Archive for category inspirational
…just can’t get my po’self together.
It’s been a minute. Your girl been going through some things but I am happy that the writing bug has bitten me so here I am. I would love to say that I promise to do better but I’m going to take this thing called Life, one day at a time.
God speaks to me but he doesn’t talk with words. He shows me things. He uses visuals with me.
My occupation has me driving. A lot. I put on average 1,000 miles on my car a month, not including what I do outside of work. So, I am in my car. A lot. If you are in Alabama or in the surrounding states then you know that it has been raining on a daily basis. So recently, I drove for miles and saw nothing but sunshine but after a while, I noticed rain was on the horizon. It is a mixture of dark grey and Aegean blue. It’s hazy but I can see through it. The closer I get to it, I notice subtle changes to the atmosphere; Fog begins to arise from the asphalt, there’s a misty smell that comes through the vents, and then the rain and I finally meet. At first, it’s not that bad and I am sure that I can see the end of it. However, after about 3 minutes, the rain is not letting up and visibility is nonexistent at the moment. I put on my blinkers and I get my speed between 25 and 30 mph. Not even 5 minutes after that, the rain ceases. I shut off my emergency lights and my windshield wipers. The sun is already coming out. I look back in my rear view mirror and I see where I just come from and it still looks gloomy but I made it out with no wounds.
I know you asking what the heck this got to with God speaking to me…..
Welllll, like I said earlier, I’ve been going through stuff. In the next couple of months, I will be making life changing decisions but that doesn’t stop my day to day responsibilities from not going haywire. For some things, I can feel things are starting to change, and not always for the best. At first, it feels manageable but then for what ever reason, my visibility becomes cloudy and I have to put on my emergency lights (prayer) and windshield wipers ( faith). It feels like forever but the storm doesn’t last always. The sun will shine again and it’s okay to look back again to see how I overcame the storm.
Self Doubt. Anger. Confusion. No Time. These past couple of months have been challenging, to the say the least. I was asked to take on another role at work, which I was such an honor and I was so happy to even be considered. What I didn’t immediately realize would come would be difficult work situations and extra responsibilities that doesn’t always end at 5 o’clock. During this time of transition, I’ve doubted myself, became stressed and anxious to the point where the only thing that got me out of bed was the fact that I knew I could hop back in as soon as I got back home. I hate that feeling but sometimes it felt like it was unavoidable. I was able to decompress with trusted coworkers and my best friends but I felt like I was hitting the same wall on a weekly basis. Is this what it looks like when you are given more responsibilities? If so, I was looking for the receipt and the package that it came in.
But God. He knows what I need even before I ask. He gave me April 16th. He gave me the holiday to celebrate his son’s resurrection. He gave me (US) his only son, the ultimate sacrifice. It was doing this day that it hit me that he sacrificed his life for me, not to live life in ever-anxious state but to LIVE. He wants all the praise. The life I live should be a joyful one, a one of thankfulness on our tongue.
Life can be daunting. It can be uncomfortable and scary. However, I believe in God. I believe that he has his best interests for me. It is a reason for me to be going through this. It is for preparation for something greater. God has made ME in his image and he makes no mistakes. He has given me the tools for my purpose in this world.
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” -John 11 25-27
Love. This four lettered word can bring on palpations, giggles, blushed cheeks and daydreaming. It can also cause anger, doubt, and tears. I decided for this post to define what love looks like to me.
Love is French fries with Heinz ketchup and not gaining any weight.
Love is having my Godbabies run up to me and give me hugs.
Love is not always hearing what I want to hear but what I need to hear.
Love is watching the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigation with my favorite person.
Love is having my mom buy my favorite chips even when she knows I’m on a diet.
Love is having multiple conversations with my best friend on several social media simultaneously.
Love is looking in the mirror and smiling at who I see.
Love is when someone lets you know that they have been listening.
Love is random gifts in the mail.
Love is the sun on my face on a beautiful spring day.
Love is completing the perfect squat.
What does Love looks like to you??
I am a huge Ellie Goulding fan. Both the music itself and the lyrics move me. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that one of her songs embodies my feeling about my body and my chronic illness. My Blood helps explain my journey. When I saw her in person tears flowed when I heard this song live. It was a very ethereal moment, and I will never forget it as long as I live.
Let me walk you through the song.
That feeling, that doesn’t go away just did
And I walked a thousand miles to prove it
And I’m caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts
The color of my blood is all I see on the rocks
As you sail from me
These verses capture the struggle as my body was breaking down. I could barely walk or sleep. I was miserable. I had to see so many doctor and travel many miles to even figure out what was wrong with me. I struggled with the idea that my body was fighting. It is literally parts of my actual blood that doesn’t work right. And my blood was all I could think of.
Alarms will ring for eternity
The waves will break every chain on me
My bones will bleach
My flesh will flee
So help my lifeless frame to breathe
Finally I got a doctor who cared and promised he would make me feel better. He did confirm that this was a lifelong disease and there was no cure. But there was a treatment and that helped me breathe and step forward. My lifeless body could actually become something useful again. These promised kept me going.
The lost dreams I buried in my sleep for him
And this was the ecstasy of a love forgotten
And I’m thrown in the gunfire of empty bullets
And my blood is all I see As you steal my soul from me
Alarms will ring for eternity
I skip the chorus to get to the next verse for a purpose. I want to leave you with the chorus as that is my hope for my life so forgive me for the incorrect order.
This is my life as I started to heal and fight the pain. I looked back at what I wanted to do and tried to succeed instead of letting my dreams be buried. I refuse to let this disease steal my spirit but it’s a tough battle and I saw my spirit be dragged from me. But no more! I will capture it again and I will be me again!
And God knows, I’m not dying but I breathe now
And God knows, it’s the only way to heal now
With all the blood I lost with you
It drowns the love I thought I knew
This is the hope portion of the song. Treatment is the only way to heal. I am not terminal and I can live on. I can find that spirit I lost. I am working towards this more every day! I am so much better that this time last year and that’s just amazing! My mantra? I’m not dying but I breathe now.
Sincere: sinˈsir/ (adj.) free from pretense or deceit; proceeding from genuine feelings.
My pastor has good sermons but his delivery can be a little lackluster. I’ve learned that if I listen to him and write notes that I get so much more from him. He said something that has stayed with me since last Sunday. He said,
nothing is more offensive to God and to man but to not be sincere.
This statement really got me thinking. What does it mean to be sincere? To me it means to be myself, no matter what the consequences are or what others may think of me. There were things that I thought I couldn’t share about myself because of what others would think of me. I thought that people would see me as being different. I’m learning now that being different is sometimes a qualification for one, really enjoying my life and feeling and being authentic. I feel like this past year I have truly been my sincere self. I have shared parts of my self to my closest friends and they never one batted an eye about being supportive of me.
How do you define sincere?
I got the great opportunity to write year 6 goals with my bestie. I am always inspired by the strength of the ladies that God has allowed me to meet on this journey called Life. Some of my goals will be add on from previous years and some are completely new to push me out of my comfort zones. It is my prayer that I commit myself to be more transparent with my journey via blogging with Radical 7even. Honestly, it was our goal when we first started blogging but slowly I started to slack. Thank you for joining us on this Journey. I hope you enjoy our posts.
Here’s to Year 6!
I’ve decided to not do 7 goals but create 5 goals on various parts of my life that I want God to move in.
JOURNALING: I WANT TO JOURNAL AT LEAST 4 TIMES A WEEK
o I have had many friends and family give me beautiful journals. I would write for a month of so but then it would get put down and not picked up, except for the random day. This year and part of 2015 I have done what I consider really well with journal. For the year of 2016, I written at least once a week for the past 6 months.
Use Journal Prompts via Pinterest Pins, Book Questions
Seek out Spiritual/Religious sermons and readings
Honesty Writing about my Day
o Mental Health is a subject that is not talked about enough in the minority community and sometimes with our closest friends. I want to shine a light on these issues
Do a weekly blog on my personal blog titled Wellness Wednesdays
Highlight wellness resources in the local community and nationwide
Being honest about my personal mental health issues and self care.
FINANCIAL/EXTRA STREAMS OF INCOME
o I am believing in 2017 that I will be moving and in the last 2 years I have been doing better with paying my bills on time and I want to continue this trend by building up my savings as well as earning more income for traveling and extracurricular activities.
Be intentional with posting on my DaniGee’s blog and various social media Platforms.
Seek out webinars and informationals on how to make thrifting successful
Plan out writing sessions.
o In simple terms, I gotta do better.
Find a daily meditation
Dedicate 30 min in the morning with Bible Readings
Seek out what it means to be a Christian.
o I have been off the wagon too long. I hang on to the fact that I lost about 30 pounds but I realized that it has been about 10 years and it’s time to start again and continue the journey.
Looking for more ways to eat healthier, i.e. smoothies and crockpot recipes.
Being more intentional in exercising
Joining health challenges
I am praying for an eventful radical year. Please pray for us.
Testimony- evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something.
So today’s Sunday School lesson was discussing the faith and belief to help yourselves and others. The passage was on Mark 9:14-29. It discussed the story about a father who had come to the disciples and Jesus for his son to be healed from a demon. The passage that stood out the most to me in this lesson was Mark 9 Verse 23 “If you can? said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” (NIV) That statement just brought so many different ideas in my mind.
- How simple life would be if we truly believed God and the journey he has for our lives? For me, I worry incessantly. I worry that I am doing too much, that I am not doing enough. What if I just decided to stop worrying and gave my life truly to God? Let him truly fight my battles. How grand my life would be? I try too hard to be the author of my own life instead of giving the Pen to God.
- The father in this story searched for God and his disciples. He was desperate. He had a goal and he worked to see his goal come to fruition. Are we working for our goals? Daily. I can honestly say that some days are better than ever but I made a commitment today to be more consistent. A popular saying in sobriety is, “One Day At a Time.”
- What if our testimony isn’t only for ourselves? God is merciful. He gives us new chances daily. I am a big proponent of sharing my struggles and successes for the sake that it may bring inspiration to others or help them in some sort of positive way.I also believe that we as humans are connected to each other (even if we don’t always like it). I go through things with the idea that God is working on me to help strengthen my relationship with him but what if I go through things so others might see the goodness of his love. I think as Christians it is our duty to share our testimonies with others. Sometimes our testimony isn’t only for us but the person who may feel like giving up.
Cheers to a new week.