I would like to update on all of my Rad7even goals. A week ago my husband bought me a potted flower..so I am attempting to keep it alive *fingers crossed*
I haven’t been reading the entire Bible (shocker right) but I have been holding on to some Scriptures that are helping me through this time.
I started my new job Monday and I am so happy I made the transition. It’s an organization with a Christ center and focus; we actually prayed before our staff meeting! Everyone’s been extremely nice and I’m fitting in well..
***********In other news***********
This will probably be my last blog this month…just because I’m working hard on staying positive and trying to not talk about the situation too much.
I heard from my doctor today after waiting the longest 48 hours of my life. My HCG levels were higher than what they were on Monday. So I threatened to miscarry but right now Baby Smith is still in place! I go back in two weeks and I’m praying to hear a heartbeat 🙂
I wish I could say that I just rested in those Scriptures..but instead I worried, cried, prayed and cried some more. I’ve been a wreck all week. I had pretty much made up my mind that I lost the baby Monday. My husband has been way more positive and has worked really hard on trying to keep me focused. Every aspect of our lives Is always in God’s hands..but I am a type A person. I like plans, agendas…I like structure. So…I didn’t take surprise well. I wish I had. My mom, HIS and so many people were being so positive. But everytime I got a congrats on the pregnancy my heart would sink a little bit. I know it was meant well..but boy…it was tough.
My mentor told me that until I totally let go of my will and need for control God will continue to throw situations at me that are completely out of my control. So…at this moment I’m a momma to be and I wanna enjoy the process. Whatever happens this has taught me so much about my faith level and where I need to go.