Radical 7even is online blog that follows the spiritual journey of a group of friends. We all are going through major transitions in our life. Some of us have recently made major decisions in our life while others are waiting and wondering what is the next step, when to take that step and how. Nevertheless, we all want our relationship with God to grow; to be prosperous mentally, spiritually, physically, and intellectually; and want to make a difference in this world. So, together, we decided to challenge God by giving Him 7 years to radically change our life the way He sees fit. It takes a lot of faith to challenge God, but also to surrender our life to Him to do as He please. So, God has challenged us to take action in this process because in a relationship it takes two to make it work. So, we have pledge the following: - We must create 7 goals to accomplish each year and try our best to accomplish them. - We must do one thing outside our comfort zone a week called "Radical Moment" -We must journal at least once a week about our radical moment and/or how we are one step closer to accomplishing a goal on our list. We can journal using video, a tweet, poem, short story, or various other media (all will be under one of the name Radical 7even). To be honest it is not about the destination (or the goal we have to accomplish), it is really about the journey of getting there because sometimes things change, plans change; but, learning something on the way the way adds value and wisdom to life. As we share our journey with you, we hope that you are touched to the point that you will want to share your journey with others. What's the point of success if you don't have people to share it with. This is why we choose to do this. We all are different and have different aspirations in life, but the one things that will never change is the sisterhood we have. And it will only grow stronger as time and this journal progress. -the HIS girls
I’m not sure if anyone noticed in the last post, I mentioned moving to a new city with my fiancée. That was my first mention of ever having a relationship on Radical 7even and that’s because I was in a secret relationship for the past 8 years.
This is my coming out story…
National Coming out Day 2017 was October 11. I am late, as usual but I felt it was time to share and be open. Even as I am typing this, it is very hard to put into words. For the longest time, we denied the relationship, even hope the feelings would revert back and we could chalk it up to experimentation.
But it didn’t.
During my junior/senior year of College, I began falling in love with my best friend, who happened to be a girl. We’ve had this conversation before and we can never pinpoint the moment where we knew we liked each other. It was simple stuff like having lunch together at the café, started from one day a week to every day. She would walk me home from work. I would keep her company on her Sabbath. It just became a time where my day began and ended with her. I felt it was strange but it also felt very natural to be her.
Then, the first kissed happen. It seemed like time had stopped. Up until that point, I could chalk up my feelings to just my overactive imagination. The kiss made it real. Where do we go from here? It began as nice and fun, but she never wanted to be open and refused to even call it a relationship. That saddened me, but honestly, did I want to be in the open? Quite honestly, you open yourself to criticism and to actual physical pain. I grew up in a world, the same world most of you grew up in, the world that said and still says same sex relationships are wrong and Hell will be your final destination.
I honestly never thought we would ever be known to the light of day. I had convinced myself that the feeling would one day stave itself off but it didn’t, it only intensified. One day, we were going through things and I felt like I was slowly drowning. I reach out to my best friend and asked her if I could tell her something. She said as long as you haven’t hurt my husband or my kids, there is nothing that you could tell me that would make me love you any less. A burden was lifted. Her words were a spark. I no longer had to stay in the darkness. It allowed me to share with my other close friends and family.
I wanted to let others know, falling in love with a girl and marrying her, makes me no less of a Christian. I love God and Jesus, with my whole heart. Everyday, I sin and fall short but HIS grace saves me for another day. I have been blessed to have wonderful people in my life, who have prayed, laughed, and cried with me.
I married my fiancée on October 21st.
Until Next Time
Posted in Uncategorized on November 5, 2017
The picture above was taken 24 hours after Darren was born. As you may know it was very trying. I was blessed to not go through that alone.
When many people envision marriage the first thing that usually comes to mind is the actual wedding. Weddings are the celebration of two people joining together…a marriage is the verb of said commitment.
What? You didn’t know marriage was a verb? Oooooooh yes it is the very definition of what a verb is. A marriage is a living breathing entity of two people who choose each other and for many bring forth life because of said union.
Marriage is also a combination of you and your thoughts and ideas as well as what you’ve been exposed to and downloaded both subconsciously and consciously.
Mant times we don’t even realize our expectations are unreasonable until our partner is like…um that’s just not me.
There’s no 30day risk free trial in marriage. You say “I Do” and…you’ure.
In my almost 5 years of marriage Ive been blessed to grow as a woman. Growth comes with a very steep price Ive been humbled more times than I can count. If you read some of my previous blogs you know I am in recovery for yelling. I’m sure it’s not a real thing but for me it should be working on extending grace can be hard. Especially when you’re tired…I am not one of those people who functions well when tired. I’m irrated quickly when I’m tired.
But I’ve been working on not using that (being sick, tired, overwhelmed) etc. Instead I try and center myself for a few minutes. I find myself a quiet spot and just focus myself. My yelling has gone down quite a bit. Not perfect but it’s definitely decreased.
Trials will come. That’s just life, but how you choose to deal with them…
Posted in Uncategorized on October 14, 2017
Last weekend, I (and my husband) made a life altering decision. After months of attempting to work with a family member we decided that this person could no longer live in our home.
It had been coming for probably a year but we both overlooked or ignored certain things….but it all became too much.
I was initially just extremely angry. This person had lied to me for quite some time. And although a part of me always knew that, I was hoping against all hope that this person would change. Not only did they not change, I also wasn’t apologized to.
Forgiving people who dont ask for forgiveness is a theme in my life. Is it one in yours?
In blogs about 2 years ago, I wrote about another family member who also hurt me deeply and never apologized or even acknowledged their behavior. I spent 2 years icing them out until I could heal. Our relationship has never fully recovered but I hope some day it will.
Now with this family member that was removed..this was their second strike. Second time I was used and lied to….to my face. It really annoys me when I present evidence and the person sits there doe-eyed and innocent..when I know they are lying…..the anger that creeps up my neck…its unreal.
In all honesty, the anger has ceased but saddness has creeped in. We are family..doesnt that mean anything any more???
But I know im required to forgive…forgiveness is so hard especially when you feel the person doesn’t deserve it…and in my case I feel doesn’t care one way or another. So…annoying LOL
I recently watched a video of a woman who forgave a Nazi doctor that performed several experimental tests on captives. She and her sister were not experimented on by this particular doctor…but still. She forgave someone who did horrible, despicable things. Forgiveness is possible.
If Joseph can forgive his brothers for wanting to kill him, but selling him into slavery instead…just maybe I can forgive a thief of time, money and energy.
Im working my way through the pit of lies and very human emotions to get there…not there yet… but that’s what Rad7even is.
It’s the final year of Radical 7even. This year I will look back and see what I have become and make sure I am happy with what I have accomplished. What I see in the mirror will tell me this. For this year, I recycled many goals that have that I failed or only accomplished for a short period. The others are building off my successes of pervious year. I know I am on the verge of something wonderful, and I can’t wait to see what change has actually occurred.
“Here’s to the time we have”
“Lost And Found”, Train
I have let my favorite hobby go. I stopped writing outside of work and some letters. I work on grants but nothing creatively. I haven’t worked on a short story in years and I even completely given up my own entertainment blog. I only post of Radical 7even when it’s a work or goal update. My chronic illness blog gets updated like once a month. This is not acceptable, and I cannot let one of my favorite activities to go by the way side. My goal is to write in each blog once a month and track down my fairy short story and finish it.
Exercise has been on my goals for many, many years. It’s hard for to stick to exercising for two reasons: 1. my illness makes it hard sometimes, and, 2. I don’t really want to do it. Currently, I go for walks with my cats but that’s maybe twice a week. I have videos for Pilates, chair yoga. But I don’t know why I can’t hype myself up to do them. My goal this year is to get into a real routine that benefits me and my health.
3. Be Myself
This last year I challenged myself to open about who I am and my thoughts and goals. I really felt freed and like I was making a difference. This empowered me, and I want to truly embrace who I am and not be afraid to hide it. I want to be fully me and hope that people embrace me instead of hiding what they might not like.
“Till I am a soul on fire”
“Soul On Fire”, Third Day
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “‘Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with your entire mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
I feel like I do a great job of loving my neighbor. My life and political philosophy is love they neighbor. But you know what I missed? The first part. I love Jesus but it’s not my default love. This year, I my goal am to get to that default and start following the most important commandment.
5. Take A Leap Of Faith
I’m not big on getting out of my comfort zone. I have taken leaps of faith before and been richly rewarded. But I don’t do it often enough. I feel like my fear keeps from things and sometimes I don’t care. I want to learn to take the right chances; not just jumping at everything, but making the right choices for my life as a whole.
“Been a prisoner of the past”
“Learn to Let Go”, Kesha
6. Forgive Myself
Part of my depression and anxiety is exacerbated by how I react. I have trouble forgiving myself. I have always said nothing you can say can be worse than what I’ve told myself.
For instance I got a date wrong for a court date in regards to not having car insurance. I spent all day beating myself up. I had to remember I had a very stressful two months as well as several illnesses. That always leads to my brain being messed up. Once I calmed down, I was able to enjoy time with my family and take the appropriate steps to rectify the situation.
This beating myself up has to stop. It doesn’t make the situation better and just makes me suffer more.
7.Spread the Love
I recently heard that a man that I met back in June died. He had spent the majority of his life in Crimea working with orphans. But he was one of the rudest older gentlemen I had ever met. I tried to get past that and see his service as his true heart. After being kicked out of Crimea when the Russians took over, he was sort of wondering the US. He died from Stage 4 cancer and we had no idea. His body was shipped to California to his mom. I was grateful he had family, but people who talked of him said they didn’t know any of his friends. I know personally, that he was divorced and spoke harshly of his ex-wife. The story of his death implied, to me, the same as his post Crimea life, he was very lonely and don’t have any roots. I don’t want to be that way. So my goal is to appreciate my loved one and try to get along. To let them know they are loved. Let them know they have a person to come to. If I do this, I know I will receive the same in return.
This has been a week of firsts. I’ve moved to a new city, in a new apartment and started a new job. Renee always encourages us to blog in the moment, when emotions and thoughts are fresh. I decided to write about my first week at my new job and being in a new city.
Week 1 Day 2
I meant to do one for Day 1, but I was tired and Snicker bar hungry. I don’t see myself as a person who’s doing extraordinary things. In all honesty, people have to sit me down most times and remind me that I am indeed a dream chaser. One of my goals for Year 7 was to take more risks. Well, I decided I would start off with a bang. Last weekend, my fiancée and I packed what we could in my and her car and we got keys to our new apartment in Birmingham. I started my new job Monday and she had her final interview (she got hired!) I feel a bit overloaded but I am excited about the new opportunities.
Traffic is something that I have to get used to. It can be frustrating. I am still amazed that I am here, that I really, like real deal moved. Everyone at the new job has been very nice and accommodating. I am learning new things everyday and I am happy to know that I get to continue my mission of being a helper and helping women and men empower themselves to become independent.
Today has been awesome. I was able to get a tour of my work site. It’s great to be able to be with a program where it is in its first beginning stages, to help with its foundation. They are currently making a way for some new things and I am excited for them to come to fruition.
TGIF!!! This has been a great first week. I have been able to have a great week of fundamentals. I am a big advocate that if you give an employee a good foundation to stand upon, it is beneficial in retaining employees. I used today to complete trainings and read through information.
The first week of Many!