Can I just be a little, tiny bit honest with you? I have somehow lost my confidence in my dreams and myself. I keep getting distracted by things that happen in my life, on my job and it makes me feel a bit shaky about some of the things I really want in my life. In the past two weeks, I’ve been told by at least three people that I am not living up to my potential. That statement has been given to me my entire life. Every comment section on all my report cards from kindergarten through high school read: “Renee` is extremely bright, but she is not using her full potential”. That statement was written on honor roll report cards. Honor roll!
Last night one of my spiritual mentors invited me on a Bible study call. I was torn about calling in because it was right at the time I would be driving to pick up my son from his father. My mentor sent me a message and asked if I was going to call in, I looked at the time and realized I missed the call time by 45 minutes. I told her I was sorry for missing the call and she said that there were technical difficulties and the call was starting late! I believe that God will do whatever is in His power to truly get our attention; last night He used my mentor and the book of Jonah. I’ve read Jonah a million times, since I was a child, but I never thought about the emotional roller coaster that he endured or the fact that he actually wanted God to destroy a city of millions. God’s will for Jonah’s life was for him to preach repentance to the people of Nineveh; Jonah was not responsible for the reaction of the people, but simply to spread the Word that God gave him. In Jonah 4 KJV we see the exchange between God and Jonah over the people:
1But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry.
2 And he prayed unto the Lord, and said, I pray thee, O Lord, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil.
3 Therefore now, O Lord, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.
4 Then said the Lord, Doest thou well to be angry?
Jonah was mad that God would have mercy on these people; Jonah told God basically I knew you would waste my time talking to these people because you never had any intention on destroying them..you wanted to save them. Jonah was mad at the will of God for His life. BOOM! when my mentor said that I was shocked. We pray all the time that God’s Will be done in our lives, but what if His Will was for you to bless your enemy? Could you do it? Would you do it? You might be asking, Renee` what in the world does this have to do with you and your confidence issue? It’s simple, God’s Will for my life is to NOT be afraid of whatever HE is doing in my life. I fear rejection, I fear failure, but all those issues are ME focused. GOD is too big to fail If I trust in HIM, He will get the glory and I will relinquish my own fears about my life. I fear rejection, but Jesus was rejected by this world…If I am fully accepted then I am not being different from those of the world. Jesus was very different; He stood out, He made waves and He pushed people out of their comfort zone. No one builds a beautiful ship and then refuses to put it in the water, because it might weather some storms. The ship was made to sail; in good AND bad weather. So are we. We are not supposed to get the Word and just whistle Dixie through life…the Word is supposed to challenge and change us. When things happen that are out of our control…do we believe that God is still in control? This is the biggest challenge of faith.
I don’t want to run from God’s Will for my life..I want to run to it.