Posts Tagged God

Free-Trial Marriage- Renee’

The picture above was taken 24 hours after Darren was born. As you may know it was very  trying. I was blessed to not go through that alone.

When many people envision marriage the first thing that usually comes to mind is the actual wedding. Weddings are the celebration of two people joining together…a marriage is the verb of said commitment. 

What? You didn’t know marriage was a verb? Oooooooh yes it is the very definition of what a verb is. A marriage is a living breathing entity of two people who choose each other and for many bring forth life because of said union. 

Marriage is also a combination of you and your thoughts and ideas as well as what you’ve been exposed to and downloaded both subconsciously and consciously.

Mant times we don’t even realize our expectations are unreasonable until our partner is like…um that’s just not me.

There’s no 30day risk free trial in marriage. You say “I Do” and…you’ure.

In my almost 5 years of marriage Ive been blessed to grow as a woman. Growth comes with a very steep price  Ive been humbled more times than I can count. If you read some of my previous blogs you know I am in recovery for yelling. I’m sure it’s not a real thing but for me it should be  working on extending grace can be hard. Especially when you’re tired…I am not one of those people who functions well when tired. I’m irrated quickly when I’m  tired. 

But I’ve been working on not using that (being sick, tired, overwhelmed) etc. Instead I try and center myself for a few minutes. I find myself a quiet spot and just focus myself. My yelling has gone down quite a bit. Not perfect but it’s definitely decreased. 

Trials will come. That’s just life, but how you choose to deal with them…


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Year 7even Goals-Renee

It’s been one wild journey trying to seek after The Most High. I’m excited to see what He will do next! I decided to do seven goals which are basically an accumulation of my goals over the years. …so without further ado…. Year 7 Goals:
1. Eliminate debt:

Proverbs 22:26-27   Do not be among those who give pledges, Among those who become guarantors for debts. If you have nothing with which to pay, Why should he take your bed from under you?

I am ready to make employment decisons based on only the Call TMH has  on my life and not just worrying about paying bills. I’ve been blessed to work by following my heart but..that also means I haven’t always had the highest pay. I’ve been really doing some research on minimalism and really trying to simplify some things and maximize experiences. The combination of sheding unneeded things will help free up cash to pay off some debt.

Take more risks:

 Matthew 19:26  Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

I tend to be overly cautious and rigid. Having four boys has taught me that anything can and will happen. It’s not the  what it’s the how. How will you handle new situations or stressful situations. I’m ready to do more and stretch my potential.


This is recycled from last year. I want to take the boys a few places this year but I also want an adult get away. It’s important to explore the world around you. 

Read a book a month 

Again…pretty simple. I think I’d be further ahead in life had i read more. I have to stay focused to get this task completed.

Find a church home: 

Hebrews 10:25King James Version (KJV)

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Since moving to Birmingham I’ve went to church a handful of times. This saddens me because I was once so active. I know tje benefit of setting aside a day just for God and I miss the communion.

Increase social interactions: 

I tend to stay home alot. Which is new. This is a result of being sick for months on with HG. Home gets comfortable but I need to grow and do more. 

Read the Bible all the way through:

Joshua 1:8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Again I said I’d make this a goal until I complete this task. So here’s hoping this time I complete it!

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What if? ***DaniGee***


Testimony- evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something.

So today’s Sunday School lesson was discussing the faith and belief to help yourselves and others. The passage was on Mark 9:14-29. It discussed the story about a father who had come to the disciples and Jesus for his son to be healed from a demon. The passage that stood out the most to me in this lesson was Mark 9 Verse 23 “If you can? said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” (NIV) That statement just brought so many different ideas in my mind.

  1. How simple life would be if we truly believed God and the journey he has for our lives? For me, I worry incessantly. I worry that I am doing too much, that I am not doing enough. What if I just decided to stop worrying and gave my life truly to God? Let him truly fight my battles. How grand my life would be? I try too hard to be the author of my own life instead of giving the Pen to God.
  2. The father in this story searched for God and his disciples. He was desperate. He had a goal and he worked to see his goal come to fruition. Are we working for our goals? Daily. I can honestly say that some days are better than ever but I made a commitment today to be more consistent. A popular saying in sobriety is, “One Day At a Time.”
  3. What if our testimony isn’t only for ourselves? God is merciful. He gives us new chances daily. I am a big proponent of sharing my struggles and successes for the sake that it may bring inspiration to others or help them in some sort of positive way.I also believe that we as humans are connected to each other (even if we don’t always like it). I go through things with the idea that God is working on me to help strengthen my relationship with him but what if I go through things so others might see the goodness of his love. I think as Christians it is our duty to share our testimonies with others. Sometimes our testimony isn’t only for us but the person who may feel like giving up.


Cheers to a new week.


Still Pushing,



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When You Tell God No~Audrey

I have been pretty obedient to God as of late. I followed him into domestic ministry at Bridges of Faith. Living off the support of those with generous hearts to put food on the table and paying the car payment is scary! But I tell myself if He brought me to it, He’ll bring me through it!

I have had a wonderful time with the Ukrainian Orphans we bring to Alabama for cultural exchange and family networking. Our first group was a great group of young children. I have always loved young children and those with disabilities. But what I never liked as teenagers. I couldn’t deal with their attitude and sass.  I’ve said this for years. Nothing was going to change that. So when I learned our second group included eight teenagers, I freaked out. I told God I couldn’t do this. I wouldn’t be able to bond. I wouldn’t be able to deal with their attitudes in a Christian manner.

God does not accept “no”. He just doesn’t. He brought over eight beautiful teens and one younger child to enjoy the month of August at our camp called BridgeStone. There were three girls, and I was dreading them the most. They’d freak out about getting dirty and a variety of other issues.  I didn’t want any part of it.

But from the moment they stepped into the airport, these children were nothing like the American teenagers I have worked with. They weren’t yelling or screaming, (to be fair they didn’t know a lot of our language). In the van ride home, they didn’t fight among themselves. They had their snacks and took nap. Even though, this would be the most composed t2015-08-30 06.51.19-1hey will be for the e entire month, they never reached the hectic, loud, negative brouhaha that I was used to. Most of them were well behaved (but as allays with the boys, you had to keep an eye on a couple of them).

But they were so much fun. They participated in a variety of activities from actively learning English to trying new food to getting dirty with horses. No one whined or complained that they didn’t want to do something. They weren’t “too good” for anything. These children had seen the bad side of life and instead of lashing out at those around them, they had pulled inside themselves. So our job was to bring them out if their shells. Some came out quickly, embracing all the adventures in front of them. Some of them were slower, wondering if they could really trust US. But eventually they saw that and reached out to US.

Though I bonded with all the teen and learned about them, there are two that really taught me something about life. The first was a boy with the sweetest smile. He had been through a lot in his life: he had been abused as a child; he had been shuffled off to an orphanage because his mother couldn’t take care of him; and he had grown up with only the bare minimum of everything in life.  But he always gave you a smile and loved to give hugs. He hadn’t given up looking for someone to trust, someone to take care of him. My heart broke to realize that he made the best of a bad situation, and when I let the dumbest things get to me. He inspired me to smile more, to be happy more.

The second teen’s effect on me was more subtle. She did have a drama streak, but she wanted so much to connect with people, to be included and loved. She would help me up and down stars. If she missed helping me, she would be sad and apologize.  She loved freely and laughed often. She wasn’t afraid of tears. She totally changed my mind that all teens were all self-centered. She realized to be loved, she had to give love.

You have to give love to get love. Isn’t that just a profound thought. We can’t be loved by someone unless we have an open giving heart. Sure we can be grumpy and need help, but we have to be willing to get out there, to put our hearts on the line. These children did nothing but that.

The day they left, I cried. Heck, I cried the night before when we were all together. I cried more than I had even cried for the first group! I had such bonds with this children-one boy even told me “I love you” and told me not to cry! Each child was so dear to me: they had each changed my life is some monumental way. They didn’t even know it.

I had told God no, and he threw back in my face 9 instruments of growth and love. He proved to me that he was right and I was wrong. I am humble before him, honored to help these orphans. I must always remember not to tell God no, because he will always show me a yes!

If you would like to find out more about Bridges of Faith please visits:

And if you are interested in making a tax-deductible donation to BOF in my name to continue my domestic ministry work , please contact, donate on-line (mention my name) or send checks to 302 County Road 383, Billinngsley, AL 36006. Thank you for your support!


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Counting Stars~Audrey

“Lately I’ve been, I’ve been loosing Sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard

Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars.”

“Counting Stars,” OneRepublic

This year was prioritized for changing my focus; to starting seeing the important things: my physical and spiritual health, to see people in another light, and not to worry about the green backs, and instead work on my purpose. It has been a big year for me. God led me to change jobs, and He has truly given me what I asked for. I am now a domestic missionary: I don’t have a salary and I depend on the financial generosity of God’s Children, but the feeling of being complete, of following God is all consuming. I am truly counting stars.

Read on to see how I have done with my goals this year. (no matter what I did or didn’t achieve, my wholeness still reverberates in me!)


11133652_452690564881323_3100933449025871009_nInvest in my Prayer Life

This is going rather well. I don’t always go to God first, because I get so wrapped up in my emotions. But I do take it to him and pray to him whenever I felt moved and at night I sit down for a studious prayer to help connect with my Heavenly Father. So I give this goal a thumbs up!



bible-readingRead the Old Testament

My yearly reading started in January and is going really well! I am on track so I count this as another successful goal! I’ve worked through feeling guilty for the few days I am too tired to concentrate on my reading. I just pick it back up the next day and keep on going!

5ac0366ce19e0413b957feb83b4c5a82Establish an Exercise Routine

Great big fail! I tried to start a yoga routine. I have a five minute seated work out my friend sent me. I had another friend have her personal trainer husband create a plan for me (my lack of success is in now way related to their policies or procedures lol). I just didn’t do it. I would get started and then I would get tired. Then I’d get off track. But I have started walking to the mail box as much as I can which a short walk that doesn’t wear me out so I plan to expand it more in the coming year.`

Work on Self Image

I11870664_936730214334_2955001785396253691_n feel like I have gone backwards. At the half way point, I seemed to be doing OK. But I’m not exercising like I should, and I still haven’t lost the medication weight. Its frustrating and I feel unattractive and I feel discouraged. I was showing a friend pictures I took before I got sick. She was like, “That doesn’t even look like you! You look so beautiful!” I know that as time I changes I will, but I blame this on my illness, it seems to be the one thing I can’t shake about it it. I can handle the slowing down, the canceling of plans, but being unattractive isn’t one. I guess its because I felt so unattractive most my life, and then when I finally, get good with myself, it goes out the window.


 2feb1b8cd61b2e8ee3eec105646cb2a6Extinguish my Road Rage

This one worked 99 percent! I do really well on the road now. I had to remind myself that people were not out to get me. People just don’t realize what their bad mistakes can lead to and this is why I was so angry. I started to pray for them and for myself and slowly it began to get better. I could remind myself that maybe they were just Ina hurry and didn’t think or something like that. So unless I am really feeling bad, I have stopped yelling or calling people names.

Shake it Off

keep-calm-and-shake-it-offI am doing a lot better on this one. I pray to God to remind me to relax and not worry. I used “Shake It”, “I Bet My Life,” and a variety of other songs to elevate my mood and remember. I have gotten prayer cards for anxiety and rejection. These help cleanse my soul. My anxiety has gotten better and I have stopped worrying about little or perceived threats as much. This one gets a thumbs up as well.

pkikmExpunge the Record of Cynicism

I have worked hard to see the best in people. I have really opened myself up to hearing from God and allowing myself to think what I should really be thinking about people. I have worked hard not to judge them (working on my road rage has helped this a lot). While its a daily struggle, I feel like its not as bad as it once was. It helps that I have gotten out of a negative environment and into a more positive one. This has helped with Shaking It Off as well as seeing the best in others. I’ve picked up daily devotionals and books to try to connect with people again and to work harder to understand them-from a more positive side this time.

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Radical 3 times fast- Renee`

Three years ago on this date my friends and I embarked on a journey that only had one destination: getting closer to God. My life has changed tremendously within the last three years and I think it is because I (we) have taken this challenge seriously. This year I wanted to have some measurable goals and some more intrinsically motivated goals. I wanted them to be balanced because..well life is not always black and white and I need to explore those areas that are in between.

This year I would like to use a model I think Kelly and Beyondai have used in the past; one that seems more holistic in nature. My goals will be broken down in the Seven areas of wellness ( I believe that’s the correct title)

  • Emotional: I am going to work extremely hard on being more present in the moment with my family, friends and other events. I tend to detach (not purposely) into the technology world. I will be on my phone or Facebook quite often and this has lead to me missing out on some moments. I will also work hard to keep myself healthy emotionally. I tend to repress how I feel and that has lead to some pretty interesting and probably unnecessary beefs and misunderstandings. I will work hard to be genuine with my feelings (if I am mad..say I am mad and not “i’m fine”).
  • Social: I will join more groups or organizations that are on the paths of my passion. I am very passionate about youth and the disadvantaged and have dedicated the last almost decade of my life to these causes. BUT i have struggled to make new friends in the City and hope that by joining agencies that fuel my passions I will meet like-minded individuals and maybe make new friends.
  • Spiritual: I want to embody everything that God wants me to be. I have a book on becoming the Proverbs 31 Woman and I want to take this task seriously ( I never finished the book).  I also want to read through the Bible this year..a task I haven’t done the last two third times the charm right??? To aid with this goal I will utilize various reading plans.
  • Occupational; I am challenging myself to learn more about my job and jobs that I might be interested in. I would love to find an agency/company that would have tuition reimbursement and help me get my MSW.
  • Intellectual: I love to read, always have. The issue is I have reading ADD and literally start a million books and never finish. My goal this year is to start and finish a minimum of three books
  • Physical– Before I had an asthma attack in July of this year I was going to the gym about two-to-three times a week. The attack scared me so bad and I haven’t been back in three months! My goal is to get back to a regular form of exercise through out the week.
  • Environment– Lilly my plant died…maybe a month after I bought her. I left her outside and totally forgot to water her..and she perished like every other living plant I have ever had. My goal this to find something green and let it grow for this year…*fingers crossed*

Well good people in Blog land those are my goals for this year. I pray that God continues to reveal Himself to me more and more each day. 🙂

Radical Dude!


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Bye-bye-bye: Renee`’s that time of year again…the Rad7even review. I would like to say that this year was the year of release for me. I let a lot of things go this year (people, places and things) and I am feeling much lighter as I enter this third year. Releasing can be very painful. I cried an awful lot this year..more than I have in quite some time. I finally let go of two people that were really hurting my growth as a woman. These people I expected to act a certain way because of the title/position they held in my life and they just didn’t. I realize (and accept)  that I have no control over what people do, but I have control over my reactions. I also realize that you have to let people be whoever they want to be. Even if you see what you believe is a better version, life or have to respect the choices of others..even the bad ones. Those are their decisions to make and I am not responsible for anyone else’s failures or even successes. That last part has been the absolute hardest lesson for me to learn..but I am finally understanding. 

Here’s a list of my 2012 goals:


1) Build Radical faith-This year I believe I did step out on faith; I entered a relationship near the end of Rad year 1 and married in the middle Rad year 2. I moved, switched jobs and pretty much completely changed every aspect of my life. I felt lead to make each step. I had to declare things over my life and I am seeing the fruits of my labor.

2) “out of love” another goal this year is to love how God would have us to love. -I have worked really hard to do everything out of love..the only motive i had was to really help others. I learned the most important step of “out of love” is to accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. And even loving people enough to step back and watch them from a distance pursue their passions. 

3)read the Bible all the way through this year.- this goal..didn’t go AT ALL.. I don’t even think I read a book of the Bible all the way through this year. I have a really bad habit of bouncing around and reading things at a whim..which means I have no clue what areas I’m rereading and what areas are new. Next year I think I will try to have an actual Bible study plan. 

4) Allow Daniel to explore his surroundings- I have taken Daniel to museums, zoos, on train rides, libraries etc. I have worked hard to get him out and about. My husband and his biological father also helped with with this goal . My husband and I even started teaching Daniel how to swim and ride a bike this year. So I feel really great about this goal. 

5) Explore and hone my passion-moving to a new city allowed me to reevaluate what I really am passionate about. I joined a few different organizations to really see what Birmingham has to offer and I must say that I did find out what my passion is: children. I have always loved working with youth, but now that I work almost exclusively with adults I realize that although I love my job I really would like to work with more youth. 

6) Have Daniel to recognize sight words- This goal is probably about a “c”. He does recognize quite a few words, but I was advised by a teacher friend to focus on phonics first. SMH..i know that’s how I started yet somehow forgot. So this goal went well, but I probably went at it backwards. .

7) Fully embrace my “natural”,- So..I actually “wore” my natural hair for about a month. I never truly embraced my relaxed hair because I always had someone else do honestly the natural hair journey has been overwhelming and I am honestly lazy. It takes so much more work to do my hair, but i have learned how to flat twist and do twist outs..SO I did learn a little something-something. My hair is actual to my collarbone; so I made the hair length goal as well.


As I enter year three, I have some very specific goals that I want to really work on. Thanks for following along thus far..see ya next year!



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