Balance… ~Kelly

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I have been missing posts, missing yoga, and mismanaging my dietary needs for the last couple of weeks. I’m fully submerged into my work  at this point. My to-do list is constantly growing. At my best pace I’m only 1/3 of the way down each list before I have to put it on a fresh page. The sheer volume of the work is not daunting. It’s a lot like being a student. Something is always due. I can manage that type of stress.

The part I’m struggling with is the part all FSC’s (case workers contracted by DCF) have to learn to cope with… or quit. It’s kind of understood that some people can do this and some people can’t. It doesn’t matter if you’re a hard worker or a caring professional. What it all boils down to, this trial by fire, is basically if you can see, hear, and experience really messed up things and move past them with no tangible resolution or closure.

I’ve been getting cases that are a little more unpredictable than expected. Usually the supervisors give us easier cases to start with, just so we can get our feet wet before we dive in so to speak. My ‘easy’ cases tend to be full of surprises. I’ve only been out of training for a few weeks. I’ve already seen an abuse investigation that was seriously mishandled to the detriment of a child, had a mentally unstable and inebriated parent try to physically assault me (big thanks to the officer who stepped in and is now prominently displayed on my Rolodex), and receive nearly daily phone calls from a woman that would rather argue every detail of her ridiculously easy case plan than put in any effort towards improving herself as a parent. This and more is on my mind when I leave work.

My job, equally as important as my actual job, is to go home and mentally leave work behind. It’s difficult to do when I’m still trying to process what happened and am physically exhausted. I’m sure the hormones don’t help. I’m trying my best. I’m doing about as well as anyone at this point.

This weekend Nathan has really helped me take my mind off of work. I have been able at times to really relax. I think it’s going to take more time to really develop the skill of leaving work when I leave work. In the meantime I keep saying little prayers for the ability to do so. Any additional prayers you guys can spare will be appreciated. 🙂 I am doing a lot of good despite the difficulty of the job. I want to continue making a difference for the children I work with.

Lots of love to all!

-Kelly

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  1. #1 by Randi on April 2, 2012 - 1:29 am

    I’m so proud of you, kid. I can only imagine the things you have to see & hear every day. At least, you can find solace in the fact that your awareness of these awful situations helps to make sure that the children involved in the cases find a way out of them. It really helps to remember who you work for. You work for 1) God, 2) you & your beautiful new family and 3) the children and families that you help. Who signs your paycheck is irrelevant when you put it in that perspective. As far as leaving work at work, I think that’s something that we all struggle with but I’m sure it’s a good deal more difficult with a job like yours. Try flipping it all around and bringing a little bit of home to work, like bring something for lunch that you cooked with Nathan or keep little motivational mementos / pictures in your purse for the really rough days. I sure do love you, kid, and I’ll be praying for you. You’re my shero! 🙂

  2. #2 by radical7even on April 2, 2012 - 1:53 am

    Making a difference in one kid’s life is worth it. So proud of you for doing what so many cannot or will not. Praying God will give you a warrior’s strength to keep fighting for those kids and their families.

  3. #3 by Meggy on April 2, 2012 - 1:29 pm

    you really are an angel of this world dear, and know that you will be rewarded for all the hard work you put forth changing people’s lives for the better! its a lot of bullcrap to put up with in the office, but remember nothing lasts forever, and things like that will work themselves out and pass..stay positive -big hugs and much love-

  4. #4 by Renee N. Chaffin on April 2, 2012 - 4:18 pm

    HEy!! I can only imagine what that situation is like. Dealing with abuse and children’s cases is something I don’t think I could do simply because 1) I am a mother now and 2) i’ve always seen children as such special people…thank God they do have people who stand in the gap for them. Love you hun..prayers and postive thoughts your way

  5. #5 by radical7even on April 2, 2012 - 4:56 pm

    Praying for balance for you! I can’t imagine what it must be like working there. So much hope and promise and lots of disappointment. I pray for relief from the work thoughts when you get home, so you can continue to take care of yourself.
    Always sending love your way!
    ~Audrey

  6. #6 by Venus on April 4, 2012 - 6:01 am

    Hey Kels! I know that you’re making a difference is the cases you’re working on. I can understand how hard is to leave work behind when your cases are intense. I can’t believe a parent tried to assault you! Smh!! I’ll be keeping you in my prayers and kudos to your husband for helping you get your mind off work! ~Venus

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