In Limbo and Lost ~Venus

Hey everyone!! Have you ever been on a road trip or heading somewhere and then all of sudden you get lost? You where quite sure where you were going but then you may have taken a wrong turn somewhere and you end up being lost. You try to find your way to your destination. In the midst of finding your way, you become worried and stressed. You also become anxious of not getting to where you need to be on time. I say all that to say that that’s where am in my life. Hence, the name of this post.

I have to admit that I’ve been in limbo for a while now. It’s not a fun place to be! I’m trying to figure everything out in my life especially career wise. I’m afraid to take the “leap of faith” with applying to jobs (also learning I have to take the leap of faith with other areas in my life). I haven’t been on top of that goal as much as I should be. My HIS have been on me! I appreciate that ya’ll care so much to check on me to make sure I’m doing what I suppose to do! I’ve received a challenge from my friend Gem to finish my application for a job by the end of the week and apply to the job. I definitely want to prove to myself that I can do this! I know that applying to a job might sound so simple but it’s not that way for me. I have my fears…What if I apply to a job and I don’t get a call back? What if I get a call back for interview but don’t get the job? What if I get the job and I don’t have transportation to the job? What if I don’t have the experience for the job? I know a lot of questions right? This is how I think..lol..I’m an OVERTHINKER!

Last year, God revealed a little bit of my purpose to me. I really want to know what the rest of my purpose is. I feel lost because I don’t know all of it. I don’t want to spend my life doing a job that I hate/dislike. I want to do something that I love that is in my field. It seems like when God talks to me, he talks to me in bit and pieces. It’s like getting puzzle piece to a bigger puzzle. I get frustrated with God sometimes {GASP! lol!} I be like God can you please let me know SOMETHING, ANYTHING! LOL! Someone told me that teachers don’t talk to you during your test. In the way that teachers do that, God also does the same when you’re going through your test. It’s after the test he will talk to you. Yeah marinate on that..lol..That was so deep right? lol!

I guess you can say I’m also in my limbo when it comes to romantic relationships. I had a guy asked me out on a date a 2 weeks ago via text. First, that’s a turn off for me  (lol)  but anyway I told him I would get back with him about it. He asked me out on a Wednesday. I contacted him on that Thursday (the following day he asked me out) to let him know that I would go out on a date with him and I let him know my availability. I also contacted him again the day after that (that Friday), no response. I didn’t hear back from him until two days later (that Saturday) another turn off. lol! He told me why he didn’t get back to me the day I contacted him. He told me that he was in the process of moving and that he has been busy. So after that I decided to give him a 2nd chance and be understanding. Last week I talked to him a little bit, I contacted him  a few days ago to let him know when I was available to go on date on last Friday. I haven’t heard back from  the dude. So in my mind NEXT! lol! I’m sorry I don’t have time for foolishness right now. If I contact a guy to let him know when I’m available, I expect to be contacted the same day or within 24 hrs. I don’t have time for games and for people who aren’t consistent. My time is important! I bet he is going contact me before the month is out and be like I’m so sorry blah blah. Dude already has 2 strikes. 3 strikes and he is out! lol. I know that might sound mean but I know what I want and again I don’t have the time. I sure don’t have the patience for this mess. lol!

I’m trying my best to be open towards dating..lol..I know I’m a piece of work lol! I know right now that I’m not ready for a relationship. I just want to chill and work on myself. However, I do want to get to know a guy that I’m interested in or may have interest in me. I’m learning to take the time to really get to know someone before I make any moves. Also to pray about getting into a relationship with anyone instead of “jumping in” based on emotions. Please keep me in your prayers! Much love and God bless!

~Venus

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  1. #1 by Renee N. Chaffin on October 24, 2012 - 11:31 am

    What I am learning is “prayer is the key to heaven, byt faith unlocks the door” we all have fears. We all have things we can’t see. I say this all the time when I got pregnant with daniel I had nothing to prepare me for a baby. I could only see my low paying job, the fact I still lived at home. BUT I told God I trust You enough to not have it all figured out. If you get the job a way will happen for you just like it did for me and all of HIS. The beautiful thing about rad7even is this you have a written copy of our ups and downs. No ones had it perfect, but God worked it out perfectly. All those “overthinking” moments are just us, and I mean us I’m the same way, playing God. We must take the first step sometimes before the rest will be revealed. Love you!

  2. #2 by Venus on October 25, 2012 - 5:11 am

    Hey Nee! Thanks so much for your words of encouragement! I appreciate you sharing your story about being pregnant w/ Daniel. I know that since God made a way for you and your son also w/ everyone in HIS, he will make a way for me! Reading everyone’s stories on how God changed their situations around for the better gives me strength and hope. I agree with what you said about the overthinking moments. I know I’m taking “baby steps” to get where I need to be..lol..I didn’t think taking the baby steps would be so hard! Love you too and thanks so much for being there for me!

  3. #3 by starsinhereye on October 28, 2012 - 3:05 am

    I am proud of you for moving forward. One way to think about the jobs is this: you currently have a job that pays bills, so this is a job that is more about your purpose. Take a breath and wait and see what God tells you about yourself. It’s not always what we think. But you’re right, if you don’t get out there and apply you won’t get anything! I liek that you are stepping up! Love you!
    ~Audrey

  4. #4 by Venus on October 28, 2012 - 6:16 am

    Hey Audrey! That’s a good perspective (job regarding purpose)! Yes, I will wait to see what he says. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and pushing me!! Love you too!

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