Ghosts of Friendships Past- Renee`

I cannot believe I have been on this Radical 7even journey for almost three years! Every time I think about it I am just so glad that I decided to join in and document the wonderful (and challenging) times God has brought myself and my girls through. This post is one of reflection. I have lost a few friends along the way and I just wanted to acknowledge what friendships mean and evolve into.

In the past, I had a history of doing what I like to refer to as “fading to black”. I was notorious for doing this. This is where you slowly pull away from a friend, boyfriend, group etc until you are just no longer involved. I would do this usually after a confrontation and would try to do this to avoid another argument (if I knew that things couldn’t/ wouldn’t be resolved). I never had this done to me..until recently..and then recently again LOL.

I had a friend of several years, one that I traveled with, one who took me under her wing and mentored me, celebrated birthdays with and when I first found out I was pregnant was one of the first very positive voices on my side. Then she moved..we kept in touch and when she was in town promised to see me. Not only did she not make an effort to see me when she came to town….she deleted me off of Facebook. I was so confused. I never knew we had a fight..or disagreement. When I reached out to ask why…I never got a response. A five year friendship ended without any sort of blip or anything.

Then…this happened to me again. A friend started slowly pulling away…coming late to events..leaving early. Not coming to things at all..then slowly she disappeared from all things social media related. No real warning..just a slow shift. Like air seeping out of a balloon. I did the reach out..which did get a response..but no follow up. Again..I was puzzled. Had I done something to hurt this person and not know…was she going through something and I just was unaware. I felt like maybe I should take the signs that she gave and give her space. So for months..that’s what I did. Then I reached out again..and again response was made..but no follow through. I realized then..the friendship had evolved to something else and it was time I stopped holding on.

An ending of a friendship is (to me) worse than any break up I think I have ever had. I never spent as much time thinking about what I did wrong or what signs I missed then at the end of a friendship. For awhile I had a mix of emotions, but then I just decided to be thankful. Thankful that I had such a positive time with these individual. I thank God for each person that has entered my life..because I cherish those special moments. This blog is dedicated to those lovely people who spent time with me on this journey. I hope our paths cross again 🙂


  1. #1 by Venus on August 20, 2013 - 8:47 am

    Hey Nee! Losing friends suck! Lol! All you can do is reach out but if they don’t respond back, it doesn’t mean anything to them (that’s how I feel). I know that people get busy and have a lot going on, but everyone has time out their busy schedule to respond back to someone that contacted them. Ijs! People make time for what they want to make time for. I hate that you didn’t get any explanation from your friends. It is what it is! Just be happy w/ the friends that you currently have! Love you tons! I’m glad to be on this journey w/ you! ~Venus

  2. #2 by starsinhereye on August 20, 2013 - 4:44 pm

    Loosing our close friends are the hardest thing. Breaking up with my best friend was the worst. I mean guys are suppose to hurt you, but your girl friends? That’s not suppose to happen. I pray for peace for you and the ability to forgive. It may take sometime; I know from experience. But we give it to God and he gives us back ten fold. Love you!

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