Radical7even is a challenge my best friends and I made to blog honestly about our personal/spiritual lives for 7 years. The primary goal (proposed by my girl Bey) was to make goals for each year and strive to meet them. Along the way the twists and turns our spiritual paths take will hopefully give us insight into how God is working on us and in our lives. This has also turned into a great way to keep up with each other (when we actually keep up with the blogging).
Well blogging weekly was not a goal I have met. My blogging has been sporadic at best. Luckily, my friends are a gracious, no pressure group. I’m picking up now where I left off. Life is GOOD. I am blessed. However, I am busy, sleep deprived, and shower less than I would like to admit–there’s the honesty. 😉
Having a new baby is the biggest blessing, but also a considerable responsibility. The mother-child relationship has taken on a new meaning for me now that I can identify with both roles. Spending time with Elias has changed my perspective on God’s love for us (with the whole parental love for mankind facet). I’m still coming to grips with how to pray for God’s protection over Elias, and still face the fact that bad things happen to people in this world every day with no visible heavenly intervention. I realize good things happen too. It’s just too hard to fathom that my precious child, the closest thing to perfection I’ve ever met, has to live in an imperfect world. Praying for God’s will in my child’s life requires a new level of trust that I honestly struggle with. I know God’s will is best, but what I want is for my child to skip the whole pain and struggle part of life. It’s irrational and would deprive Elias of the wisdom that comes with experience, but I can’t help wishing that he would experience only happiness in life. My whole world revolves around making him comfortable.
Anyway, I have all of these different trains of thought right now. I haven’t gotten to the ah-ha epiphany stage of the process. I’m just running around trying to take care of the baby and in the meantime I spend a lot of time lost in thought. I’m obviously a very analytical person–meaning I think way too much. 😛 Because having a baby does change everything, I am now rethinking absolutely everything. My mind is a jumble now of half-pondered topics interrupted every hour to two hours by breastfeeding or pumping.
This brings me to the main time consuming activity in my life. Trying to breastfeed successfully is not nearly as easy as some incredibly talented women make it look. Not only is there the learning how to hold the baby and help him get a good latch part, there is also the troubleshooting through Elias’ tongue tie situation. Luckily that is resolved. Now I feel like a slave to my boobs haha. I literally cannot go more than two hours without feeling that uncomfortable soreness of needing to feed or pump immediately. I would LOVE to forget about my boobs for one whole day, but that will not happen for quite a while. Again as with all parenting tasks, breastfeeding is still worth the effort when it works out. It feels good knowing I’m giving my child the best I can.
The picture at the top of this post is Elias right before I started writing this entry. My Mom is holding him so I could get a quick nap before taking the night shift–God bless her for it! Instead I decided to sacrifice this highly valuable opportunity to sleep in order to blog for the first time in a long time. This is my first lengthy emergence from the world of parenting, hence the title of this blog. As I type I hear Elias making little noises that may mean he is waking. On that note I leave you until next time.
Much love to all!