Hello everyone! So from the title of this post, some people think I’m talking about rehab but I’m not. lol! Just keep reading and you’ll understand where I’m going with this post. I’ve been working on myself pretty much all year. I’m healing from things from the past and emotional wounds. The thing that I’m learning is that you can’t put a time limit on healing. I remember saying either last yr or this yr that I would be healed by a certain time frame and also that I’ll be ready for a relationship. Boy was I wrong! I’m nowhere near being ready for a relationship and I’m not fully healed yet but I’m getting there. I think that taking the time out for myself was really necessary in order for me to heal. I’m the type of person that is not used to focusing on myself. I’m usually put my focus on other things such as work, volunteering, helping people, and my positions in my sorority. I’m understanding how important it is to just chill for a moment and just think. This whole year I’ve been dealing w/ my issues. I can say I’m definitely in a better place emotionally now then I was earlier this year. Maybe next year I’ll be ready for a relationship, who knows! We definitely shall see but I’m not in a rush. I’m just enjoying the time to get to know myself better and my time w/ God. I just want to be whole and emotionally healthy.
I’ve really been working on my relationship w/ God. I’m trying to get to the point where I make God a priority. I haven’t been doing the best job w/ that. I been spending time w/ God everyday lately. This month I started doing a journal challenge that my mentor’s ministry (Wives in Waiting) is doing. The journal challenge is basically reading the books Hosea, Romans, and 1st Samuel and writing about it. For example, you read the 1st chapter of Hosea and journal about it. The next day you read Hosea 2 and so forth. So you read the book of Hosea first, the book of Romans second, and then 1st Samuel last. The challenge also came w/ a 3 day fast but I didn’t do it. I didn’t feel as if I was ready. Fasting for me is rough. I do plan on going on a fast before the year is out on my own. I also been reading Colliding with Destiny by Sarah Jakes. It’s a devotional concentrated on the story of Ruth. At the end of each chapter are questions that you can answer and a prayer.
I also been working on trying to get out of my rut. I’m taking baby steps daily. I’ve suffered a couple of hits over the past few years. I lost myself and now I’m getting back to me. Bishop Dale Bronner’s “Turn Up” series has been blessing me. The series is based on Deuteronomy 2:1-3. In a nutshell, the message series is about getting out of the rut of life and stop going through the motions (everyday routine). It’s time to TURN UP! The children of Israel were going around the same mountain (Mount Sanai). The mountain represents a problem area in your life. Bishop Bronner defined a rut as place where you’re gaining little or no success or happiness from doing the same thing. He mentioned that we need revelation in order to get out of our rut. He said that 1.)Revelation comes by rumination; 2.) Revelation comes by revelation; and 3.) revelation comes by relationship. He said that there are four things that perpetuate a rut: wrong philosophy, wrong habits, wrong association, and inaction. He said that those that survive move. So basically while we are in a rut, we have to keep moving in order to get out of it. Those are some of my notes but I have a lot more written down. lol! Next week Bishop Bronner is wrapping up his series. I’m so excited!
Life happens to the best of us. You may experience a death of a loved one, disappointments, financial difficulty, or other events. You may get down for a moment but don’t allow events in your life to cause you to get into a rut or give up on life (as in not trying to pursue your goals or opportunities). Pick yourself up and keep going. I’m writing those words to encourage myself and others.
As you all can see, I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself. lol! I’m not done but I’m going somewhere. I want to be at a place where I’m happy and excited about what I’m doing. I need my motivation back and just don’t feel like I’m just existing. Please keep me in your prayers. God bless!
P.S. I had a few radical moments this month. I made spaghetti for the first time with ground chicken. It turned out pretty good. I never cooked ground chicken before. I usually make my spaghetti with ground turkey. I planned and attended my best friend’s baby shower. The baby shower didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. Only one person showed up and she left early because she had to go to work. Later on that night, there was some drama going on w/ my best friend’s neighbors.
My best friend and I tried to make the best of the baby shower. Her boyfriend was at the baby shower for a while. We took pictures, she opened the few gifts she had, we ate, cut/ate the cake, and watched tv. I was at her house majority of that day. Her and I were mad/disappointed because we expected more people to come. We had a lot of food, cake, and drinks (water and fruit punch) left over. We ended up splitting up the food and drinks. We didn’t get to play the games. =( The theme of the baby shower was pink safari (pink/white zebra print, pink elephants, and pink giraffes). Last week, I applied for a writer’s position for EmpowerMoments. I hope I get it! =) Yesterday I wrote a resignation letter as treasurer of my chapter for my sorority. I felt as if it was time for me to give it up. I’ve been the treasurer for about a yr and half. I’m over two programs in my sorority and I think my focus need to be more on them. So next month should be my last as the treasurer. =(