Last week I sat down with a publication by Boundless about marrying well. I thought that that this would help me with my patience towards my boyfriend. I have for some time just wanted to get to the end game instead of enjoying our relationship.

The Girl’s Guide to marrying well is a conservative Christian guidebook to help women (there is also a men’s publication) marry in Christ. I often don’t agree with some of the rhetoric in these kinds of publications; I am both a feminist and egalitarian. This publication was no exception, but there were many great points that were useful.

The first I already know. That’s to have good mentors. People with good marriages who can help me keep my site on what a relationship should be. This is completely covered by my HIS girls. I have several married friends who interpret religious texts a variety of ways and have a variety of relationship styles but when it comes down to it, the answer is always the same. Communicate and take it to God.

The second point made me feel better about my urgency. The publication explained that a strong desire for marriage is good. God programed us this way, and I should not feel embarked nor feel bad about wanting to be married. But what I need to watch is how it can negatively affect my life. I have to keep focused on God, and his plan for marriage for me.  Not focus the relationship on that outcome.

The last point is what truly helped me see this issue in a new light. There was a whole section on what is required for a good husband, or “non- negotiable.” There was one of in that list that was missing: sacrificial love.  It’s not an even street in our relationship when it comes to sacrificial love but it’s also happens in the later stages of relationships. I can’t get to marriage and skip over this developing step. It just won’t work.  I need to once again allow God to set the pace, not myself.

I also have to net let this idea lead me astray from my relationships.  Just because someone is not at a certain point, now is not a reason to leave a relationship.  God will lead me on my way; I just have to put faith in him and his timeline, and less than mine.  So I focus on this prayer the publication includes:

You created me. And I believe You created marriage for my good and Your glory. I don’t know Your timeline, but I’m asking You to refine my desire to be married and fulfill it. Thank You, Lord, for this strong desire You’ve placed in my heart.  Thank You that You’ve already been where I’m headed and that You know what my future holds. Thank You for marriage and for my future husband. Please be with him and prepare his heart to do Your will.

  1. #1 by Renee N. Smith on October 10, 2013 - 8:05 pm

    I always take books like this with a grain of salt and a lot of prayer (which you seem to as well). Every relationship is so different and the needs of the couple vary and how those needs are expressed vary as well. But I like any book that tells you that marriage is a good thing (in it’s season). marriage is a beautiful nightmare lol any issues you had before you jump the broom will be alive and kicking after you say “I Do”. So although out “clocks” might be ticking it’s always good to know that ultimately everything will happen when it needs to love you!

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