Journey to Myself – Reneé


Fall is officially here and as I’ve written about many times before fall is my season for change.  Some big changes always happen around this time.  I’ve found out about new jobs, new babies, got engaged, lost a baby, etc. all during this season.

This fall/winter I am looking forward to bringing new life into the world through my precious Lennon.  I haven’t talked much about preparing for birth and since one of my goals is complete turn around in my thinking,  I thought I would share my thoughts.

I’ve been working on mentally preparing both my body and mind for birth for about two months.  I’ve been working on some hypnobirthing techniques and am really empowered and encouraged by what the mind can do. I plan on a completely natural birth with Lennon and look forward to the experience.  I had a pretty unassisted slightly medicated birth with Daniel and I hate I didn’t stick to my original plan. I planned to do a completely natural birth with him, but after 6 hours of labor I asked for pain meds intravenously.  If I had really been focused I would have realized that the closer contractions meant my baby was coming,  but I panicked and actually stopped breathing through the contractions  which in turn caused more pain. The pain meds actually did little to alievate the pain, it just calmed me down and slowed my contractions which probably prolonged my labor.

Side note – I’m not one of those women who looks down on other women who have medicated births or have no desire whatsoever to even try natural labor. Your experience is just that, yours.  As long as the baby and you make it through the journey happy and healthy more power to you.

I also will not feel guilty if I do decide to get pain meds either; a birthing plan is just that..a plan and can be altered at any point.

For me, this is more about empowerment. I was unable to do anything with my pregnancy with Baby Smith,  absolutely everything was out of my control. I’m hoping through Lennon’s birth I’ll be better at being my own advocate,  which I did not do previously.  I felt I should have asked more questions and not have ensured the 4 plus weeks of emotional and physical pain I endured during that time. But thats neither here nor there.

I just want trust that God has equipped me with everything I need in my doctors,  support system and most importantly in my own body.

Here’s to a healthy delivery #5moreweeks


  1. #1 by starsinhereye on November 25, 2014 - 4:28 pm

    So proud of you for not giving up! Keep going! You can do it!

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