If all continues going well, I will soon have the honor of growing a baby for a couple of excellent parents to be. They are in a loving, committed marriage. They are kind. They are successful. They are fantastic with children. They have a wonderful support system. Most people I have talked to, and everyone who has met them, are happy for our plans to turn this couple I am absolutely in love with into a family.
My parents to be are unapologetically gay. This is who they are. This is the way they were born. This is their life. Being gay is not a choice; it is an identity. Falling in love with another person is not a choice; it is a gift. Embracing who you are and actively caring for the person you love is a choice. It is the choice that lights up our world.
I am blessed to have them in my life. I am honored to help them create a new life which I will nourish and grow and they will cherish and guide.
Now how do I explain this to people I care about who disagree. People who, like myself, were raised in conservative Christian churches and were able to maintain a black and white perspective? How do I share my excitement and plans with people who believe homosexuality is an abomination, when I know that love is the reason for every good thing in this world? Love is love. How do I explain that to people who see gender and manner or intercourse rather than the everyday beauty in one person devoting their life to another? The answer is I don’t.
At least I haven’t until now. I promised my HIS girls that I would share my spiritual journey openly through this blog. I do not blog as often as planned, but I have stayed open in my posting. So here it goes. If you want to understand me or my life at this point, here I am for you in open book format.
I grew up thinking the Bible should be interpreted literally. I refused to use the intelligence and convictions God gave me, because I wanted to agree with my church leaders and adults I respected. It felt wrong. It made no sense. Eventually, I could not force myself any longer to believe that people were abominations to God simply for loving another person. Much in the same manner, I cannot believe slavery is acceptable just because it is condoned in the Bible. I cannot believe women should be subservient to men and shouldn’t speak in church because it is in the Bible. I cannot believe one person is lesser than another person simply because of an arbitrary demographic. Jesus did not preach that. Jesus taught about equality and tolerance. I read the Bible through twice and studied the controversial passages countless times over. The parts of the Bible that resonate with me and feel entirely valid intellectually and emotionally are the direct quotes from Jesus. Regardless of what denomination or theology is correct, this is the basis of my spiritual journey with God. This is the basis of my Christian walk. I pray many times throughout the day and try to walk with God. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed for his guidance in my thoughts and emotional experiences. This is where I have been led and this is where I feel strong and peaceful.
I hope to be part of helping a stable, entirely prepared, and loving couple start their family. I will not entertain conversations with people who judge this couple based on their gender.
If you are supportive of the journey I am embarking upon with my beautiful, kind parents-to-be, you are dearly appreciated. I am going to surround myself and the child I plan to grow with your positivity and love. Keep the prayers and thoughts coming our way. On June 10th we will be in Miami for the first and hopefully last IVF embryo transfer. We are trying for twins, buy may have one baby. Wish us luck!
All my love,
P.S. A special thanks to my friends and family who don’t share my perspective, but encourage and support me regardless.