Today seemed like a good time to reflect on my goals. I did not make any New Year’s resolutions for 2014. The radical7even goals that I began in September are where I will concentrate my efforts. I have not blogged in way too long so I will list them again.
1. Take better care of my physical health by keeping up with my own doctor appointments.
2. Be joyful about something every day.
3. Have fun time with my kids.
4. Go running or do yoga on a regular basis.
5. Meditate on small sections of scripture.
6. Let go of unnecessary guilt.
7. Sleep an average of at least 6 hours a night.
My health has forced me to spend plenty of time in the doctor’s office for the last 2 months. I have recently started Humera injections. I have psoriasis, but more severe than most people. My immune system is it’s own enemy, so this is not just a few dry spots of skin like some people get. I have gotten sick with everything from a respiratory infections, ear infections, a u.t.i., strep throat, to bad allergic reactions. All my immune system wants to do is fight itself instead of protecting my body. I feel like I have carpet burn all over. I stay in constant pain. I take lots of different pills just to keep from getting worse. I am exhausted, but cannot sleep well due to the itching and hurting. Also I get extremely cold because your skin does a good bit of the work when it comes to your body’s temperature regulation. This is not a new thing for me. I have had this condition since I was 7 years old. I have been hospitalized in the past when it was this bad. The blessing is that this is only temporary. Cold is my enemy. In the warm months, I soak up the sun and get to be like everyone else. Just another reason that I love living in Florida. We get more warm weather than most places.
Dealing with pain can be useful. That is a strange statement but it is so true for me personally. Pain helps the good things in my life stand out clearly. The strength of my husband, the sweetness of my children, the love from my parents, the comfort of my home, the support from true friends, and the peace of mind from my heavenly Father. I cannot carry my own load right now. I am physically weak. This is difficult. I am stubborn, and try to do more than anyone thinks I should. My norm is to push myself physically and not to accept help if at all possible. Now I need help constantly. This gives me the opportunity to be thankful that I do have that help. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. This has also helped me to weed out relationships where I was the only one giving.
I have slowed down the pace of my life. There is time for reflection which I needed. I am doing well in all of my goals now, except for physical exercise and sleeping through the night. I will eventually get better and be able to do that again. Until then my plan is to accept this frailty as an opportunity for spiritual growth. I will be patient and wait on God’s timing for my body to become strong again.
Peace and Love, Pam