Sometimes being an adult can be tricky. When does the time come when the light shines down from the sky on the specific destination in which I am supposed to take. I guess that would be too easy, huh?
This radical 7 journey has opened me up in ways I never imagined. I have physically, mentally, emotionally pushed myself to do radical things, feel radical about my life, and be radical in every thing that I do. It is hard, it doesn’t always feel good. Sometimes the things I do may look like a step backward and for me, it sometimes feel like a step backwards but through everything, I see God working in and through me going back to live with my mom looked like a step backward and it definitely felt like a step backward. But this journey back home has been such a needed experience. I have grown a deeper appreciation for my hometown and the rural area in general. There is so much room for growth and I hope to be a game changer.
I’m currently in a dilemma, which feels like happens to be the norm, more often than not. Once I feel I’ve made a decision about one part of my life, something else arises. The current dilemma deals with my current employment. Honestly, most of my dilemmas deal with my career and/or my health. I’m so anxious to be in a place, in my career life, where I feel that I am actually doing something worthy of my 2 degrees. When people ask me what I would like to do, I’m not sure. I don’t have an exact place or career job title in mind. I just want to be of help. I want to have a feeling that even if there are some off days, I still feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I want to be in an empowering and uplifting environment. I want my supervisor to see me as competent and someone who can be entrusted with tasking objectives. This has been an ongoing battle with me since receiving my Masters in 2010. I sometimes jump on opportunities because I so want to feel official. I jump and I want God to catch up and make the job be right for me. I know that’s not how he works and I’m sure God is daily giving me the side eye.
This is what my current situation pertains to. I jumped at an opportunity to move up without taking time to really pray over and sit with the choice. It must be great right? I wouldn’t be offered a job if isn’t God ordained. Months have passed and I have seen and heard of things that has given me pause. In my mind, I will just have to stick with it and it will get better. Something came over me a few days before what was supposed to be my official start date that maybe this isn’t the blessing that I thought it was. What do I do? Do I start a job where I feel there is already issues, for the sake of saying I have an office, a nice title? Or do I take an even more difficult road, which is taking the time to seek out God? I chose to say NO and I am taking the time to seek out God.
Like I said earlier, Being an adult is tricky.
Still Pushing with my eyes back in the classifieds,