updates please-Renee`

So I am a bit late in posting a blog update. I have just been so…I guess distracted. Finals are next week, I had two major assignments due last week which I so procrastinated on (as usual) so I was busy making sure things were submitted and then I just wanted to do a whole heap of nothing after that. But I saw that everyone else was doing the six month check in and I decided to see where I was on my goals as well, wanna read it..here it goes:

1. Follow every prompting of the Holy Spirit-Hm. I think I have done really well. Ive worked hard on praying for people when their names or faces pop into my mind. I have also tried to refrain from doing things that just don’t sit well with me, but I have struggled a little bit lately with gossiping..which is so weird because I am sooo not the gossipy type but lately I have fallen into this trap. And I feel it when I am about to say something and boom I say it anyway. So I have been working on watching what I say and how I think.
2. Do it afraid– well lets see 1) I applied and thank God was accepted into another job. 2)I was promoted on my job and accepted that position and 3)I entered into a new relationship. All three things scared the living daylights out of me, but I felt lead by God to step up and out and I thank Him for allowing me to grow the way I have over the past few months. I am a different woman.
3. Try new experiences on purpose-I have tried to get out more socially, I have been to a few more plays,poetry readings and outings with the girls. I have tried to be waaay more spontaneous than I have in the past. I cut my hair so I could go natural a few months before we started radical 7even, but I am now at the point where I think I will actually start to embrace and wear my natural hair..which I did for maybe a week…so that will def be new. I have also gotten more comfortable with teaching anger management classes and found out that I actually really like teaching adults life skills, which is completely different for me because I usually work with youth.
4. Do your best even when it seems failure is near– I have had a really hard semester in my MPA program. One word:Budgeting. I am not a big fan of math or formulas and this class is full of it. to top it off there’s a bit of a language barrier with my professor. he’s a really nice instructor but I am a visual learner and most of the time the excel spreadsheets are already filled in and not much explanation is given. I was so discouraged that I actually thought about switching programs. But i decided to focus on my ultimate goal:working as a executive director in the non profit sector. This helped me let go of the discomfort I feel now and plan for my future.
5. Force my mind to focus on positive outcomes- I am the most fretful person I know, so I have really worked on speaking positive things to myself and those I love. I have done a really good job lately, but I did struggle in the beginning. I still freak out when bad news comes, but the freaking out part is dying down quicker each time 🙂
6. Learn a minimum of one new activity or idea– I have really been working on my cooking and have expanded my cooking audience to my boyfriend lol so that means I am getting more confident.
7. Read Daily/Question Daily -I have gotten a few inspirational/devotion books which have helped me redirect my questioning, but I haven’t read daily like I should in awhile. So this is something I will def. have to work on it.
8. I also just wanted to include this picture, because it’s filled with all of the most important people in my life( besides my immediate family)..surrounded by love..i LOVE it

Happy 🙂

Renee`

Dear Self ~Venus

I wrote this note to myself 2 yrs ago when I was going through my situation w/ my ex.  I’m believing  that God will give me the desires of my heart! Excuse the repetitiveness in the note!! lol!! God bless! ~Venus

 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Dear self,

 ou deserve LOVE. REAL LOVE! One day (hopefully will be soon lol) you will have a man that will love you for you and will not make you compromise who you are! You are a wonderful person and a REAL woman. Any man would be LUCKY to have you!  

You need a man that is a Christian, has an education, share similar values that you have, responsible, is up to your level, has a great personality, not controlling, not possessive, dependable, loves God, has a spiritual life or is willing to start one, doesn’t play games, caring, loves his family and is family oriented, has a family that loves you and is not full of drama, willing to be in a long-term relationship, UPLIFTING, will be there for you through thick and thin, doesn’t run away when there are problems but are willing to work things out, will stand up for you, will treat you like a QUEEN that you are and will respect you and your body, not BORING, that share the same interests as you, WILLING TO PUT A RING ON IT, FINDS YOU BEAUTIFUL, APPRECIATIVE OF YOU AND DO THINGS TO SHOW HIS APPRECIATION FOR YOU AND DO THINGS FOR YOU JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, NOT SELFISH, FAITHFUL, HUMBLE, HONEST, KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE, HIS  FAMILY LOVES  YOU

Maybe This’ll Be My Year~Audrey

I can’t believe we’ve been on this journey for over six months! I’m going to use this post to update you guys

Friends

While I haven’t been toFloridasince January, but I have been to several major events including a wedding, baby shower, and graduation and shared those moments with my sole mates. I sent all my girls notes at Easter, so they knew I loved them even if I hadn’t seen them lately.

Blog

Credit: from Casperium on Deviant Art

I still haven’t actually typed anything even though I’ve written things done. One of my friends is doing an icon for me, so maybe that will get me motivated.

Writing

I haven’t written anything new. But I have found a writer’s forum and making an effort to attend their meeting.

Work

Busy but satisfying. This goal has been checked off.

Relationships

I have been making an effort to be more social and friendly. I even had made stops at a certain place to flirt but can’t bring myself to do much else. I am praying for strength and for God to put me on the right path.

Perfectionism

I have ben working onm this goal a lot. Work has caused me to embrace this because I make mistakes but many I can’t worry about, because I only have time to fix things, not dwell on them. I am slowly applying this to my personal life and my relationships with people. Despite my mistakes, I know that my loved one still love me.

Health

As you know, I had a fabulous report from my kidney doctor so I am doing something right! Now I am focusing on my mental health. I’ve been seeing my therapist and taking some meds to help me sleep. I’m already starting to see the difference.

“No more countin’ down the hours
No more wishin’ you were here
I stopped believin’,

Although Journey told me ‘don’t’
Before I call it a day,
Maybe this’ll be my year”

“This’ll Be My Year”-Train

***Especially Chosen ***by Pam

I am so blessed. God is faithful in providing whatever we need. I am still loving my job and somehow am able to successfully parent my many special needs children. Next month our final adoption will be completed and we will most likely celebrate with an adoption party. Our biological daughter, Jasmine, asked this morning if we would adopt her too. She knows that being adopted means you are especially chosen by your parents. What kid would not want to be that cherished? I am glad that she understands the significance of adoption at the age of 5. It will help her to understand how much we should value being chosen by God to be His children also. I would have chosen her had she not been born to us, so now it will be a double adoption party.  How wonderful that our family’s greatest strength is the unbreakable bonds of love that we share? I do know that I am being carried through obstacles that should break me right not. My faith is growing more each time I witness something I need just falling right into my lap. I know I am right where I am supposed to be by these things happening all around me. God makes me feel safe in the middle of chaos. He is my shelter and so much more. I know there will still be hard times and everything will not always be easy just because I am a Christian. I also know than any suffering I endure will have a purpose. I am at a place where I do not regret any hardship that I have been through. I have gained understanding, humility, forgiveness, and strength from the difficult situations I have been through. They have made me better able to fulfill my calling. In the midst of this I have also achieved my health goal of losing weight. I lost 25 pounds so far this year and I feel healthier and stronger than I did 10 years ago. My garden is flourishing and I am happily learning so many new things at work. Life is good thanks to God.

Appreciating New Beginnings

Dear God,

Lately, I haven’t felt your presence, nor have You mentioned which way to go. If you haven’t notice, I am getting a little frustrated. You know I am not the most patient person, yet You feel the need to stall in my life. At times I feel you do this on purpose. Though people say You have a funny sense of humor, I get the impression these aren’t one of those times. What is it you want me to learn in my waiting? I try to trust and hold on, but sometimes and some days are really hard. Are You listening? I only have one wish, a full-time job! Not a man, not a car, not a house, not even a new pair of jeans… though it would be nice if we could work out purchasing a pair of jeans I saw. 🙂 It has been a hard year and a half for me. A lot of searching and questioning, yet I still don’t understand how I got to this place and why I am here. It’s very scary. It gets lonely sometimes and so many doors have closed; doors I thought were meant for me. Now, I realize I don’t know anything anymore. All I have is the dirt beneath me. What can I do with dirt? What do I do with all these stones thrown at me? What do I do now? If you can answers these questions, Your daughter would be so grateful!

Trying to wait patiently,

Bey

Dear Daughter,

Don’t you know you are not excused from pain! I know it is hard, but you just don’t realize what you have. I took away all those things because you needed a new beginning. The path you was taking would only lead to unhappiness. I would rather you go through this pain now than later in life. You are very precious to me and I love you with all my heart, but it is time for you to grow. Time for you to start exercising. That pain you feel is your faith muscles being put to the test. The more you exercise them, the more you grow stronger in Me. That dirt beneath you is good soil for you to plant seeds. Seeds of prosperity, seeds of love, seeds of faith, seeds of helping people attain salvation, seeds to show My glory in your life. You have been given a great opportunity to start over and live the blessed-filled life I have chosen for you. I know some days you regret choosing a life that follows me with your whole heart. It is a hard road to take and many people chose not to follow. I promise you, if you continue to follow Me, I will take care of you. You have to understand, though, that you may not get the type care you want, but you will always get the type of care you need. Now, take that dirt I gave you and start a new life. Use those stones to build a solid foundation in Jesus Christ for He knows what you are going through and wants to help you. Though you may get discouraged, remember my promise that I will never leave or forsake you. Your current storms are for growth purposes only. Continue to follow me and I will direct your paths.

I love you.

Your Father

Dear God,

Oh…

Going to utilize my dirt and stones,

Bey

Though you may be going through a storm, don’t let the enemy keep you from what belongs to you! Go get your blessings!

 

Rough Week ~Venus

This week has been a rough one hence the title rough week..lol..Last weekend I lost my Tigercard (which I use for work to log onto the cash register) and my house key..I called the transit bus on Monday and they told me that the bus driver had turned it in. It took 50 mins to get through on the phone line b/c they were busy..That was frustrating.. I was so happy that  my items were found b/c if it they weren’t on there I was going to be upset. I had to go to their office (the bus company) to pick up my items. I was glad that my roommate on my side was at home b/c I didn’t have a way to the office. Anyway,  we had a hard time trying to find the place but we ended up finding it. Yay! Last weekend I also got some news (i.e. Facebook) and I’m not sure if I was happy or sad about it (I’ll mention it in the HIS Group). Also on Monday, my bf and I had an argument about our relationship and it was kind of heated (I’ll mention it in the HIS Group as well)..My heart has been feeling heavy since last weekend..Right now, I can say I’m emotionally drained and that I’m an emotional wreck. Plz keep me in your prayers. This week G. Craige Lewis had a series called Singles Week Revisited for his devotionals..They have been on point and for me they are confirmation. I’ll have to share the series soon!

On the bright side: I’ll be volunteering w/ the clinic next month for an event they are doing called “The Great Turnaround”. The event will feature Dr. Wilkinson, the author of The Prayer of Jabez. The event is Thursday, May 17, 2012 @ 6p.m. at Lakeview Baptist Church. I’m really excited about it! Yesterday, I got my second client at the clinic. =)  Today, I attended the baby shower of my friend and her sister! It was great! Despite the rough start this morning, it was worth it! Much love! ~Venus

Confessions of a Sinner—Guest Blogger

I have found myself in very complex Relationships with my co-workers. One is through fault of my own, and I strive to let things flow smoothly between. As for the second, I am letting hurt feelings get the best of my Christian nature. Let me share with you my work related sins.

Jealousy

I have a fabulous co-worker who is a lot of fun. She’s single like me and isn’t ready for a new relationship. She has no problem attracting men, and her friends are always setting her up on blind dates. When she tells me about them, I have to fake excitement or happiness. Because I want that: to date and be loved. Also, I don’t want to be the only one of my friends that is single. But I realized last week that this Jealousy wasn’t allowing me to be the Friend I want to be. I have to realize that God has a plan for both of us. So I will be Patient, truly listen to her stories and pray for her happiness with the right man. I have prayed about this and am feeling like I can be a better Friend now.

For I can see that you are full of bitter jealousy and are held captive by sin.”
Acts 8:17

Forgiveness

I have been holding on to Anger and not giving my Forgiveness for past wrongs. A co-worked has treated me disrespectfully and was not performing her job like she should. This made me Angry, and I have spent sometime mulling over her atrocities. The co-worker has since left my organization, but I was still Angry. Then last week, when I was having an epiphany about my Jealousy, I realized I wasn’t granting my Forgiveness and it was eating me up inside. So I have prayed each morning to let go of the Anger and wish her no ill will. The Anger has dissipated and I feel more at peace about my job in general.

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Luke 23:43

I am often forgetful of my own work related lapses and sometimes need a reminder that I am not always being the best Christian to set the example. I feel now like I am getting back on that path.

 

Peace, Love and Prayer

Hollywould

 

Holly Weitz works for a nonprofit in central Alabama. She loves animals and spends her time enjoying a variety of water sports

Decisions, Decisions-Renee`

Ok, so last week I said that I wasn’t doing anything radical and I wasn’t sure what to write about…that wasn’t entirely true. My brain was on overload and I just didn’t feel like diving into all the different thoughts running through my mind..which was actually causing me to be overwhelmed, which causes me to shut down..which caused me to not have radical moments. Welp, I decided to take some things head on this past week. For starters, a few weeks ago I wrote about how I tried out for a short film, I was super excited because I’ve always liked being on stage or on camera, but hadn’t done so in years, like maybe jr. high. So when the time came I was pumped. Well a few dates changed and my organization had a major event the same day I was to shoot. My boss was reluctant to let me take the day off because on days like that you really need all personnel, to top it off I had an extra shoot date right before finals….i just was over committed. And I really wrestled with what to do, i honestly wanted to do it, but my time commitment just wasn’t there like I thought it would be. So, I declined the offer…which I felt bad about because it was close to the first rehearsal date, but I thought it was better to do so before rehearsal than after…since we only had two real rehearsal days. I don’t like doing things last minute, I don’t like people telling me stuff last minute so I felt horrible that two days before rehearsal I pulled out. I tried to find a replacement before hand, but just couldn’t. The pressure I felt for this decision was crazy. I wasn’t being paid for the part, dates had been changed from what I originally agreed too, yet I pride myself on being a person of my word. Good news is I found out that they did find a replacement and everything seems to be flowing. But this incident made me realize that I really work hard to please other people. I was willing to miss work and study time for my finals all because of my word. I was in such a bind over it, but when I talked to my boyfriend and Danielle they were like do what you feel lead to do. See I started having feelings that maybe I shouldn’t go through with it earlier that week. But because I had already committed I wanted to see my commitment through even though in my spirit I no longer felt lead to continue on. all I kept thinking was: how will I look, what will they say..will they be mad, can they find someone so quickly. Instead of trusting my instincts I went off of pride.. I pride myself on this, on that blah blah blah. But honestly I need to pride myself on following the Holy Spirit. He knows where I need to be and what I need to be doing and that’s my first step. Even if it causes discomfort, even if it causes people to look at my strange or weird.. I need to be obedient to that instinct. Had I done so I wouldn’t have wrestled an extra two days over this issue. I would have just put my big girl panties on and bit the bullet like I ended up doing anyway. And afterwards… I felt peace about my decision. I always know what to do, but I second guess myself so much that I just don’t trust what I have going on. So I am going on a fast, starting today, and I am asking for God to direct my path.

Following the true leader,

Renee`

Grrrrrr….. *Kelly

I never thought of shopping for mattresses as a spiritual test. That is until yesterday. 

Nathan and I really should have bought another mattress about a year ago. We’ve been discussing it, but I always put it off because I don’t like to spend money. I finally reached the conclusion that it is necessary and agreed to look for one.

I figured it would be a super simple one day process. Three days later I’m figuring out how frustrating the process can be. So far I’ve gotten the wrong mattresses with the right sales person, and the right mattresses with the wrong salesperson. I’ve yet to find a price I actually like. How much do the mattresses actually cost to make anyway? I refuse to buy a mattress that is worth more than my car. 

I realize my life is very blessed if mattress shopping is my biggest current frustration. This is not meant as a message to vent about my difficulty. My point is that it’s easy to get hung up on little things that can ‘steal your joy’ so to speak. If you look at things like mattress shopping as a spiritual challenge it can help you see it as an opportunity to work on your patience and discernment. It’s a helpful outlook for me. 

Much love and God bless,

Kels

Spreading My Wings??? ~Venus

Hello everyone! Yesterday I was informed that I’ll be on my own as a client advocate at WHMC. I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Lol!!! Up until this point, I been shadowing ppl and two weeks ago, I saw a client on my own w/ the Director of the clinic shadowing me. The director shadowed me yesterday as well when I saw a client.  The client from yesterday is my first client to go in my folder! Yay! I just didn’t think it was going to be so soon for me to be a client advocate on my own.

She gave me positive criticism after I met w/ my client..She told me that she potential in me. She could tell that I’m a shy and quiet person. She told that she sees me blossoming once I get more comfortable with being a client advocate.  I guess its time for me to leave the nest and spread my wings..lol

Random comment: I lost my house key and Tigercard yesterday =( I didn’t know that I didn’t have them until I got on the bus once I left the clinic.  I told the bus driver that picked me up from the clinic that I think I left my items on the bus that picked up from my apt. He told me he was going to let someone know since the bus driver that picked up before him was off for the day. I’m hoping when I call the public bus on Monday they will say that my items were found. I need my Tigercard and house key!

OAS: The Community Assistant was nice enough to give me a house key for free today..I wasn’t trying to get it for free, I told him my situation and told me not to worry about the key.