Whatever trials, tribulations, bad days and annoyances we face they are all brought to us or sanctioned by God to reveal the state of our hearts. You can say I believe such and such all day while the sun is shining, but what about when the storm hits. When the rain beats you down and you can’t see, or when something hits you right in your chest and you feel like you can’t breathe. …I’m talking about that kind of storm.
I’m in a storm and it’s difficult for me to process because. ..it’s an issue close to my heart. I struggled with the idea of love when I was younger, because I saw vulnerability as a weakness. People will see what you care about the most and exploit that, that was my mindset. It took me having Daniel at 23 years of age to really truly love someone. He turned on a switch in my heart I just couldn’t flip off. He left me wide open emotionally…
With that being said, when something really hurts me…it cuts me deep. I mean to my core. Before I could shake things off easily because my level of care was surface at best, so nothing truly affected me.
I just experienced and am experiencing a situation that is challenging me qt my core value. Since i started HER, I’ve been attacked in this very area if sisterhood. Again, a heart issue. How can i honestly blog, post and write positive messages for women when right now another woman has hurt me? This situation revealed what I need to turn over to God. I need to pray for her (not in the God please get her lol) but a deep felt God bless her, restore her, heal her…heal me, restore me. Wherever I’ve lacked or whoever I’ve hurt forgive me. If i see her, like I see me a soul who needs grace and forgiveness it puts this back in the right perspective. It takes the focus off my feelings, my hurt and places them at my Father’s feet. I am by no means perfect, but through Him I’m loved perfectly and can reflect Him and his attributes.
My heart issue needed to be exposed so that I can become the woman God made.
I got off track, cried, said a few (ok, ok) ALOT of cuss words lol but that’s ok. The point is, although I still feel wounded, confused and just plain old sad…I don’t have to carry that with me. God said come to me all who are burdened and heavily laden and I will give you rest. Everyone’s burden is different. Some it might be illnesses, some might be finances. ..for me i don’t know why, but my biggest issues always come from relationships. I’m going to ask God to reveal why I’m like 99% of the time attacked in this area, but whatever the reason….ive got to put my big girl panties on…and keep trucking
One leg at a time,