All systems go
The sun hasn’t died
Deep in my bones
Straight from inside
“Radioactive”, Imagine Dragons
It’s time to weigh in on how I did with my goals this year. My theme song this year was “Radioactive,” and I used it as catalysis to change for God. Let’s see how well I did.
Accept and Learn to Live with my Diagnosis
I have a diagnosis, immune dysfunction, but that doesn’t really mean anything. My immune system is screwed up. In the next few years, I will either have a full blown autoimmune disease or immune deficiency. This has resolved some ideas in my head. I know what I am working towards. This helps me prepare for the future. But, moreover, I am working on dealing with each day and building my strength. The medications are finally helping and the pain is manageable. This year I have strived not to let it stop me. I went to Washington DC as a Kidney Advocate, I am Alabama Co-Chair for PATH International, and I have gone on several trips. The time for hiding is over. I have succeeded in finding myself even though myself now includes being sick
This is probably one of the hardest goals for me. It seems when I think I have forgiven, I haven’t really. So this year I did some public affirmations of anger so I could forgive. But then cut it off. I’ve had time to be angry, now it’s time for peace. I have dealt with present forgiveness and letting go of the anger that I get from a person on a daily basis. I forgive her each day and it has really made my days happier and more productive. I am working on past grievances. I have a special prayer in my prayer book to help me with this, and I think I am making good progress. But only time will tell if I have accomplished that.
I have been working on my crafts but not as monthly as I would like. But just because I haven’t actually worked on them doesn’t mean I haven’t planned some epic creations. My Christmas plans are well under way. I have finished my other tasks except one sock monkey (sewing is my least favorite craft). To help keep me creative, I am also flexing my artistic muscles at work developing new bulletin boards each month and have revamped our scrap books. Now to work on my own scrap books.
I have read four of the five books I set out to read this year. The fifth one isn’t finished because I lost it. Oppps. I did give up on the Psalm study. It wasn’t inspiring me and just became more of a chore. My best tool has been this great prayer book called “God’s Help for Your Every Need: 101 Life Changing Prayers” that I read a lot. It truly has a prayer for almost every situation. So I’m giving this goal a thumbs up.
I have done well with my budget getting my spending under control. I don’t have a paper budget written out but I have stuck with a plan that makes sure I cover all my bills. My saving account is doing great and I was able to have a good time at Dragon Con by only taking money out of my checking account; I had enough saved. But every time I get my medical bills paid off, I accrue more. This is really frustrating for me. I really want to get my credit card paid off. But I will keep working towards that and be grateful that I have gotten my spending under control.
I have both succeeded fantastically and failed miserably. I have had more patience and acceptance with my friends and coworkers. I’ve not gotten my feelings hurt when they don’t express their appreciation like I think they should. I have allowed them to truly bloom and have accepted each one’s gifts. This has made me a happier person, and it allows people to truly be themselves.
How did I fail? I lost all patience with my boyfriend and gave him an ultimatum that tore us apart. And I was miserable for it. My life was not happier without him in, and for one of the few times in my life, I felt regret. I have since started a friendship with him and am trying to be patient with how the relationship may or may not progress. I just have to give it to God and be patient and see what happens.
I give myself a big thumps up on this one. I’ve managed to slow down enough to take care of my body without stopping my life. If I don’t feel good and can’t go out, I won’t. My friends understand but I try to go out and live as much as possible. I also take off work whenever I feel something funny is going on with my body; it’s better for me to be proactive than get sick and have to take care of myself. I feel that I have managed to balance my health with a social life. Now if I can just get myself exercising again…
This year has been very productive, and I feel very different than I did a year ago. I have grown and I have become a better person. I am really looking forward to starting the process over again this year.