Archive for December, 2012
Hello everyone! So this yr is almost over! Wow, I can’t believe it! The year has really flown by! I’m hoping that next yr will be a lot better for me because this yr has been rough for me! Anyway below is my progress on my goals.
1.) To get a job in my field.
Well I haven’t got a job in my field yet. =( I have been job searching so that’s a start. I’ve only applied to one job. I haven’t heard back from them. I think that I could be doing better on this goal as far as applying for more jobs.
2.) To get my permit and hopefully a driver’s license.
I haven’t progressed on this goal. I had a permit but it expired. I got it renewed once and I can’t renew it anymore. So that’s why I have to get a new one. Next year I plan on studying for the test so I can get my permit. Then I can practice my driving skills.
3.) To discover my life’s purpose by spending time with God through reading the bible, prayer, and fasting.
Well I still don’t know what my full life purpose is. However, I will say that God has been giving me a little bit more clarity and direction. Somehow I came across this book called Process to Your Purpose: Living Through Your Passions by Chante Truscott. She has a page called Wives in Waiting on Facebook. She also a website http://www.wivesinwaiting.com
Anyway I’m not exactly sure how I came across her book. I read a little bit of her testimony. On Amazon, it lets you look inside the book and read very limited parts of the book. The part of the book I read was how God blessed her with a job she wasn’t qualified for. A few weeks ago, the director of the clinic I volunteer at, told me her testimony of how God gave her visions of where she would be working at in her life. Everything at the time didn’t make sense to her. As time passed, everything began to come together. She told me how she went from working in the corporate world in IT to being the director of a small clinic. You may ask where I’m going with this? My point of mentioning both scenarios is that God is giving me bits and pieces to my purpose. I’ll be glad when everything comes all together. OAS: I plan on making myself a vision board! =) I think it will be a good way to encourage myself.
4.) To have to College Transition Program up and running by next year.
I have ideas for the program but I’m still trying to figure out how to get it off the ground. So I guess I can say I have some progress towards this goal.
5.) To go on dates whether it’s by myself or w/ guys.
Well I haven’t went on any dates w/ any guys. I haven’t been on date w/ a guy since the beginning of this yr and that was when I was in a relationship (I’m not in a relationship now). =( I can’t believe it’s been 9 months and 1 day since I’ve been single! WOW! Anyway I have been hanging out with my friends. Last week, one of my closest girlfriends visited me. She spent the night for 2 nights. I was so happy! I be so happy when people visit me because it rarely happens…lol.
I hardly have company. I also got to hang out w/my HIS this year so that was pretty cool. I also hung out w/ my best friend quite a bit. She lives in the same area I do so that makes me very happy! =) I know what I mentioned hanging out with my female friends aren’t dates but it makes me happy when I’m around my friends. I haven’t been on a lot of dates w/ myself. I don’t take myself out much..lol…I need to work on that. It seems like taking myself out is running errands..lol..
I do enjoy myself when I read books, catch up on my tv show, watching Youtube vids, reading an article, or reading a book. Spending time w/ myself is refreshing. I have the time to chill. OAS: I have to work on spending more this w/ God. I’m happy to say that I have read 1st 2nd Chronicles, 1st/2nd Kings, Jeremiah, Isaiah, and 1st/2nd Samuel (I have 3 or 4 more chapters to go on 2nd Samuel and I’ll be done). I have learned a lot from reading those books!
6.) To learn new recipes!
I haven’t really learned many new recipes. I’m learning now that I have plan ahead w/ recipes that I want to try. On Thursday, I made pigs in a blanket. I never made them before. Here is a pic of how they turned out:
7.) To learn how to do my natural hair.
A few weeks ago, I perfected the Janelle Monae inspired hairstyle that I’ve been wanting to try. It took me a while to learn how to do it. I have to learn some more hairstyles now! =)
God bless! Have a HAPPY SOON TO BE NEW YR EVERYONE!
P.S. Happy Early B-Day to my girl Renee! Her B-Day is tomorrow! =) Love you Nee! I hope that this post didn’t sound like I was rambling. lol! I think I rambled on goal 5..lol..A lot of times when I write, I think of multiple things. That’s how my brain works!
Hello everyone! I want to start this post discussing some of the radical moments I had this month. One of my Radical7even goals is to learn how to do my hair in natural hairstyles. If you’re like me, you know how to do a few things w/ your hair. All I know how to do is flat iron my hair, twist outs, bantu knots, and put my hair in a ponytail (lol). For a few weeks I been trying to copy Janelle Monae’s hairstyle. I have watched a few Youtube (YT) tutorials about it and also french roll tutorials.
In the beginning when I began trying out the hairstyle, I could figure out how to do the pompadour but not the french roll. I was getting frustrated because I couldn’t figure out how to it. It seem like every YT video I watched about french rolls seemed so easy, but when I tried to do it it was a fail. If you’re like me, when it comes to hair you’ll need a SLOW video that will go step by step so you can learn. I finally came across this YT vid that made it easy for me to learn how to do a french roll: . On Dec. 12th, I finally perfected the hairstyle! I was so HAPPY!! I got the pompadour right and the french roll! I was like YAY I did it! Here is a pic of my pomadour:
I couldn’t get a good pic of my french roll because the camera on my phone sucks..lol..For my pompadour, I parted I did side parts on the right and left of the front of my hair. So I had like a square box of hair..lol..I twisted my hair loosely to the right. Shaped it how I wanted it and then pinned it down w/ hairpins.
Another radical moment I had was eating an oyster. On Friday, Dec. 14th I had went out to eat w/ my dad and half brother. My dad took us out to eat to celebrate my half-brother’s birthday (his birthday was on Dec. 16th. He turned 33. Anyway my dad ordered oysters for his appetizer. I never had oysters before. He told me to try it and I had a like eww I don’t want that look on my face..lol..I finally tried it. I picked the smallest oyster I saw and ate it..lol…I put my oyster on a cracker w/ cocktail sauce on top of it. It was ok but it’s not something I would eat on a regular basis.
The last radical moment I had this month was painting my toe nails. I know to most ppl that isn’t radical..lol..Anyone that knows me, know that I’m not a “girly girl”. I don’t usually paint my fingernails and toenails. I haven’t painted them I don’t know how long. I painted my toe nails last week on Dec. 21st. I painted my toe nails 5 different colors on each foot just in a different order. The colors I used were yellow, red, green, lime green, and white. On Friday, Dec. 7th, I went to my job’s Christmas party. We had a raffle for prizes. I picked my gift and I chose a gift basket that had “girly stuff” in it like different nail polishes, a PediSpin, massaging slippers, a lavender candle, lavender bath beads, a nail buffer block, small lotion, a small size perfume, a small size both wash, Caress soap, glimmer gloves, a bath puff, and nail polish remover. You may ask why I stated that..lol..Basically the nail polish I used came from the gift basket..lol..Here is a pic of my toenails:
The last pic I’m posting in this post is a pic of the fishtail braid I did on my doll’s hair last month. Yes, I have a doll…lol..She is the only doll I have. I had her since high school. She is a Bratz doll and her name is Sasha.
The last radical moment I had this month was applying for food stamps. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t want to apply for them even though it’s been on my mind on a while to apply for them. I got approved for them! Yay! Praise God! I hope that I won’t have to be on them no longer than a yr (hopefully less than that). The reason why I applied for them is because I usually don’t have a lot of money for food after I pay bills. My mom helps me out w/ food from time to time but I don’t want to depend on her any longer for that. However, if she does offer to assist me w/ food I will accept.
Ok so now all the radical moments are the way, let’s get into what the 2nd half of my post is about. As you can see the title of this post is How Can I Look Ahead? The reason why I named my post that is because that’s a question that I’ve been asking myself. This month has been rough for me. I was laid off from my job on Dec. 7th. Financially I’m not doing so great but I’m praying that God will work everything out..especially since my rent is due next week. I recently filed for unemployment so I’m hoping that money will come through before my rent is due.
Right now, I feel like I’m in a valley/storm and I want it to be over. Have you ever been in place where your circumstances make it hard to look forward to a better future or you can’t see how you you’re going to get out of your situation? Well that’s where I am right now. I want a better life for myself. I want to be a better place financially (more stability). I get tired of living from paycheck to paycheck..Overall, worrying about money. I want to have a better paying job and a job that I love. I want to have my driver’s license and a car. I want my own apt by myself w/o roommates. I want a lot of things that I don’t have right now. I guess you can say that I’m trying to figure out what I can do to get where I want to be. Basically how to get from point A to point B. I have a life coach that is assisting me w/ that. =) I know that I will get there soon but in the meantime, I have to keep pushing to get where I would like to be. Please keep me in ya’ll prayers and leave me words of encouragement below. God bless!
P.S. I watched Joel Osteen’s message “God’s Control Over the Storm”. It really blessed me tonight. I will have another post done by this week so I can have my Dec. posts done. =)
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. Christmas shopping for all the people on my list..trying to budget for new people on the list. Trying to plan how my future hubby and I are going to spend our first few years of life together…and on top of that job hunting..
I think I have written before how much I love my job. I didn’t realize how much I loved my job until the possibility of leaving it became reality. My love and I live in two different cities and we decided that it would be best for me to move to where he is. That was all fine and dandy until I went back out into the employment hunting field. I have been blessed and slightly spoiled since college. I have worked in my field during and after college and God has blessed me to continuously move up without any hiccups. BUT moving to a new city where I don’t know anyone has been a challenge in this employment world and honestly yesterday I was so down about it. I have years of experience I am a quick learner..but when someone is looking at a summary of your life in a one-to-two page resume’ getting that across can be quite difficult. I honestly haven’t seen that many jobs that I am even interested in applying for. I am not trying to sound snobbish or stuck up, but it’s hard to think of me leaving a job that I love for a job that would help pay bills. Yes, I would be with my love starting a new life together, but the possibility of not finding THE job is freaking me out. I have never been one to follow my heart..never. And to know that I am getting readyto change my entire life for love is mind boggling to me, because the early 20s Renee` was not having it LOL. But here I am at the cusp of 26 getting ready to not only take the plunge of marriagehood, but also moving away from a place I’ve called home the last 12 years….if you do the math that’s almost have of my life. I am comfortable here…but see that’s the problem. I have grown as much as I can here and that is becoming more and more apparent as days continue on. How will I realize my full potential until I actually take a risk. And this risk is calculated. I am marrying a man who sees me as his teammate; who only wants the best for the both of us.
God also reminded me that I have been going about this job thing all wrong. Ive been doing this the world’s way..sending out resumes and cover letters and going on interviews…BUT not praying about the actual job that HE wanted me to have. Sure I prayed over interviews, but I haven’t been in prayer about where HE wants me to be. Like when God moved Abraham to a new country..He had a plan for him. I need to seek God’s plan before I seek an office title.
Following the Master,
Thirty is an age that most people take stock of their life and, more often than not, find they aren’t where they thought they would be. I truly thought at 30 I would be married and have children. This thought made me momentarily sad. But then I remember just how awesome I was. I am a Program Director already; I have a family that loves me, a close knit group of friends, and a boyfriend that makes me re-think men as a gender. I don’t think I would have necessary had these things had I gone another route. I am thankful for what I have here and now.
Before I reached 30, my body knew it was coming. I’ve put one a good bit of weight but in the right places. I am muscular but also have some rounded out curves. I now have ample curves top and bottom and my hip bones no longer stick out. This is great because I was worried about falling and having no cushion. I love my “woman” body.
So to make sure I continued my journey into being a woman optimistically, I asked my HIS girls to plan my birthday festivities. I told them to surprise me. They know me well and I trust them with my life. So I went about in oblivion and let my girls plan the celebrating for me. As a recovering control freak, this was very relaxing to me! I knew God put the right ideas into their hands.
My girls outdid themselves! They lined up a real Red Carpet Affair! They hired a car to take Jason and me to my favorite restaurant Ming’s Garden. I had dinner with some of my favorite people on the planet. Then my closest friends and I headed to the Renascence for a girl night out. I had some friends who could not physically be there but was there in spirit. I knew each person was attending because they truly cared for me. These people took up three tables and four beds! I am very rich indeed!
I have been blessed to have some of the best people in my life. I have been blessed with several wonderful babies that I love even if they aren’t mine. God made clear to me that night that 360 was nothing but a number and that I had accomplished a lot in my short life. I still have a lot of time to achieve so much in my life. I cannot let society tell me where I should be or why. God will tell me when it’s my time.
I am not sure if I have discussed this before, but I do believe some dreams have meaning. For me, it has to be a reoccurring dream for me to take note OR be so vivid and clear that I have no choice but to take note. Example, if someone in my life is pregnant, I will usually have a dream about babies or fish three nights in a row. That confirms that I need to be looking at stomachs. (Weird, I know!) If it is something serious, like someone is about to pass away, the dream will wake me up right then and there. Hopefully, you get the point.
Since childhood, I’ve had this reoccurring dream about me free-falling. I am very afraid of free-falling, to the point that I use to wake up in sweat. I would never rides roller coaster with this concept, especially the one at Six Flags over GA. I rode it once and had a panic attack. Right before I started this radical seven journey, I had another free fall dream. Freaked out, I begged God to show me what does this dream mean. It was about trust and taking risk. I did not really trust God with my life. I made really safe decision for my life because I was afraid to fail. Making safe decisions, I knew I would succeed at what I was doing. But God wanted more for me. So, I decided to trust Him and ask for more. It has not been an easy road, but I have made some decisions to change some things in my life. I planted the seeds, now I am waiting for the harvest. A few weeks ago, I had this same dream. Free falling in the sky, heading towards I don’t know, but I was determined that it was time to embrace this dream for what it was. Embrace it I did! In the middle of falling, I started flying. WHAT? My fear kept me in a panic state preventing me from discovering that I could fly. Wow! All of this time I spent in fear with my life, I was preventing myself from living an awesome life. To live my destiny. To be bold. To soar like an eagle.
Upon making my decision to take more risks in my life and trust God with the outcome, I started having another reoccurring dream: Disaster everywhere!!! I promise, I could be driving down the road in my dream and next thing you know fire starts consuming building and the buildings start to fall. Or massive tornadoes surround me. At first, I thought it may be something I ate before bed, but these dreams started reoccurring. I finally have revelation last night. The disaster everywhere dreams represented my life. For almost three years, I have been going through storm after storm. Things kept coming up and I felt hopeless many times. Where do I go? Will I survive? Well, in my dream last night, I was surrounded by tornadoes. I kept changing directions about which way to go. I ended up in a car accident (which happened in real life back in March). I ran here and there, but I was tired exhausted, bruised and hurt. Next thing you know, I was being comforted. Someone held me and kept telling me it is going to be okay. The storm is almost over.
I cannot tell you how comforting that dream was. The tornadoes did eventually cease and the sun came out. Trust me, the other dreams did not end this way. Those dreams were more like cliff-hangers… What’s going to happen next? But last night, it all came full-circle. I do feel a sense of relief now. It does feel like my storm is almost over and that life will start looking up again. I have changed directions with my life plenty of times. Though many people said I was confused, it was just God trying to get me on the right path. I do have divine purpose, and that is what I want for my life.
Many people look at my life and say wow! When I look at my life, I sigh a sense of relief, because I have gone through hell and high water just to get to this place in my life. It has not been n road at all. But I am grateful for my life story because it has made me who I am today and I am not ashamed about it. Do I still have many things to work on, yes! But to know, that I have someone to comfort me during the storm, and have that reassurance, wow! I haven’t heard from God in while, but I am hoping that this is a sign that He is about to speak mightily in my life and change things for the better. I definitely need a word right now!
If you are going through a major storm right now, or going through several back-to-back storms, know that God is with you. If you are alive, God is with you! It is never easy going through storms. Even ones that last for years… Trust me, I know! But be assured it is for a purpose. You may be broken, bruised, battered, betrayed, but God can use your war-wounds to tell a mighty story for His glory and bless you infinitely because of it! Stick in there, it is almost over! I love you all. Be blessed!
Bruised but blessed,
2012 has gone by so fast and has brought about many changes.
-New job opportunities: teacher, photographer, and now my favorite… Case manager.
-I am grateful for the many people you have crossed my path. I hope I have been a blessing in their lives just as much as they have been a blessing to me.
-I survived a terrifying car accident. Though I still have some back pain, I grateful to be alive and to speak about it.
I can go on and on about the many blessings God has bestowed upon, but I also have to share what lessons I have learned.
1. Be careful of the company you keep. This lesson become more important in my life as I get older.
2. Just because people call on the ne of God, doesn’t mean they really serve Him. This lesson is also a self check lesson to make sure I’m living in accordance with Gods word.
3. Don’t take things to personal.
4. People are only human.
5. If you want something, ask for it and really mean it. The worse thing they can say is no.
6. Don’t get mad when you get a no answer. Lol.
7. Life is about balance and boundaries….
Part 2 of my post will lead into the New Year. So, until then. Happy Holidays!
This past weekend I was able to go to New Orleans to attend my first comic convention. This is big for me. I hate, hate, hate big crowds of people. I feel like I will get lost in the crowd and be separated from those I am with. This happened to me a few times before as a joke, and it becomes a fear. Plus I have some social fear so strangers scare me. But this trip tempted me with the promise of meeting one of the people on the Heroes for my Children list and the hot guys from The Walking Dead.
I went with my boyfriend for my first real vacation in a while. (Yes you read that sentence correctly. Mark one goal off my list!) There was a situation at work, but I promised myself I would still go. I deserve this time for myself. For the first part of the three day convention, I stuck close to the two people I was with but, by the third day, I was comfortable enough to walk around on my own while I got my “stalk” on. (It seems buying comics can get boring real fast). I attended panels and got autographs from Eliza Dushku (read why I love her here: https://radical7even.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/heroes-for-my-children-part-4audrey/ ) and Jon Bernthal. Norman Reedus brushed past me, and I got in an elevator that should have been Stan Lee’s. I slept in the same hotel as Michael Rooker and got to see most of the Star Trek the Next Generation cast. Even the Green Power Ranger was there. Talk about my childhood come to life!
Traveling with people is also a trust issue. Hey, drive my car. Hey, don’t kill me in my sleep. Hey, let’s not get sick of each other and fight. Hey, you need to leave a little later? Sure. It doesn’t mean we’re not going (this has happened to me before). Trust is an issue I have fought with. It was also a big deal with the goal to move to a caring relationship. I needed a man I could trust to treat me nicely, do what he says, and not leave me in a crowd of thousands of people.
I got a lot out of this weekend –more than just autographs. I got a fabulous life experience and worked on being radical. I took time off and took care of my own health needs, and I feel all the better for it.
<————————Not my boyfriend
This is my boy friend ——————————>