I’ve been very blessed in the fact that I’ve really only dealt with death from a distance. I’ve had an uncle pass and a great grandmother, but being a military brat I wasn’t able to build strong relationships with them because I lived so far away. Recently like literally a week ago that changed with the death of my recently high school graduate cousin….a cousin who was still in his teens….life was snatched by a bullet. I still can’t believe it. When a death occurs from violence it’s sudden and usually comes with few answers, but tons of rumors. The result is the same with or without answers:my cousin is dead.
I believe funerals are for the living, so those left behind can come together in support and love, but I still hate going. I stalled for hours so I wouldn’t have to see him at the viewing. I didn’t want to see the lifeless version of such a lively person, but it was unavoidable at his service. I was radical because I went to see the version of him I had avoided so long and because I held his mother in comfort. I had no real words..nothing is like a mother’s love and to bury your child…is every mother’s worst nightmare.
My cousin was the kind of guy who lived the way he wanted. He cared not what other people thought of him and was an individual. His death has made me completely reevaluate my life.
Our time here is short; regardless if you’re given 18 or 100 years. All will seem not long enough when you’re at the end of them.
My goal now is to make sure I’m using every ounce of time to adequately fulfill my God given mission. Even if it doesn’t make sense to those around me..or I get negative feedback. At the end of my days the naysayers won’t have to deal with regret, I will.
With lots of love