I write because honestly it is probably the truest form of expression I have. Talking for me usually means that I have muddled over the words a million times before I opened my mouth and uttered one single word.
But with writing…as soon as pen hits paper or fingers hit the keyboards…my thoughts seem to just flow. It’s why blogging has meant so much to me. It has allowed me to highlight my lows and highs in a very true and raw way. I have to be honest and say that I still struggle to just live in the moment. When things are going well I still have this feeling of dread hanging over me …what if this happens or what if that happens. I can’t seem to figure out how to truly rest in God. I’ve been a Sabbath keeper my entire life..yet I find myself unable to rest my spirit.
I am finally realizing how little control I have over my circumstances. That terrifies me. I like to know that if I do X,Y and Z then A,B and C will happen. But as you can tell from not just my story but the story of all the girls that unfortunately (and sometimes fortunately) that’s not how things work on this planet.
It is my hope that I truly learn what having the Peace of God really means. God will shake things up to get you to where He needs you to be and we just have to be willing and trusting. As I close out this Rad year and open up another, I hope I hold on to the fact that
Going along with my goals for fasting from something once a month (Rad7even goals-year 5) I will not listen, watch or read the news for the next month. I realize that reading the news has only added more stress, I do not feel more informed just more anxious about the world around me. I also plan to do some art journaling. I have been reading some things from Brene` Brown: http://www.oprah.com/app/brene-brown-on-demand.html?_escaped_fragment_=
I want to look for the light and not distracted by the dark. So, I will challenge myself to find beauty in all things; even if they are bad.