“Lately I’ve been, I’ve been loosing Sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars.”
“Counting Stars,” OneRepublic
This year was prioritized for changing my focus; to starting seeing the important things: my physical and spiritual health, to see people in another light, and not to worry about the green backs, and instead work on my purpose. It has been a big year for me. God led me to change jobs, and He has truly given me what I asked for. I am now a domestic missionary: I don’t have a salary and I depend on the financial generosity of God’s Children, but the feeling of being complete, of following God is all consuming. I am truly counting stars.
Read on to see how I have done with my goals this year. (no matter what I did or didn’t achieve, my wholeness still reverberates in me!)
This is going rather well. I don’t always go to God first, because I get so wrapped up in my emotions. But I do take it to him and pray to him whenever I felt moved and at night I sit down for a studious prayer to help connect with my Heavenly Father. So I give this goal a thumbs up!
My yearly reading started in January and is going really well! I am on track so I count this as another successful goal! I’ve worked through feeling guilty for the few days I am too tired to concentrate on my reading. I just pick it back up the next day and keep on going!
Great big fail! I tried to start a yoga routine. I have a five minute seated work out my friend sent me. I had another friend have her personal trainer husband create a plan for me (my lack of success is in now way related to their policies or procedures lol). I just didn’t do it. I would get started and then I would get tired. Then I’d get off track. But I have started walking to the mail box as much as I can which a short walk that doesn’t wear me out so I plan to expand it more in the coming year.`
Work on Self Image
I feel like I have gone backwards. At the half way point, I seemed to be doing OK. But I’m not exercising like I should, and I still haven’t lost the medication weight. Its frustrating and I feel unattractive and I feel discouraged. I was showing a friend pictures I took before I got sick. She was like, “That doesn’t even look like you! You look so beautiful!” I know that as time I changes I will, but I blame this on my illness, it seems to be the one thing I can’t shake about it it. I can handle the slowing down, the canceling of plans, but being unattractive isn’t one. I guess its because I felt so unattractive most my life, and then when I finally, get good with myself, it goes out the window.
This one worked 99 percent! I do really well on the road now. I had to remind myself that people were not out to get me. People just don’t realize what their bad mistakes can lead to and this is why I was so angry. I started to pray for them and for myself and slowly it began to get better. I could remind myself that maybe they were just Ina hurry and didn’t think or something like that. So unless I am really feeling bad, I have stopped yelling or calling people names.
Shake it Off
I am doing a lot better on this one. I pray to God to remind me to relax and not worry. I used “Shake It”, “I Bet My Life,” and a variety of other songs to elevate my mood and remember. I have gotten prayer cards for anxiety and rejection. These help cleanse my soul. My anxiety has gotten better and I have stopped worrying about little or perceived threats as much. This one gets a thumbs up as well.
I have worked hard to see the best in people. I have really opened myself up to hearing from God and allowing myself to think what I should really be thinking about people. I have worked hard not to judge them (working on my road rage has helped this a lot). While its a daily struggle, I feel like its not as bad as it once was. It helps that I have gotten out of a negative environment and into a more positive one. This has helped with Shaking It Off as well as seeing the best in others. I’ve picked up daily devotionals and books to try to connect with people again and to work harder to understand them-from a more positive side this time.