I have been missing posts, missing yoga, and mismanaging my dietary needs for the last couple of weeks. I’m fully submerged into my work at this point. My to-do list is constantly growing. At my best pace I’m only 1/3 of the way down each list before I have to put it on a fresh page. The sheer volume of the work is not daunting. It’s a lot like being a student. Something is always due. I can manage that type of stress.
The part I’m struggling with is the part all FSC’s (case workers contracted by DCF) have to learn to cope with… or quit. It’s kind of understood that some people can do this and some people can’t. It doesn’t matter if you’re a hard worker or a caring professional. What it all boils down to, this trial by fire, is basically if you can see, hear, and experience really messed up things and move past them with no tangible resolution or closure.
I’ve been getting cases that are a little more unpredictable than expected. Usually the supervisors give us easier cases to start with, just so we can get our feet wet before we dive in so to speak. My ‘easy’ cases tend to be full of surprises. I’ve only been out of training for a few weeks. I’ve already seen an abuse investigation that was seriously mishandled to the detriment of a child, had a mentally unstable and inebriated parent try to physically assault me (big thanks to the officer who stepped in and is now prominently displayed on my Rolodex), and receive nearly daily phone calls from a woman that would rather argue every detail of her ridiculously easy case plan than put in any effort towards improving herself as a parent. This and more is on my mind when I leave work.
My job, equally as important as my actual job, is to go home and mentally leave work behind. It’s difficult to do when I’m still trying to process what happened and am physically exhausted. I’m sure the hormones don’t help. I’m trying my best. I’m doing about as well as anyone at this point.
This weekend Nathan has really helped me take my mind off of work. I have been able at times to really relax. I think it’s going to take more time to really develop the skill of leaving work when I leave work. In the meantime I keep saying little prayers for the ability to do so. Any additional prayers you guys can spare will be appreciated. 🙂 I am doing a lot of good despite the difficulty of the job. I want to continue making a difference for the children I work with.
Lots of love to all!