Two of my big goals this year focus on re-directing my thinking. One was to get a handle on my road rage. Drivers make me so angry because it puts me in danger. But letting my anger take me over is not healthy nor is it very Christian. So my first step was to tell myself that these people weren’t trying to hurt me and put myself in their places. I thought of reasonable excuses why they would do certain activities that might be dangerous. I also asked God to help calm my heart. Rerouting my thoughts came pretty easily—unless I’m not feeling well. I fail miserably then but I keep pushing.
I am also working on my cynical nature. I find it interesting that I have such issues. I work in an industry that requires empathy, understanding and passion. But when people talk or I read articles and things I always jump to not believing them. This doesn’t happen with those I am close to. I have learned that I can trust them.
Part of it comes from not being able to trust and life teaching me that people do not have your best interest at heart. Disappointments have hardened my heart. And now it’s time to soften it; to work on trusting humanity as a whole instead of just a handful of people who have earned it.
This is slow going but I catch myself. It happens the most when I’m reading. Prime example: I’ve been reading a horse book, and when people claim all kinds of things, I just v roll my eyes and say “yeah right!”. But these things can be done, and I shouldn’t just jump to conclusions that they are lying, boasting or exaggerating.
So these goals are coming along. I just keep my eyes on God and keep pushing to be a better Christian.