It’s like that sometimes – Reneé


Lennon and I shortly after his birth

So, as I stated in the last entry my pregnancy with Lennon never quite went as planned so why in the world did I think his birth would be?
On my induction date, I went in feeling great(hungry since I couldn’t eat after midnight) but great. I talked to Lennon and asked him to come before lunch. My mom and husband went in with me and later we were joined by Danielle (the Godmother) and both my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I kept saying my mantras and bounced on a birthing ball. I was happy the day came and I was able to have the natural delivery i had planned! 12 hours into my labor the nurse said she was seeing some strange dips in Lennon’s heart rate and wanted me to try a new position. New position didn’t work and soon came the doctor.  The doctor was very matter of fact; if we dont see change soon we will do a c section.  There it was the dreaded “c” word. I was determined to not let that happen so I took deep breathes moved in circular motions allowed them to put oxygen on me, the whole 9. Well, it didn’t work, the doctor stated it seemed like Lennon was in distress and he wanted to prep me for surgery. I immediately cried. Not the wimper, one tear drop falling from your right eye cry, but the omg! You’re about to cut me open this is totally against my birth plan cry. I was terrified.  I’ve never had surgery and i thought I was progressing well, I was 7 cm when the call was made.

As soon as he said c section it seemed like 34 people busted into the room going over paperwork,  asking about living wills. ..i mean really people.  Can I process?  Then I was wheeeled into the OR. No one could be with me at first.  So I’m surrounded by total strangers.  Thank God the anesthesiologist, his partner and my attending nurse were so nice. They joked with me and explained every part of the process. My husband was finally able to enter the room and at 3:06 pm weighing in at 8.2 pounds Lennon entered this world.
Not how I planned.  Not what i expected,  but he’s here!
Although i did not have the birth or pregnancy experience i thought I would I’m happy to have experienced it all.
My recovery from the c section has played on me emotionally and physically.  I had and still have to ask for so much help. My mom and sister have been a godsend in this area.
but there are some positives. I really learned so much about myself.  Even though I did cry before the procedure,  when it came down to it i handled my business, I talked to God and just relaxed. In the OR I wasn’t as nervous as i had been during the whole induction process. Finally after months of fighting,  worrying and trying to give it to GOD. ..i did. I gave it all to Him.

2015 has started with a bang for me, i have let go of all preconceived ideasn2of this year. I’m just praying my way through and hoping I don’t miss anything that God is saying.

C-section Mommy,

  1. #1 by radical7even on January 15, 2015 - 2:27 pm

    You were a trooper and I’m so proud of you and so blessed to be your friend!

  2. #2 by starsinhereye on January 26, 2015 - 11:53 pm

    So excited to have Lennon here! Love you!

  3. #3 by Venus on February 1, 2015 - 4:19 am

    That’s a lot to take in (everything you had to endure leading up to the C-section & then finding out that you had to have one). Sometimes things don’t go the way we plan them to. I’m glad that Lennon is healthy! He is so adorable!

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