I had inspiration a few weeks ago for a business plan. I mean I was really on fire, super excited and then….i started doing that little self-talk thing. Instead of a pep talk I was doing a “realistic” evaluation of what I could actually accomplish.
If anyone was to ask me what I believe my purpose is I can answer without a shadow of a doubt to help people. I see myself as a bridge. I like to bridge ideas, plans, people and resources together to create a new environment or thought process. I have a dream to take the idea of HIS and make it a global community. I see there are tons of personal coaches and life gurus that can tell people how it’s done, but I see my vision being very different. I don’t think we really have experts in life; I think we have those who things have worked for and those who have been too afraid to try and then those somewhere in the middle. There’s alot that goes into success and the biggest factor I see is support. Even if the entire world tells you, no, if you have someone in your corner cheerleading you on it helps you stay focused. I know this to be a fact, because I look at the ministry of HIS and I do consider it a ministry. All these women from various backgrounds, belief systems, families, educational backgrounds and ethnicities coming together to support one another (genuinely) wanting the best for one another..how awesome is that? What an incredible sisterhood! Why would I not want to share that concept with the world?
I do! The issue is…I constantly say, well..I mean who would want to listen to little ol’ me. Even though I think I bring value to the table..I am not there yet.What is “there”…well there is, my bills aren’t paid off, I rent, I am still figuring out what I want my career to look like..the list could go on and on. I have more question marks than answers so how in the world can I encourage someone to do something that I am still sitting on the sidelines about? I cant!
This is why I have to get off the sidelines. I have been very open about my struggles at the new job. Struggling occupationally or academically has almost never happened to me. Honestly most things come pretty easy to me and I think I took that for granted. This entire 6 months has been an eye opening experience for me. I’ve grown in great ways, but then I have also allowed my confidence in my ability to waver. The greatest thing that came out of this..was forced humility. Just like when I lost Baby Smith, it was a reminder that everything even the very essence of life is a gift from God. We cannot number our days or the events of those days.
As someone who is a planner and as someone who is sometimes disillusioned to think that I am “together”, those have been very hard lessons for me. Dealing with abandonment from my father and just this weird mini identity crisis has had me so unfocused (at a time where it is critical to be focused).
I hope to launch an additional blog to this one which will go through the process of me opening up my own empowering business..I have no title yet or structure. My goal is to get the groundwork laid before the next Rad Year cycle rolls around. I genuinely want people to obtain their God-given greatness. In order to do that I have to boldly walk into my own God-given greatness.
One step at a time,