1st Year of Singleness ~Venus

Hello everyone! On Sunday, April 28th it made a yr that I’ve been single. Last year I broke up with the boyfriend I had. We were together for a yr and almost 3 months. I just thought it was best for me to walk away. I wasn’t getting what I needed in the relationship. Breaking up with him was a very hard decision. I honestly didn’t see a solution to our problems and it seemed as if things were getting worse. So I prayed about it, talked to my girls about it, and broke up with him. After we broke up, I was depressed and miserable for a while. It took a while for me to accept my singleness and get in a good place.

Let me be honest, I really didn’t think that I would make it being single..lol! I know that might sound really silly but stay with me for a moment. I thought being single was kind of a bad thing at first. It took while for it to sink in that I was no longer in a relationship. I thought that being in a relationship was hard but being single is hard too. lol!  The hardest thing for me right now is loneliness. Dealing w/ it has gotten better since I try to keep myself occupied but I do have my moments when I want to be around a man as in chill or go on  a date. I dealt w/ loneliness when I was in a relationship since it was a long distance one but I think my loneliness got worse when I became single. I have to pray that God help me to overcome my loneliness. I know not too long after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend that I found myself being vulnerable. I got caught up in a situation that I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be in. You know how sometimes you get into situations that you try to justify what is going on? As if it is ok when you know it is wrong? Well I was in that kind of situation. I had to repent and distance myself a little bit from that person.

Anywho I think that I’ve become a lot closer to God since I’ve been single. I found a few ministries that are directed towards women that are single such Wives in Waiting (it’s for single, engaged, and married women) and Single, Ready and Waiting (it’s also open to men). I also found another ministry called Sacred Soaring Singles (it’s also opened to men) through my mentor’s page. On Sunday, Sacred Soaring Singles had a teleconference call and it was awesome! I learned so much from being on the call. The speaker Apostolic Administrator Sandra Russell talked about having heavenly wisdom. At the end of the call, it was open to comments and questions. I had opened up and talked about me being celibate (mainly how difficult it was to deal with it and trying to date). I got a lot of good advice from the speaker and the host of the call Rhonda White.  Some of the advice they gave me was to pray, to read the bible, and to be creative (keep myself occupied). That’s just some of the advice they gave me. I love how transparent they were with me and I never personally met them! I also get on teleconference prayer calls when I can and I watch church services online from Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral out of Austell, GA.

I’ve seen a lot of growth within myself over the yr. I’m working on myself daily and doing my best to work on the areas that I’m weak in. My life coach helps me out a lot as well as my friends w/ my goals. I desire to be a wife one day but before I can be a wife to someone else, I have to learn how to be a wife to God.  I’m getting myself in order and focusing on what I need to do. Dating for me has been difficult. Let’s just say things haven’t been going well in that department..lol..I only went on two dates. Well the 1st one, I don’t consider as a date because the guy and I went to a watch night service at his church last yr. The other date I went on was at Veggies to Go in March. It was ok but it was a short one because he had to go pick up his son. Me and him still talk though. I was supposed to go on a date a few weeks ago but I got stood up. Smh! So I don’t know if and when I’m going on any more dates..lol. A part of me wants to give up because the dudes that have come to me are like “no’s”! lol! When I tell guys that I’m celibate they usually don’t understand it or don’t want to talk to me. God has been showing the character of those that have been talking to me. It’s like every time I turn around the guy seems  cool but then I start seeing him for who is. I be like God WHY? Lol! I have been praying for God to show me the character of every guy that comes in my life. I don’t have time for any guy and their foolishness! I hope that I will be in a relationship 1 day when the time is right. I want my next relationship to lead towards marriage. I just don’t have any time to be wasting on someone who is not my future husband. I’m just saying! God bless!

~Venus

P.S. I cooked stir fry on Sunday. I made sweet and sour chicken stir fry w/ fried rice. That was my 1st time making it and it turned out really good! I’m so proud of myself! I’m trying to learn how to cook more things. I really dislike cooking (lol) but I get tired of eating the same things so the only way to learn is to look up recipes and just do it! Last Monday when I went to the clinic, the director gave me a candle and a praise/worship CD for being 1 of the top 10 volunteers at the clinic last yr. I was surprised! I was like AWESOME in my happy dance! lol!

I got a new phone last week. I have the iphone4. I got it for free for my upgrade but I had to pay $30 since I got my phone after my upgrade date. My upgrade was in February. I was debating whether or not to get a new phone being that I’m going to be out of work for a little bit. Also I didn’t want to pay extra money on my cell bill but I hardly buy myself anything or do anything nice for myself. So I was like I’m just going to pay the extra money for the data plan and get a new phone. It took me a while to figure out my new phone because I never had a smartphone before. The phone I had before my new one was the Samsung Intensity II. I hated that my phone’s memory would get full all the time with texts. So that’s why I got a new phone. I been waiting for a new phone for a minute so I finally got one.  It seems like I have bad luck w/ dropping phones. Smh! I dropped my new phone like 4 or 5 times already. Smh! It has 3 scratches on it. I didn’t think that I was going to drop it at all. I ordered a case for it so it should I get it before the week is out. I’m thinking now that I should had ordered my case  the same day when I ordered my phone.

OAS: I got picked for the summer camp for my job so yay I got a job for the summer! OAS: I finally was successful at detangling my hair on Sunday! WOO HOO! I usually detangle my hair in 4 sections but this time I detangled it in 8. I think the smaller sections helped out a lot! Now I’m able to actually pull the comb through my hair! lol!

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  1. #1 by starsinhereye on May 2, 2013 - 4:34 pm

    So excited for your Radicalness in being single! You really can get closer to God that way and learn a lot about yourself. Once you are closer to God and yourself, I am sure he will lead you to your soul mate!
    ~Audrey

  2. #2 by Venus on May 2, 2013 - 9:01 pm

    Thank you Audrey Bear! I know that you can relate to me since you used to single for a while. I think it’s easier to get closer to God because you don’t have so many distractions. Well I hope that God will send my soulmate soon because honey, I’m tired of these lames! lol! Love you! ~Venus

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