I’m not sure if anyone noticed in the last post, I mentioned moving to a new city with my fiancée. That was my first mention of ever having a relationship on Radical 7even and that’s because I was in a secret relationship for the past 8 years.
This is my coming out story…
National Coming out Day 2017 was October 11. I am late, as usual but I felt it was time to share and be open. Even as I am typing this, it is very hard to put into words. For the longest time, we denied the relationship, even hope the feelings would revert back and we could chalk it up to experimentation.
But it didn’t.
During my junior/senior year of College, I began falling in love with my best friend, who happened to be a girl. We’ve had this conversation before and we can never pinpoint the moment where we knew we liked each other. It was simple stuff like having lunch together at the café, started from one day a week to every day. She would walk me home from work. I would keep her company on her Sabbath. It just became a time where my day began and ended with her. I felt it was strange but it also felt very natural to be her.
Then, the first kissed happen. It seemed like time had stopped. Up until that point, I could chalk up my feelings to just my overactive imagination. The kiss made it real. Where do we go from here? It began as nice and fun, but she never wanted to be open and refused to even call it a relationship. That saddened me, but honestly, did I want to be in the open? Quite honestly, you open yourself to criticism and to actual physical pain. I grew up in a world, the same world most of you grew up in, the world that said and still says same sex relationships are wrong and Hell will be your final destination.
I honestly never thought we would ever be known to the light of day. I had convinced myself that the feeling would one day stave itself off but it didn’t, it only intensified. One day, we were going through things and I felt like I was slowly drowning. I reach out to my best friend and asked her if I could tell her something. She said as long as you haven’t hurt my husband or my kids, there is nothing that you could tell me that would make me love you any less. A burden was lifted. Her words were a spark. I no longer had to stay in the darkness. It allowed me to share with my other close friends and family.
I wanted to let others know, falling in love with a girl and marrying her, makes me no less of a Christian. I love God and Jesus, with my whole heart. Everyday, I sin and fall short but HIS grace saves me for another day. I have been blessed to have wonderful people in my life, who have prayed, laughed, and cried with me.
I married my fiancée on October 21st.
Until Next Time