I Love it Much too Much ~Audrey

It’s one of those weeks where I had a post written and ready to post. But then I was inspired by something more timely. I did something radical last week, but to truly understand, you need a little background.

I love music. I have loved since I was a teenager. Music was the one thing that helped with my depression and pain. These days, even though I am more of a happy camper, I still love and depend on music to lift my mood. It can make a bad day better and can lessen my stress in most all situations. I have my favorite bands and artist and am very loyal to these people. They are like long distance friends.

One of my favorite bands is 100 Monkeys featuring the amazing Jackson Rathbone. I loved the eclectic style of their music and how much fun they were live. I attended many concerts, sharing the music with my closest friends and family. These nights were some of the most fun in my life. I got to meet the band, both swooning over Rathbone and later recovering to flirting. It was all great fun.

At work, I would put in my head phones and listen to “Orson Brawl” when I was stressed out by tasks. I would sing “Reaper” whenever I became nervous while riding. I used “Made of Gold” as an outlet of pain when I lost my dear Echo. My best friend and I are signing along in a live version of one of their CDs. And I got to meet one of the hunks I have drooled over.

Months ago I got the news that 100 Monkeys were loosing Rathbone and Jerad Anderson. But gossip quickly started. Anderson claimed he wasn’t leaving the band; he just taking a hiatus. Then when Rathbone was starting legal proceedings to make the band change their name more rumors started. But then the truth came out. The band had internal problems the whole time and people didn’t leave the band by their own choice. A new band was formed, Pink Fuzzy Animals but the drama didn’t stop there. That band continued to have issues while the 100 Monkeys Street Team and Fan Club basically went to war, airing out dirty laundry to the fans. In the end, I was tired of everyone and everything. I didn’t get into PFA. I had a hard time listening to 100 Monkeys music.

I don’t like change and never wanted to loose my band. Slowly, I started listening to the music again without sadness. Then last week I realized that I was ok. They were gone but not forgotten. I pulled the 100 Monkeys Street Team magnet off my car. I still share their music with others, wear my shirts, and still have all my posters up. But I can’t be in a street team for a band that does not exist. This was a radial moment for me, to let go.

When I posted on the fans pages, some fans were supportive. Others didn’t say directly say I was crazy, but they talked about how they would never take off their magnet yadda yadda yadda. While I do not tell other how to grieve, I know that there are not as far in the process as I am. I was saddened by the lack of acceptance. I am not leaving 100 Monkeys behind, I am just forward.

So I was radical and was able to see the truth about the band:  they were a great band whose music still makes me happy but no longer exist. The members all have other projects and it’s time to support those.

As for the rest of the week, I did well on several of my goals, getting into good patterns. So I’m working on goals and did something radial. I’m having a good week!

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  1. #1 by Venus on September 18, 2012 - 6:02 am

    Hey Audrey! I hate that the band you love is no longer a band! UGH to all that drama!! Why would someone name a band Pink Fuzzy Animals? lol..I’m just saying! I’m glad you were able to let go! Love you! ~Venus

  2. #2 by radical7even on September 19, 2012 - 4:08 pm

    This is a great post Audrey. I think some people get stuck in patterns and situations because they can’t simply grieve and move to a different place. It was great for you to use this opportunity as learning lesson.

    _Danielle G.

  3. #3 by Renee N. Chaffin on September 21, 2012 - 3:04 pm

    Hey lady, thanks for sharing with us. I love the fact that you have so many wonderful memories and decided to do what was best for you in your moving on phase. Everyone handles situations differently and it’s awesome that you moved forward despite some not being supportive

  4. #4 by kdcromer on October 1, 2012 - 5:59 am

    This is sad, but I’m proud of you grieving in a healthy way. It’s hard to believe they were having problems all along, when they had such great stage chemistry. I guess the image people portray can be very different than what’s going on behind the scenes. We’ll always have the memories. 🙂 Love ya!

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