buying food I’ve been buying books and educational DVDs for Daniel and myself..oops) but I am determined now that I feel conformation that this city will be my home to really put roots down right where I am. I realized that I have commitment issues, I see a good deal of where I am at as temporary. It’s why I haven’t had a relationship in almost 3 1/2 years. I am always looking to upgrade, but sometimes you have to grow with someone, grow into something..just like with my position at my job I’ve had to grow into some things.So..my new goal is to be a bit more committed…which will be hard LOL I am a natural DIY kinda girl…so let’s see what happens next