11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
I have been married now for almost eight months, sometimes I still cannot believe I am married, other times I can’t remember my life before I allowed my heart to love my husband. Through my marriage God has been really pulling somethings out of me..mostly..ME lol things that need to be removed before He can truly have reign over my life. Being married..being accountable to another person has been the greatest & hardest thing I have ever in my life committed to do. Fortunately for me, God did not allow me to marry a clone; I married someone not my complete opposite but some one that for sure sees and does things differently than I would/do. This has allowed for some pretty interesting discussions to say the least lol *Remember one of my goals is to be a Proverbs 31 Woman*
God started tugging on my heart this week and asking me to answer the question of why I got married. It’s easy to say I got married because I love Darren (which is truth), but is there something even deeper than expressing my feelings of love for my husband? Why did I truly say..from this day forward just you and me kid? I saw him as a wonderful father, attentive boyfriend, and respectful son to his parents..while all those things are wonderful (and in my case very needed and necessary) those are all reasons that are about him and not me. As a woman, why did I want to become a wife..not what do I want or desire in a partner became my new quest. When I looked on the surface most of my reasons were about my needs, but what about my ministry? Yes ministry, as a wife I have a duty to protect my husband’s heart; to represent God’s love to him even when I feel a “certain kind of way”. If I focus on the external reasons for marrying him..I will always feel left out, because what if one day he has a hard day at work and isn’t so attentive (remember that’s one of the things I listed as a need) will I still choose to uphold the banner of love and respect..or will I hold onto a grudge? The more I focus on another person’s actions ( abuse excluded) it can be hard for me to love like I need to love. God commands us to love the unloveable; if I can’t begin to walk in this Word in my home..my walk is a fraud. I can’t be kind to those outside my home and war with my husband (who is actually now a part of me). So I decided to really see what God says about marriage.
While researching love, marriage and God’s plan for wives; God lead me to a really cool website and and even more touching article: http://abiblicalmarriage.com/why-i-choose-to-respect-my-husband-even-when-he-doesnt-deserve-it/
It really was eye-opening for me especially the ten suggestions on how to respect your husband. My favorite suggestion was number one:
- Be more concerned with your walk with the Lord, rather than your husband’s. You are his wife, not his Holy Spirit.
This was something I read in the book Power of a Praying Wife (which I did not finish) and I just couldn’t completely get passed this…if I am hurting or upset how can I not look at the actions of who hurt me? What I am learning is one I know my husband’s heart and he would never do anything to purposely hurt or harm me. Two, the very millisecond I take my eyes off of God and try to mold my husband into MY image…I make him and idol and I discredit God’s handiwork. My only job is to be faithful and remember my First Love and Husband: GOD
New International Version (NIV)
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
So, now I am focused on doing things that would please my Heavenly Husband..which in turn will bring good and not harm to my Earthly husband.
Peace and love