where have you been??-Renee

I haven’t blogged in…about a month. Not because I don’t have things to blog about, but simply not sure how I feel about everything that’s going on around me. I am radically challenging myself on the issue of love. For the 4th of July holiday I went to see some family members that I haven’t really spoken to in almost 8 years. There were some issues that happened literally ten years ago and I have pretty much had a no to little mental contact order. So going back was my biggest challenge that I’ve had in quite sometime. I actually had a really good time. My son got to me the other side of his family and that was extremely important to me. I learned facing fears is vital important to growth, seeing something through the eyes of a child and then as an adult can be very different. This has been a real growth experience.
I’m also in a relationship..which I haven’t had one in about 4years. I am extremely happy,but its def a challenge to really practice unconditional love. If anyone knows me knows I can be…what’s the word….really its a phrase “too much”. I know how I like things, I know how I want things..the trick comes when you find someone you want to build a life with and try and mesh those two together. My faith is what helps me really put his needs before me and love even when I’m not getting everything on my checklist. I’m learning you shouldn’t really have a checklist..the I did this..he should do that, and consequences when someone doesn’t meet your standard. I fail to meet Gods standard daily…so how can I be harder on another imperfect person? Truth be told, I’ve always been that way..its why my relationships were few and far between.
But I believe where I am..is where I’m supposed to be. I just have to die daily. That has been tough for me..because I’ve never really worked on building a life with someone before..a family. Its been an amazing journey, no one really explained how rewarding and challenging it all would be. But I’m up for the challenge! 🙂 keep me in prayer
Champion, Renee

  1. #1 by Venus on July 7, 2012 - 8:13 pm

    Hey Nee!! I’m so glad you wrote a post!! I’m proud of you! I’m glad to your experience w/ your family turned out well and that you faced your fear! Praise God! \\o//<–That's a person with their hands raised if you didn't know..lol…I'm so glad that you're happy in your relationship! Last time I saw you, you were glowing when he was around! =) I feel on you on wanting things a certain way. I'm the same way! Kudos to you on learning to ditch that checklist (lol) and learning from mistakes you have made in other relationships!! I'm glad you're rising to the challenge! I'll continue to lift you up in prayer! =) Love you! ~Venus

  2. #2 by starsinhereye on July 10, 2012 - 3:23 am

    I love the bit about not having a checklist. I know it is something I need to work on (that and the fantasy of having a love affair like a movie LoL). I am so proud of your relationship growth and honored to be there to see it.
    I am so glad your trip went well! I know it’s important to you that Daniel gets to know his family. I am so glad you are able to overcome your fears to help him. You’re already doing unconfitional love! 😉

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