When I was little, I wanted a family. I played with baby dolls and imagined playing house as a child. As a teen, I had all the names of my children picked out (and their celebrity fathers). I had a idea of a great family, not one marred by illness and strife. God has put this desire in me, or so I thought.
After my diagnosis of CVID, I prayed and mulled and cried and felt sorry for myself. I came thisclose to deciding not to deciding not to have children. I didn’t want the child to be neglected. I didn’t want my child to grove up resentful that she came second to my disease. I didn’t want to not be able to give them my all. Then I met Vadim.
As I have mentioned before, I work at Bridges of Faith a ministry and non-profit in Alabama who care for Ukrainian Orphans (you can learn more here: http://www.bridgesoffaith.com). The latest group arrived on Christmas Day and left us on January 20. As always, they stole my heart but one child in this group changed my mind about everything I thought about my life with chronic illness. Smart and charming Vadim snuck into my life. While I had my hands full with two younger children, it was hard not to see the things we had in common: big hearts, a love of conversations and a devoted following to comics. I enjoyed spending time with him and his friend Kolya, another preteen who was more mature than his years suggested.
The first Wednesday night after they arrived, we went to a church for dinner. Some of the kids were still jet lagged and were still adjusting to their busy schedule. On the way home, I sat in the back of the van with the kids. Vadim crawled next to me and laid his head in my lag and fell asleep. I had one arm around him happy as a clam. The ride was only 15 minutes but in those 15 minutes my life changed.
In that moment I felt such another love for another human being that I couldn’t contain. My desire to be a mom blossomed. And some how how that feeling overcome every feeling of doubt or frustration I had developed since I became sick. Here was a clear sign that God would still work it out for me.
This is what I was meant to do; illness will not stop me. Until it is time to have my own family, I will devote my love and passion to these children-those who need love the most. Sometime, we clearly tells us what he wants from us.
If you would like to find out more about Bridges of Faith please visits: http://www.bridgesoffaith.com/
And if you are interested in making a tax-deductible donation to BOF in my name to continue my domestic ministry work , please contact firstname.lastname@example.org, donate on-line (mention my name) or send checks to 302 County Road 383, Billingsley, AL 36006. Thank you for your support!