12 See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. 14 We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end
God has really been working on the condition of my heart. I have been diligent in working on not having fear and being able to walk confidently in the Way that God has for me. Some days are better than others, but last week I had a moment where I was extremely stressed out. I am on the pursuit of becoming debt free which sounds awesome, right? The problem is in order to become debt free you have to actually face the debt monster and that point can be overwhelming! If you have gone to college than more than likely you have student loans, you might have a credit card or two and just general living expenses..that all adds up. Especially when I chose not to become a doctor, lawyer or other high paying job..meaning my debt is probably more than what I make each year.. that’s the crazy part. I haven’t done anything crazy, I don’t buy purses, shoes or other items on a regular basis for the most part I am pretty frugal. Yet, I have one area that always spins out of control:food. I actually had no idea how much money I spent on eating out until I actually made myself look at my budget. This is what happens; because I don’t buy a lot of tangible things unnecessarily I talk myself into buying a meal or two. I had a hard day at work…I don’t eat out that much let’s go out to eat. Running around doing home visits; let’s stop and grab a quick meal..all those “I don’t do that this often” meals…added up..and in one month I spent a car note on food. a car note……granted some people have very high car notes and others have smaller ones…but this one expense was probably mid-range. I was shocked..and embarrassed because I have literally cut out a lot of frivolous spending only to find out..NONE of the things I cut out were actually the point of the financial bleed. So, now I am on a much stricter food budget..I have made myself cook more meals at home over the past month, month and a half and I can begin to see where I can put the extra money down on some bills. But at first glance..all I did was cry. I know my husband probably thinks I am a bit off sometimes because I cry at things that I probably shouldn’t, but that whole debt thing really had me down..on the surface it feels like I will never be debt free, but there’s fear talking again. There are people who are virtually debt free, I know I might have to pay a mortgage for thirty years, but I don’t feel like paying on student loans that long. I can’t live in my student loans..in fact I think if it took me four years to get the debt..then it should take no more than two times that amount to pay it off…and some people do pay off loans in ten years…But the interest on those things..wow! Anyway I am rambling , but I think you get my point.
I am on a quest to be debt-free in three years. What does debt free look like for me: student loans paid off, cars paid for, no credit card debt and 6 months worth of living expenses in my savings account. Sounds lofty- I know, but if I blew a small car note on eating out it means that I have some disposable income and if I use it wisely..I really could be debt-free in three years. This will mean cutting out trips, mall shopping, buying anything not on sale (lol) and a lot of other things, but I believe that in the end it will be worth it. It will be worth not having that debt monster staring at me under my bed each night. I believe that God gives us the tools we need to complete any task, we just have to believe that He has the power to do whatever He started in us.
I opened this blog with a Scripture from Hebrews. I did this because when I was really stressed a friend told me to read Hebrews 4, which is about entering into Jesus’s rest. I was so caught up in what was going on in the natural that it made me lose focus on what God is trying to teach me. I can have a million plans, run around like a chicken with my head cut off AND things may still be the same. IF I take my worries to God, pray and allow His strength and wisdom to reign over me..then I can do all that I plan on doing without stress. If my plan doesn’t line up with God’s I can easily redirect, because I am in-tune with what He would have me to do. Anyway, once I read Hebrews 4 (I encourage you to do the same) I decided to just read the entire book and see what it might say to me. Hebrews 3 spoke to me, because it specifically talks about the unbelieving heart- I know sometimes I struggle with believing especially when everything is screaming the opposite of what faith is saying. Truth is, God didn’t follow the rules of “nature” He was born of a virgin, used saliva to heal a blind man, a woman touches his clothes and was healed of her ailment AND He walked on water…the natural means nothing to Him. Last year I wrote about a little girl named Starla who had leukemia, she had an episode where she almost died. Her heart literally stopped..you know what she is doing now?? She’s preparing to enter kindergarten! Her hair has grown back..and she is a normal, healthy child again. God cares little for the natural…
Seeing is NOT always believing,