It’s the final year of Radical 7even. This year I will look back and see what I have become and make sure I am happy with what I have accomplished. What I see in the mirror will tell me this. For this year, I recycled many goals that have that I failed or only accomplished for a short period. The others are building off my successes of pervious year. I know I am on the verge of something wonderful, and I can’t wait to see what change has actually occurred.
“Here’s to the time we have”
“Lost And Found”, Train
I have let my favorite hobby go. I stopped writing outside of work and some letters. I work on grants but nothing creatively. I haven’t worked on a short story in years and I even completely given up my own entertainment blog. I only post of Radical 7even when it’s a work or goal update. My chronic illness blog gets updated like once a month. This is not acceptable, and I cannot let one of my favorite activities to go by the way side. My goal is to write in each blog once a month and track down my fairy short story and finish it.
Exercise has been on my goals for many, many years. It’s hard for to stick to exercising for two reasons: 1. my illness makes it hard sometimes, and, 2. I don’t really want to do it. Currently, I go for walks with my cats but that’s maybe twice a week. I have videos for Pilates, chair yoga. But I don’t know why I can’t hype myself up to do them. My goal this year is to get into a real routine that benefits me and my health.
3. Be Myself
This last year I challenged myself to open about who I am and my thoughts and goals. I really felt freed and like I was making a difference. This empowered me, and I want to truly embrace who I am and not be afraid to hide it. I want to be fully me and hope that people embrace me instead of hiding what they might not like.
“Till I am a soul on fire”
“Soul On Fire”, Third Day
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “‘Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with your entire mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
I feel like I do a great job of loving my neighbor. My life and political philosophy is love they neighbor. But you know what I missed? The first part. I love Jesus but it’s not my default love. This year, I my goal am to get to that default and start following the most important commandment.
5. Take A Leap Of Faith
I’m not big on getting out of my comfort zone. I have taken leaps of faith before and been richly rewarded. But I don’t do it often enough. I feel like my fear keeps from things and sometimes I don’t care. I want to learn to take the right chances; not just jumping at everything, but making the right choices for my life as a whole.
“Been a prisoner of the past”
“Learn to Let Go”, Kesha
6. Forgive Myself
Part of my depression and anxiety is exacerbated by how I react. I have trouble forgiving myself. I have always said nothing you can say can be worse than what I’ve told myself.
For instance I got a date wrong for a court date in regards to not having car insurance. I spent all day beating myself up. I had to remember I had a very stressful two months as well as several illnesses. That always leads to my brain being messed up. Once I calmed down, I was able to enjoy time with my family and take the appropriate steps to rectify the situation.
This beating myself up has to stop. It doesn’t make the situation better and just makes me suffer more.
7.Spread the Love
I recently heard that a man that I met back in June died. He had spent the majority of his life in Crimea working with orphans. But he was one of the rudest older gentlemen I had ever met. I tried to get past that and see his service as his true heart. After being kicked out of Crimea when the Russians took over, he was sort of wondering the US. He died from Stage 4 cancer and we had no idea. His body was shipped to California to his mom. I was grateful he had family, but people who talked of him said they didn’t know any of his friends. I know personally, that he was divorced and spoke harshly of his ex-wife. The story of his death implied, to me, the same as his post Crimea life, he was very lonely and don’t have any roots. I don’t want to be that way. So my goal is to appreciate my loved one and try to get along. To let them know they are loved. Let them know they have a person to come to. If I do this, I know I will receive the same in return.
This has been a week of firsts. I’ve moved to a new city, in a new apartment and started a new job. Renee always encourages us to blog in the moment, when emotions and thoughts are fresh. I decided to write about my first week at my new job and being in a new city.
Week 1 Day 2
I meant to do one for Day 1, but I was tired and Snicker bar hungry. I don’t see myself as a person who’s doing extraordinary things. In all honesty, people have to sit me down most times and remind me that I am indeed a dream chaser. One of my goals for Year 7 was to take more risks. Well, I decided I would start off with a bang. Last weekend, my fiancée and I packed what we could in my and her car and we got keys to our new apartment in Birmingham. I started my new job Monday and she had her final interview (she got hired!) I feel a bit overloaded but I am excited about the new opportunities.
Traffic is something that I have to get used to. It can be frustrating. I am still amazed that I am here, that I really, like real deal moved. Everyone at the new job has been very nice and accommodating. I am learning new things everyday and I am happy to know that I get to continue my mission of being a helper and helping women and men empower themselves to become independent.
Today has been awesome. I was able to get a tour of my work site. It’s great to be able to be with a program where it is in its first beginning stages, to help with its foundation. They are currently making a way for some new things and I am excited for them to come to fruition.
TGIF!!! This has been a great first week. I have been able to have a great week of fundamentals. I am a big advocate that if you give an employee a good foundation to stand upon, it is beneficial in retaining employees. I used today to complete trainings and read through information.
The first week of Many!
Being a parent, I now understand the references to The Most High being our father. So far I’ve only had very small children so questions of their obedience was few and far between. As my boys grow I realize how much control I dont have. I cant pick their friends, I cant make them pay attention in class….they will have to want to do those things. I can encourage good behavior and choices and discipline bad ones but ultimately my boys decide if they will do right or do wrong.
That scares me a little bit. I don’t want my babies getting hurt in any way and if they dont listen the likelihood of that increases
It makes me wonder how much it must hurt Him when we go our own way. He knows the hurt that awaits and desperately tries to sway us. It’s a pain I only understand minutely now.
As Fall nears I always tend to look back over the year. I’ve seen my missteps and I’m hoping to correct my thought process soon so I wont have as many missteps.
The only way to do that is to choose TMH truly and completely. Here I go…
It’s been one wild journey trying to seek after The Most High. I’m excited to see what He will do next! I decided to do seven goals which are basically an accumulation of my goals over the years. …so without further ado…. Year 7 Goals:
1. Eliminate debt:
Proverbs 22:26-27 Do not be among those who give pledges, Among those who become guarantors for debts. If you have nothing with which to pay, Why should he take your bed from under you?
I am ready to make employment decisons based on only the Call TMH has on my life and not just worrying about paying bills. I’ve been blessed to work by following my heart but..that also means I haven’t always had the highest pay. I’ve been really doing some research on minimalism and really trying to simplify some things and maximize experiences. The combination of sheding unneeded things will help free up cash to pay off some debt.
Take more risks:
Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
I tend to be overly cautious and rigid. Having four boys has taught me that anything can and will happen. It’s not the what it’s the how. How will you handle new situations or stressful situations. I’m ready to do more and stretch my potential.
This is recycled from last year. I want to take the boys a few places this year but I also want an adult get away. It’s important to explore the world around you.
Read a book a month
Again…pretty simple. I think I’d be further ahead in life had i read more. I have to stay focused to get this task completed.
Find a church home:
Hebrews 10:25King James Version (KJV)
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Since moving to Birmingham I’ve went to church a handful of times. This saddens me because I was once so active. I know tje benefit of setting aside a day just for God and I miss the communion.
Increase social interactions:
I tend to stay home alot. Which is new. This is a result of being sick for months on with HG. Home gets comfortable but I need to grow and do more.
Read the Bible all the way through:
Joshua 1:8 For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
Again I said I’d make this a goal until I complete this task. So here’s hoping this time I complete it!
“Making Everyday a Holiday”
I was sitting at the table the other day thinking about the best times of my life. And I quickly saw that I was so happy right now. I might have finical issues but I am happy emotionally and physically, I’m at a great point in my life. I think knowing that is really the whole goal here; to not just think back on the past years on the bad or that that those years were better than now.
“And God Knows I’m Not Dying But I Breath Now”
My Blood- Ellie Goulding
My health has improved a hundred fold since I started my treatments. But I’m still not doing good enough with my exercise. I am trying to get back to my walks. I had a port put in in July and have been under a lot of stress and I’ve had a body collapse. I spent the last weekend sick. I tried hard to take care of myself but sometimes there are flare si cannot fight and I have to remember that there will be these times and I can’t change them.
“I Know You Hear Me Now”
Hear Me Now-Five
My friends are huge to me. It depresses me that my high school best friend has fallen off the radar. But I remember that I haven’t lost my best college friend. No matter how far away she is, she is still with me ibn my heart. I tried to contact some friend and they didn’t respond. Instead of getting said, I tried to understand their situation and what is going on with their lives. I will welcome them with open arms if they ever come back.
“Let’s Destroy Each Mistake That We Made”
Fake It, Bastille
I have done well here I think. I have et the Lord led he way and to second guessed who I was, what this relationship was doing, I was happy with what I experienced. I saw that I can do so much and am not stuck. I don’t give into peer pressure and I have been so much happier because of it.
“I Always Thought That Things Would Change But They Never Did”
Lonely Town- Brandon Flowers
Depression is an interesting beast. I have worked on techniques to help me when I got in those moments. And though some lasted longer than others, I have come put the other side happier. I have also worked hard this year with being an advocated. Celebrity suicides have been made public and I have tried to portray a real picture of what depression is and bbeing someone who will be there for others.
“Treat Her Better”
Send My Love- Adele
I still have dreams of my exes and I don’t understand why. But I don’t think of them and get angry anymore. I have worked on myself and this has been a release. But it’s not perfect. Someone texted me that one was having a baby an di blew it off. I still have trouble understanding how they can be so happy and I am still single. But I remember I am where I am suppose to be. So even though I can’t say it, I do hope they are happy and that they have changed enough to make their spouse happy.
“You Let The Whole Wide World See”
The Veil- Peter Gabriel
I am me. I piss people off, but I am honestly me. I try to treat people with respect for their ideas and opinions so often I am quite. But I am fighting; fighting for freedom for all, freedom to be myself with out peer pressure getting to me. I am showing my true colors more and more each day and I am happy with who I am,
Seven(7) is supposed to be lucky, right? It has been said to have been used 435 times in the bible. It is also called to be the number of completeness and perfection. 7 years ago, we started this journey with 8 of us. We were/are apart of bible study group called HIS (Heavenly Inspired Sisters). The group has dwindled during the years but the goal is still the same: Living Radically for Christ.
I have learned that living radically for Christ doesn’t come in a neat package. It comes in beat up box that Fedex puts on your front door, without ringing your door bell. I am also learning that my relationship with God will not be the same as the rest of my sisters and that’s okay. We have learned so much about God and each other during these past 6 years.
I am looking forward to sharing my journey with you this year.
This year, I decided to do something that I haven’t done in about 2 years, which is to create 7 full goals. Radical!!!!!
YEAR 7 GOALS
- Take more risks. If I am honest with myself, I have been playing it safe for the last 2 years. I haven’t been asking God to do miraculous things in my life. I am asking for things, safe things but not for things that only God could do. I want to live my life for God and being more radical in living and believing in God.
- Create an emergency fund. This is a necessary goal for me and my beginning family. I want to change the way I view and use money and I want to put myself in a position that if something happened that it wouldn’t be a set back for us.
- Read everyday. Beginning in middle school, reading was my gateway to issues I was having at home. I could easily read 2 books a week. Now, it’s hard for me to finish a newspaper article (Well, not that bad but you get my drift.) I want to read something everyday. I will keep you all updated on what I am reading. This is also a goal I had in year 1 and 2.
- Be more intentional with my blog. I have a lifestyle/fashion blog called The Life and Times of DaniGee. I did more blog posts this past year than the other years combined. I did a lot of mental health related posts, which I do want to continue to be a part of what I write about but I want to steer it back to doing my fashion and beauty related posts and my own personal style.
- Write a short story. My ultimate goal is to write a book but I want to try my hand at being an author of short story. I’ve already joined a facebook group and will begin formulating an outline.
- Find a church home. I am moving soon ( I hope to blog about this in the near future) I have a goal that I can find a church home that suits my needs and provides me with guidance and really shows the meaning of loving thy neighbor.
- Don’t let my anxiety take over my life. I am open to researching ways to defeat my anxiety. I admit that it rules too much of my life and I am so tired of it.
Here’s to Year 7.
I finally got a chance to watch the movie Collateral Beauty. Well really not got the chance but actually wanted to watch it. When I first saw the trailer I was like nope, seems too sad. But… I took a chance and was pleasantly surprised.
I wont spoil the movie but the premise is a man loses his young daughter to cancer. He’s unable to cope and turns into a recluse. He speaks to no one but writes a letter to death, time and love everyday.
It got me thinking…
What would I say to those entities if they were a person. We all in one way or another fight with these entities our whole lives. We try to forget someone we no longer want to love. We try to hold onto someone who is slipping away by death either slowly pulling them from us…or worse they are gone in a flash. And time….time creeps by and then you look up…and you’re 30 wondering how you got here.
The older I get, I realize how precious life is. How quickly things change. I see my parents getting older everyday. I am blessed to have both sets of grandparents still walking this earth. I see the wisdom they hold and fear I won’t get enough time to dip into their wells of knowledge. I see my boys and realize in the blink of an eye they will be adults. I see my husband and think a lifetime isn’t enough time to spend with him.
When I think of all the bittersweet moments in my life I see the beauty. When I lost Baby Smith, I began to appreciate the true gift of motherhood. When I REALLY struggled with HG, sick everyday and how my husband comforted me. How tender and loving he was. When Darren wasnt breathing I got to appreciate life in general. How this precious soul fought his way into this cruel world and reminds me to never give up.
I am reminded how bloodied my Saviour was for me and how that act of sacrifice is beautiful although it came through so much pain.
It all has a purpose….