I just had a friend diagnosed with a serious illness. That night I was shocked. I didn’t have words. I didn’t know what to do. The next day, I was driving to work it hit me: I should do for her what I wanted done when I first found out I was so sick. I texted her a simple message: “I love you.” I also wrote her a note and mailed to her to let her know I was thinking of her even there I wasn’t there. I also sent a Christian CD a friend had shared with me that helped get me through really hard days. I would treat her the way I wanted to be treated myself.
Then an even greater thought hit me. I understood completely what she was going through. Because of my situation, I had empathy for her and for others with serious diseases. This insight was a gift from God, a gift that not a lot of people have. Here, once again, my blessing was a burden and I had one answer as to as why God was taking me through this trial.
Then God gave me another gift, another answer. When I went to Birmingham, my immunologist was able to shed some light on my condition. I don’t have a true “diagnosis” but we understand what is going on with my body (although not why). I am having both autoimmune symptoms and immune deficiency symptoms. This means part of my immune system is over reacting and attacking the body instead of disease and other parts of my immune system aren’t working at all.
Imagine a seesaw. The fulcrum at the center is the normal human body. To the left is autoimmune disease and the right is immune deficiency. Now picture two children of the same size going up and down, up and down that’s me. At some point, the seesaw will stop on one side. I could develop full blown lupus or full blown immune deficiency.
Quick research shows that I am not too abnormal. Doctors have seen this paradox in others. It will be imperative for me to see my Rheumatologist for the autoimmune side and my Immunologist for the deficiency side. We are currently treating my autoimmune with drugs and doing more tests to see what treatment I can get for the deficiency. My numbers are so wonky that we are sure that insurance will pay for IgG transfusions, but we are presenting other tests and my doctor said he would talk with them personally. There is one other treatment with antibiotic, but he thinks I will not respond well to that one.
So I have an answer and I have my plan. Now I just watch the seesaw.
Thank you Lord for these answers; this treatment path; the empathy for others. Thank you for making me the person I am today.